To be livid that friend lit up in my non smoking house?

[BarbieLovesKen]

I have absolutely no issue with anyone smoking - I'd be a hypocrite if I did, I've smoked myself in the past. As far as un concerened if soneone wants to smoke, its their body and their choice.

That said I have a huge issue with anyone smoking around children and am extremely strict about ensuring no one smokes near my dc. Because of this, our house has always been a non smoking house. Everyone is aware of this. When I did smoke myself, I went outside in to the garden. If anyone visits and wants a cigarette - the go outside.

My dc are 5 years, 20 months and just 15 weeks old. Friend comes round last night for a few glasses of wine. Dc are all upstairs in bed. Each time she wants a cigarette, I go outside with her to keep her company. She went out maybe 4 times. I went to the toilet at one stage and when I came back down, she is sitting on top of my couch smoking a cigarette out the window - "you dont mind this, it's out the window" she says. I told that actually, yes I did mine and could she please throw it out. She looked surprised, giggled and said "oh feel bad now!". Admittedly she was a bit tipsy.

I am absolutely fuming - I mean really, really livid- the more I think about it, the more annoyed I'm getting. Am I over reacting? I just feel this was so disrespectful

lol at the smokers who dont want smoking near their kids.

dont you realise the particles will cling to skin and clothes wherever you smoke and will be passed on to the child and anything you come into contact with. And thats from a consultant Thoracic surgeon. You only have to smell a smoker to realise that.

YANBU to be annoyed but 'livid' is pushing it a bit.

I would be pissed off because it's disrespectful really. If someone comes to my home they should respect the fact that it is a smoke free home.

My mum used to whinge like a septic arsehole that I made her go outside for a fag - she wanted to sit by the back door. As if that stops the smoke and smell coming back in . If she moaned that it was cold I told her to sit in her car or go in the shed. And this was when DD2 was a baby and oxygen-dependent...

Smokers are inherently quite selfish and will always make an excuse to smoke. If they are pissed then the self-control barriers slip even further!

YANBU, but going outside is not enough. I read a study which found that children of parents who smoke inside are 8x more likely than children of non-smokers to get glue ear. Children of parents who smoke outside are still 5x as likely to develop it.

So this roughly equates to (not scientifically of course) one cigarette inside is the same as two outside. Because the smoke clings to your hair/skin/clothes and also comes back in in your lungs.

So if you aren't happy with one inside then you shouldn't be happy with two outside either. So GooseyLoosey is not unreasonable!

YANBU - I'm a smoker for my sins and always smoke outside - even if people say I can hang out of the window, I'd rather just go all the way outside. When I stayed overnight with a friend who'd just had a baby I had a hat to tuck my hair into and changed my top when I went outside to minimise the smokiness on me as much as possible. I just left the clothes in a bag on the step outside. It was a bit of a faff but if I want to continue my disgusting habit it's a concession that needs to be made.

I would be upset at your friend, but not enough to risk the friendship over.
My MIL smokes standing by our backdoor which is in our kitchen and it makes the kitchen smell for quite a while afterwards. I would feel mean askign her to go outside though as she has int he last few years had both cancer (luckily cuaght in the very early stages) and a heart attack. She chooses to smoke her choice and it clearly has made her ill but i still cant bring myself to throw her outside in the rain!

YANBU not to want her to smoke in the house, but over-reacting a bit about what happened.

She was tipsy, she was trying to smoke out of the window, she did throw it out, and she did say she felt bad.

I read this thread yesterday with a bit of a face - it's so black and white, non-smokers are so anti, smokers just shrug.

Anyway, I'd like to say it's put a seed in my mind, not about smoking indoors, just the whole thing, the particles and passing it on.
I smoke outdoors, waft myself around a bit, then kiss ds

He's away just now so I've been smoking indoors and about to begin a big de-fuming before he gets back. I feel like it's clinging to everything

So thanks (I think).

What a load of bollocks over nothing.