My best friend is getting married overseas. They live in the UK and have no reason to choose this wedding location other than that they fancied it. We're spending around 2k to attend - that is the best price we could find with a budget indirect flight and sharing a hotel room with another couple.
Were it anyone other than my BF, I'd have politely declined, particularly since it is a long-haul destination I've previously visited and have never felt compelled to return. We've been through a great deal together though, are very close and I couldn't bear not being present on such an important occasion.
I've had a stern word with myself and resolved that as DP have made the decision to attend, we should do so whole-heartedly, and I need to try and be more positive about it. As far as the couple are aware, we've been enthusiastically on-board from the outset.
My resolve held until last week when it became evident that there is very little actual structure to the 'event'. There is to be a brief, low-key outdoor ceremony, (northern hemisphere in October - fingers crossed with the weather 
) by low key I mean the small group of guests standing behind the bride and groom as they say their vows, and that is all. Then, 6 hours after the ceremony there is to be a meal in a restaurant across town. When asked what is planned to take place between the ceremony and the meal, the couple have said that they don't know and we'll just play it by ear. Likewise for before the ceremony and after the meal. Its all going to be ad-hoc apparently.
I'm the first to admit I'm probably not normal when it comes to planning events in that I think of every last consideration and leave zero to chance, and I don't expect everyone else to be exactly like me in that respect. Also, were it a low-key UK affair, registry office and bite-to-eat jobby, I would think it perfectly acceptable that the day was going to be an unstructured affair.
In this case though, I'm frustrated that there has been so little thought given to the day itself. I can't envisage any scenario other than the party adrift in an expensive city, in our wedding guest finery, struggling to accommodate the broad range of (and inevitably discordant) preferences from the varied and various guests.
I recognise that on a wedding day, its about the bride and groom and others need to respect their choices, but since we (and the other guests) are travelling halfway across the globe, used up chunks of leave, have forgone holidays this year and made other considerable financial sacrifices, I had hoped for more really. AIBU?