To feel completely and utterly alienated by the church of england

[reallytired]

We want to get dd baptised. We have attended two meetings and the church wants us to have a service of thanks giving and then have visitors from the church before booking a date for the baptism service.

There was a very cheesy session on forgiveness. One of the parents said they struggled to forgive a particular man. (She gave no details) The priest said to her that you cannot have that attitude if you are going to get your baby baptised. I felt so sorry for the lady as I felt she had been judged on next to no evidence. None of us are perfect.

I struggle to forgive the man who held a piece of sharp glass to my throat at the age of 19 in an attempt to pressurise me into sex. Does that mean that I should not get my dd baptised?

Ormirian, I try everyday to have faith. I no longer practise my catholicism as I cannot align myself with that organisation any longer. But, the meaning of christianity is important to me (if not the spelling). And I am fed up of a supposed clergy not being true to the teachings

I can talk the talk but can't walk the walk - sounds like me

Surely you either forgive someone or you don't? I don't think you can measure it?
I know myself how important it is aside christianity because living in resentment just means a life of misery really. I found my life changed for the better after I began forgiving (not forgetting) You will find the same concept in many philosophy,religion or councelling pathways.

Surely the vicar should be forgiving you your failings in that case? - who said he didn't/wasn't ?

I'm sorry you had that experience, reallytired, but it sounds like you are involved in the church to the extent that it would be worth trying to have another talk with the vicar, explaining how you felt when he said what he did to this woman. It may be that he knew the situation, or was having a bad day, or being unreasonable, but it doesn't seem worth giving up on the church your family is involved in for what could possibly be a misunderstanding.

Hopefully he will be understanding and listen to you, agreeing that in our human frailty we all find forgiveness difficult, particularly for something so traumatic. If however he is flippant and expects you to give a blanket forgiveness over everything that has ever happened without talking it through then it may be the time to look elsewhere for someone more helpful. I hope it works out for you. Some CofE ministers are really rather nice :)