to be annoyed with the school about packed lunch police

[NYCorLondon]

My dd is in reception and I think the school are being OTT about policing the packed lunches. We got the guidelines before school started which seemed pretty reasonable - not too much junk, no peanuts etc.

So one day I send her in with three small squares of good quality dark chocolate. To my mind that's far better than the cakes that they serve for dessert every day with school dinners. The teachers called me in at the end of the day and I was told not to put chocolate in school lunches. I wanted to say something but didn't want to make trouble so just nodded and agreed.

The other day she had something with sesame seeds on it (I was away that day). DH was called in when he picked up and told that sesame seeds are not allowed (not written anywhere). They had let dd eat it but she'd had to wash her hands and tongue(!) afterwards. DH forgot to tell me about this incident and I sent her in today with a seeded bagel. So this time the dinner ladies took away her sandwich and gave her a plain white roll instead.

I'm feeling really annoyed with the school and thinking about complaining tomorrow. If they've changed the guidelines, then why haven't they sent anything home? And taking away a 4 year old's lunch is really not on imho!

Out of interest, are sesame seed reactions airborne??? Is a child really at risk from my dd eating a sandwich with seeded bread???? Or is the school being totally OTT?? It'll help me get some perspective on this!

Thanks!

if the school were serious about the issue, they should have put it in writing. I would be complauining about the roll being taken away when it is not specifically banned in their written documentation.

however I am feeling particularly stoppy tonight. humph!

I completely understand them policing foods which trigger allergies, especially if they have child in the school who is at risk. But the arbitrary enforcement of healthy eating really pisses me off. My daughter's school said the only treat thing they could have was a plain biscuit, such as a digestive. A DIGESTIVE! A bloomin jaffa cake has less fat, sugar and calories than a digestive. They even confiscated a homemade scone off her.

The point is haberdashery that if this child has such a life threatening reaction to sesame seeds, shouldn't we be told before and not after we've sent something in? And what if I made my dd a sandwich with tahini (since we're vegetarian, that could happen)? That could be equally life threatening and not as obvious as a seeded roll. The school has failed in their duty of care, imo, if they havent communicated with parents.

Perhaps you can tell me how a homemade fairy cake or fruit leather is in any way nutritionally superior to 3 (small) squares of dark chocolate? Of course she doesn't NEED chocolate but part of healthy eating is learning to enjoy something that you like in moderation - and I'd rather that she had a little bit of good dark chocolate than a piece of cake. Are overweight children supposed to live on dry bread and water?

I don't see why it's the school's business at all - the only reason why she's on packed lunches is because they haven't got their own house in order.

No sugar cakes? wtf do they put in them? Sounds horrible and unhealthy.

If there is a child with an allergy as bad as your sister's in the school I agree they would have to ban the allergenic things, Sirzy. Did she grow out of it?

Planes can and do refuse to sell nuts.

Of course its up to the person with the allergy to be prepared but in places where you can reduce the chance of reaction then of course you should! If a ban on nuts in schools means a child feels 'safe' then that has to be a good thing surely?

I know not all parents of children with allergies like that response but a lot do and if it's deemed by all involved to be the best way forward then it has to be respected by the other parents.

I don't mind a ban on nuts or sesame if that makes a child with allergies safe.

I do mind not receiving clear guidance from the school.

That's fair enough. I would certainly be asking the school to clarify and encouraging them to send clarification to all parents.

I believed the bullshit about school lunchs being healthy and planned on cycle that the chocolate cake was made with beetroot and it was all appetising but nutritionally sound. Then dd went through a stage of having cheese and crackers instead of dessert at school, one day in the supermarket she asked if we could buy her the same cheese as she had school.....it was a fluroscent orange cheese flavoured slice

since when did they start policing packed lunches? why is it anyones business what you choose to give your child to eat? when i was in primary i had sandwiches, crisps and a chocolate bar...as did everyone else. in secondary we had vending machines.

when did the world go mad? do i have this to look forward to when ds is at school next year?

i'm so angry lol. As for school dinners it was mainly chips,pizza and burger or some grim looking roast type meal.

Totally on your side here, NY! If there is a child or children with a bad allergy in the school it needs to be spelled out precisely what foodstuffs are dangerous to send in. And they should leave off the healthy eating advice unless a child is regularly given utter crap.

That looks like good advice from the anaphylaxis campaign, babybarrister. Maybe you should print it off for your school, NY?

richpersoninapoorpersonsbody: just because they have no sugar in them (surely there is therefore going to be some sort of artificial sweetener which is worse!) doesn't mean they are nutritionally balanced. Its purely empty calories! When actually there are some vitamins in dark choc.

Obviously, the odd cake, biscuit etc isn't a problem as part of a balanced diet but if they're willing to put the occasional cake on the school menu then surely children on packed lunches can have the occasional treat in their lunch box?

Where I live right now ,nothing is banned (another story )

But ,children with allergies are kept separate by the school by people that work there ~they see it as their responsibility.

I feel very sorry for parents that deal with allergies,its got to be hell...my sister (growing up)was allergic to many ,many things.

It was unbelievably difficult, and they were not life threatening!

A large percentage of DD2s (her included) school are ignoring the heads edict about water in drink bottles. As I've mentioned on another thread, I've been trying to get DD2 to drink water for almost 10 years!
Dhead, and he is a nice well meaning chap, is not doing his credibility any good at all trying to enforce rules that the children and parents have no intention of following.
DD doesn't drink enough full stop and often leaves her breakfast drink untouched, if I forget her drink mug she will have nothing all day. She won't drink milk either.
I think that the root of the problem is that she BF forever and breast milk is slightly sweet. Unfortunately this meant I took the path of least resistance and gave her squash or juice if I didn't want to feed her and there are times and places you don't want to feed a 3 year old.
DH hates milk too, but both he and DD will eat yoghurt and cheese.

Thank God I am over the packed lunch stage. I once sent dd in with 12 raw sausages (realised when I found her sandwiches wrapped in tinfoil in the fridge (easy mistake). The school didn't mention it.

lol cutandpaster!

Ohhh your poor dd, cutandpaster! Her face must have been like this when she unwrapped her lunch. It's the sort of thing I could well imagine doing in the mornings when the dses were younger and needed packed lunches - it's just as well I used cling film and could see what I was flinging into their lunchboxes.

I used to do my best to make their lunchboxes reasonably healthy - there was always a piece of fruit, and the sandwiches were brown bread and decent protein (cheese or nice ham) - but the fruit always came home untouched - if it still looked OK, I wiped it over and sent it back the next day, but even the firmest apple could only really do three school days before it was too battered and needed to be sent to the bin.

My first ever mention in the Roundup was for suggesting that parents in a similar position to me, put plastic fruit in their children's lunchboxes - that way the school would see fruit, and there would be no waste!

Of course now the boys are at senior school, their lunches are atrocious. Where we live, only the S1 children (equivalent to yr8 in England - children go to senior school at 12 not 11) have to stay on school premises at lunchtime - the rest can wander off, so they go to the Co-op for sausage rolls, or to the chipshop, or to the papershop in the village which does a roaring trade in pot noodles - there's always a kettleful of boiled water, and the newsagent will rehydrate your pot noodle for you (or so I am reliably informed by ds3, whose culinary tastes embrace the full spectrum from pot noodles to lobster).

This is one thing I'm really NOT looking forward to when my boys go to school. There are no school lunches here so everyone has a packed lunch and some schools are insane about policing them. My cousin's boys got to a school that allows absolutely no pakcaging - no yogurt pots, no museli bar wrappers nothing! They don't even allow the children to throw away apple cores - it all has to go home again in the lunch box!

Anyway, YANBU - find out why they are pro-chocolate sponge but anti-chocolate. The rationale should be interesting!

This sounds dreadful! What a drag for parents. I guess when you explain the rules they are clear enough, but this information should be told the parents so they don't mind making the extra effort.

I also can't help wondering why so many people have allergies these days? I's never met anyone with an allergy til I was about 30 and now it's rife!

Sometimes you find that schools have formed an 'allergy policy' on the hoof, in response to a specific child's allergy, which just gets sort of embedded badly over the years. So in this case, there's probably been a child with a sesame allergy at some point, so staff have been told to look out for seasame seeds and confiscate. Sounds like they've forgotten about tahini though!

My friends DS goes to a very PFB school and they're not allowed anything with sesame or soy which gives them endless
Problems as he's veggie. Our school - they're just happy if you send in food. Crisps for breakfast are a fairly regular feature

Op the school lunch menus are planned on a cycle and are balanced and healthy. Any cakes for pudding have no sugar in them and the chocolate cake on the menu is not the sort you would buy in the shops. Every school meal provider has to follow strict guidelines about what is allowed and in what quantities.
Bullshit! My dcs primary had a lunch revamp after Jamie Oliver did his thing.
Instead of turkey twizzlers and turkey 2008s (reformed turkey in the shape if the number 2008, and served well into 2009) they had pizza day. sausage day, and the optimistically named fish day, on which they are served fish fingers. Chocolate pudding and custard feature highly, as do chips. School provided packed lunches, consisted of white baguette with ham or cheese, a bag of crisps, a processed yoghurt and a carton drink!
Having a catering background, and knowing the kind of budgets these providers work with, I am in absolutely no doubt that any of these items are in any way healthy, or well balanced, given the fact that they probably cost pence, are produced with low grade ingredients, and bought in in bulk.
As for the no sugar desserts, these presumably have artificial sweetner in them instead? Well Id much rather that my dcs were eating sugar, than ingesting any quantities of something as harmful as that.
Im all for looking out for people with allergies, and accept the sesame seeds and peanuts rule, but the schools need to get their facts straight regarding which foods fall into high risk categories.
As for general lunch box contents, given that my DD is coeliac, and the school refused to even consider asking if school lunch options suitable for her were even available, as they cant cater for everyone, the contents of my childs lunchbox are sod all to do with them, and anyone who had issue with that was advised to contact me in person so that I could tell them to piss off personally.

I also can't help wondering why so many people have allergies these days? I's never met anyone with an allergy til I was about 30 and now it's rife!
Well, using my daughter as an example, my theory is this. Coeliac disease (gluten allergy) has been recognised for a certain number of years, and is generally hereditary. Before diagnosis became available, she would have died, at a young age of malnutrition, as her body became unable to absorb nutrients due to the damage to her gut caused by gluten. Nowadays, she is diagnosed, has an adjusted diet, and will go on to have children, who are highly likely to be coeliac, as will they, and their offspring. Survival of the fittest is not always an issue anymore, thanks to modern medicine. Add to this the much lower infant mortality rate nowadays, and many people who would never in the past have survived the first asthma attack, bee sting, or nut allergy anaphylactic shock incident, are becoming adults and having children of their own.
Now I know many allergies arent hereditary, and could just as easily be due to environmental influences, and many other unknown factors, but they are also seeing the benefits of modern medicine and living much longer than their latterday counterparts. thankfully
P.S. I thank GOD for modern medicine, as without it, I would have died as a child, and neither of my gorgeous DCs would be here at all.

I sent an apple, (the same apple) to school, in the lunchbox, back and forth, uneaten, for an entire term. As did other mothers. We dated the apple.

We called it, 'Mr Apple'. It was like a little pet. We had a little ceremony when we put him in the compost at Christmas. It was only 6 years ago. Perhaps things were different in the West Country?