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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you should find out how much maternity pay is before getting pregnant?

62 replies

signothetimes · 26/09/2011 20:46

Hmm

I have a colleague at work who got married last december and who decided in July to try for a baby. I assumed she'd sussed all the ins and outs of maternity leave/childcare/cost of babies etc. before she stopped using contraception. It took her all of 4 weeks to fall pregnant. Today, she was almost in tears on realising that you get only £128 maternity pay per week once the employer's pay stops. While trying to be sympathetic etc. all I could hear in my little brain was 'what the feck did you think you got?'. Now her 'hubby' is chucking his toys out the pram at the idea of losing his bumper Sky package for 3 fecking months.Grin

Call me 'old fashioned' but I thought the idea of planning for a baby involved, you know, actually planning how you manage with maternity leave etc.

just not got the patience for this kinda stuff

OP posts:
Beveridge · 26/09/2011 22:43

TBH, I didn't check the details of my mat pay before getting pregnant (planned though v.quick!) - DH and I are both in good jobs and didn't think it would be unreasonable to assume that we could manage on whatever it was. And ultimately, we wanted children so it didn't matter what mat pay I got, we would still want to do it.

I did, however, check out childcare costs for after ML in great detail - after all, ML is but a small financial blip compared to the years of financial disaster that nursery fees are! The irony of second time round ML is that we actually have more disposable income while I'm off than we will have when I go back to work given the cost of 2 nursery places, fuel to get to work in the first place, etc.

theoldtrout01876 · 26/09/2011 22:44

I live in USA,all you get paid here is whatever leave you have accrued .

My last 1 I had the luxury of having short term disability insurance that kicked in after all my sick time and vacation time was used up. I got 3 months total 6 weeks of it at 75% of my pay,that was the short term disability. I had to pay my own health insurance contributions out of that as I was on disability not actually working so they wouldnt cover the premium

They dont actually have to keep you once you tell em your pregnant here so anything you guys get is better what we get and everyone is Envy of British maternity benefits

SurprisEs · 26/09/2011 22:48

I planned for a second child, got pregnant, 8 weeks into it got sacked. Planning... Hmm got me nowhere.

But I see your point. Just think that sometimes you just have to go with the flow and do the best with what you've got.

AuntiePickleBottom · 26/09/2011 22:52

Tbh I didn't look into maternity pay while ttc on my pfb as the original plan was for me to go back after the full pay ended and my husband to be a sahd however during that period I under esteimated how the bond formed meaning I went back to work part time and dh going full time

naturalbaby · 26/09/2011 22:53

i don't think i had any idea what maternity pay was when i was ttc. i just assumed i cut back on all but the basic essentials and enjoy spending time at home with my baby, and maybe going to a baby group or two each week.

i don't know how people spend so much money on babies (well i do if i window shop a bit!). between the sales and ebay, borrowing and presents we hardly spent anything on our baby. no meals out, weekends away, etc etc for a while either. who says having a baby is expensive?! Wink

Meglet · 26/09/2011 22:53

I never planned ahead and considered how I would cope financially when I had my first baby. We muddled through.

Which is odd, because with everything else in life I control plan it obsessively. With having kids I just figured it out as I went.

I wouldn't have had kids if I'd planned it, and my body was on borrowed time so money wasn't the most pressing problem.

Tee2072 · 27/09/2011 06:37

Trout unless things have changed massively in the last 8 years, you cannot lose your job in the US for being pregnant. Granted, they may have.

And you must have worked for a very small company if you didn't get FMLA, which includes Maternity Leave.

Shutupanddrive · 27/09/2011 06:59

Wait until the maternity pay has run out, and she goes back to work. When she starts paying for childcare, then she will have an even bigger shock!

YellowDave · 27/09/2011 07:05

I'm with Beveridge. We weren't not going to have a baby if ML was crap - I'd have had less time off or we would have dipped into the savings we had for an extension we were planning at the time. So I can totally get that you might not plan for this - however if you are living right on the line financially you would hope you might be savvy enough to double check that you could afford it.

NoobyNoob · 27/09/2011 07:10

I didn't find out. Didn't even occur to me, we managed just fine.

peggyblackett · 27/09/2011 07:26

I'm with meglet. I didn't plan my finances at all, it was just something I figured we would deal with. What was more of a shock was the cost of childcare - having never given it a thought then I was surprised!

I'm about to have dc3, so lack of financial planning obviously hasn't put me off :)

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/09/2011 07:38

YANBU, but I think a lot more than you think approach it the way your colleague does. In fact, I think life-planning, financial-planning or whatever you want to call it is a skill totally ignored by many and they prefer to take the risk of making it up as they go along.

HappyMummyOfOne · 27/09/2011 07:42

YANBU, its not just maternity leave people dont account for but the cost of childcare/raising a child.

It would be interesting to see the percentage of families that work out finances first v those that dont. However a high percentage probably factor in benefits which is not really financial planning but relying on somebody else.

kblu · 27/09/2011 14:08

I used to put a percentage of my full time wages in a savings account for the nine months I was pregnant so that it could be used to top up my SMP when I was on ML. It was probably only £30.00 or so a week but it made a massive difference.

ViviPru · 27/09/2011 14:31

As someone delaying having children partially because we couldn't cope financially if I did, it irks when friends blithely pop out sprogs then are surprised how hard they finding it money-wise and feel themselves hard done by.

NotFromConcentrate · 27/09/2011 14:40

YANBU, particularly if the baby was planned.

I am expecting our third baby, who has come as a bit of a surprise (a peasant one, but a surprise nonetheless). I have to admit to being a bit taken aback by the fact that the company I now work for offer nothing other than statutory entitlement, especially as they are a company who pay well etc.

Like I said though, her baby was planned and she was silly not to look into how their finances might be affected.

Treats · 27/09/2011 15:35

I was GOING to say - YABU, not all pregnancies are planned and you can't tell if your circumstances might change once you've got pregnant - but then I read your full OP and I think I have to agree with you.

It's surprising how well you can manage with the drop in income though - I barely noticed first time round. And my situation is the same as Beveridge - I shall be a lot poorer when I go back to work after my second ML than I will be while I'm receiving my SMP.

fanjobanjowanjo · 27/09/2011 15:42

Sign @those who "barely noticed" and didn't bother finding out about finance.

It's mainly a sigh of envy that you have so little worry about your money.

It's also a sigh at the slightly smug way it comes across, granted thats probably me because I'm envious of the lack of worry.

DrCoconut · 27/09/2011 16:39

We planned it but I will be cutting my leave short as I can't afford a full year. We have always known this though. Unfortunately DS2 came along just a few days before the new rules on paternity came in (and one day too late for the sure start grant which with 2 kids we would have qualified for were it not for it changing to 1st child only, grr). We would be better off with DH on paternity pay and no childcare or fuel for work bills. But he only got the 2 weeks.So now the real cost starts.... Surely though everyone thinks about how they will live before a major life change that will affect income/outgoings so massively?

PonceyMcPonce · 27/09/2011 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Northernlurker · 27/09/2011 16:55

I don't understand either how people can plan a pregnancy without looking at their pay or childcare costs. Accidental pregnancy is of course totally another matter.

tyler80 · 27/09/2011 17:24

I think some people tend to listen to friend's experiences etc. rather than finding out the facts for themselves.

So if you had a friend who earned a similar amount of money you might think that you'd get a similar amount of maternity pay and not look into it in too much detail. It's not always obvious to people that maternity pay and allowance over and above statutory varies quite a bit.

I have heard intelligent people making statements about maternity pay that are just plain wrong. You often here people talk about generous maternity packages for public sector workers but I've worked places where it's not much above statutory levels. So whilst I think it's a little foolish to not find out these facts I can see how some might think they'd be ok when they're actually facing a fairly big drop in income.

trixymalixy · 27/09/2011 19:17

All my friends got 6 months full pay (public sector workers) so I got an almighty shock when I found out I would only get SMP. That was before getting pregnant, but had I realised I would have changed jobs to get better mat pay before we felt ready to start a family.

Minus273 · 27/09/2011 22:08

Wow, 6 months full pay, I'm NHS and I don'r get that long on full pay. What has surprised me is the number of people who are shocked I'm not taking th whole year off. (wish I could). Wasn't doing that even before DH's redundancy.

Treats · 28/09/2011 10:01

fanjobanjowanjo - sorry if my 'barely noticed' sounded a bit crass. Just to clarify - I only earned SMP for my first ML (as I will this time round) but just found that my expenses had also reduced (no travel, or going out, or buying a sandwich for lunch every day or needing an expensive wardrobe), so that the drop in income wasn't as severe as it might have been. I was certainly very clear about what I would be paid when I was on ML as I drafted our company's ML policy!

It was much, much harder when I went BACK to work after 6 months ML as we had to pay nursery fees. And I shall feel comparatively wealthy receiving my nine months SMP this time round, once the cost of two lots of childcare are deducted from my salary when I return to work......

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