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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was IBU to ask at 3.30am.....

75 replies

woowoo2 · 26/09/2011 11:14

....that my dp come home from his night out with friends, rather than join them to go on elsewhere - 10 miles from home - meaning he would not have been coming home at all until today....

None of dp's friends have the same commitments that he does, and so they all gave him grief for coming home at my request. He is thoroughly pissed off with me today because after hours of drinking I asked him to come home because I didn't see why he wanted to stay out all night - I wouldn't do it and if I did there would definitely be an issue!

WIBU?

OP posts:

Tanif · 26/09/2011 13:27

booyhoo and where would you replace these funds? Especially if, like the OPs partner, you don't work? Magic perhaps?

Original poster

woowoo2 · 26/09/2011 13:27

booyhoo, its hard to read your posts.

The long key underneath all the letters on your keypad is a SPACE BAR

OP posts:

Original poster

woowoo2 · 26/09/2011 13:28

MrSpoc you seem to be ignoring the fact that he WOULDN'T be walking to school at all as he would not have been home on time

OP posts:

Original poster

woowoo2 · 26/09/2011 13:29

and mrspoc my ds is as much his child as his dd's are mine.

We are a family

OP posts:

MrSpoc · 26/09/2011 13:30

But how do you KNOW he would not of been home on time? You dont because you told him to come straight home like a good little boy.

booyhoo · 26/09/2011 13:30

notsofast if itis the case that youdont have money to go outthen phoning/texting to remind him of a budget wouldn't be an issue would it? unless you are with someone who actually will go out regardless of if tehre i enoughfood to eat? in which case why woul yoube with someoe like that?

notsofastmrbond · 26/09/2011 13:31

Oh do stop blithering on booyhoo.

Original poster

woowoo2 · 26/09/2011 13:31

From experience mrspoc my dp has a habit of going out for a couple, saying he will be home to do XYZ as planned and not showing up until mid-day the next day

That is how I KNOW

OP posts:

booyhoo · 26/09/2011 13:34

wow! is that what that long bar is? i never knew

mylaptop hasa mind of itown and chooses which buttons it allows to work.

tanif you take personal responsibilty and make sure you dont overspend if you have no wayof eplacing it. if you dont trust yourself not to overspend then you make the decision not togo out.

booyhoo · 26/09/2011 13:36

notsofast it isn't my fault that you cant respond to myposts but please stopmaking outi am speaking klingon. youlook immature.

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/09/2011 13:39

Originally you said "No he doesn't do it often and no he doesn't have to work today".

But now you say "my dp has a habit of going out for a couple, saying he will be home to do XYZ as planned and not showing up until mid-day the next day"

which gives a very different flavour to this incident.

Original poster

woowoo2 · 26/09/2011 13:43

He doesn't do it often anymore whereyouleftit but that will be because neither of us ever go out anymore because we simply can't afford it.

When he was working, I didn't mind him having massive weekend benders, as long as there was no family stuff planned. and when I say weekend I mean fri or sat

OP posts:

swallowedAfly · 26/09/2011 13:44

ok if latter drip feed is the truth then my answer would possibly be different. i went on the initial story.

notsofastmrbond · 26/09/2011 13:48

I could respond to your posts but they're really not worth responding to. Its like a White noise of self righteous, self satisfied blather and it washes straight over me I'm afraid. Only the shrieking gets through, you could try that again

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/09/2011 14:13

MrSpoc

you took on a child of your own

turns out its not his own child

Spot the contradiction if you regard your stepchild as your own then why is it unreasonable for the OP to expect her DP to regard her DS as his.

I suggest you stop and think about the internal consistency of your arguments before posting, there's a dear.

swallowedAfly · 26/09/2011 14:29

on the other hand mrspoc you're awfully young and yet very much too old to be being told what time you're allowed out to when you go out twice a year.

i'd sit down and talk about that because it's going to breed problems further down the line imo.

AbbyAbsinthe · 26/09/2011 16:29

But so fucking what if it's not his child, MrSpoc? He had agreed to take his stepson to school.

Whilst I think the OP was unreasonable, (lol @ pictish, btw ), you, Sir, sound like you're about 14. Funny how you're all mouth on here, yet your missus tells you what to do

KeepInMind · 26/09/2011 16:43

Poor man, if he is that under the thumb that he can not have a night out.

I would not even think of telling a grown man what time to be home, nor would I expect to be told what time I had to be in if I was going for a rare night out.

izzybiz · 26/09/2011 17:39

At least he called you to tell you of his plans!
My Dh returned home from a night out at 6.30am after going back to a mates house.
I was worrying about what had happened to him (hes always in by 3ish) I was angry as all I needed was a text message!
Hes an adult, I go out and don't expect to be told what time to be home, I don't tell my DH when to be in either!

swallowedAfly · 26/09/2011 18:41

aibu - i went out for the first time in ages with friends last night. i invited dh to come along but he had to go home early for work the next day and i stayed out. it was a friends birthday - we hadn't all been out together for ages and i've been really down since i lost my job and it was doing me the world of good. then dh ordered me to come home saying i was not allowed to stay out any later. i did come home because i was scared of how angry and unreasonable he would be if i didnt but i can't help feeling annoyed. i'm a grown woman - do i really need dh's permission to go out with my friends and should he be telling me what time i'm allowed out to?

i somehow think that might have been replied to differently.

pictish · 26/09/2011 19:37

Totally agree Swallowedafly

WishIwereAtTheWiesnProst · 26/09/2011 19:41

how old are his friends? they should be grown up enough to not take the piss when their friend needs to go home because he has responsibilities

fluffles · 26/09/2011 19:47

you're mothering him op.

MaryPoppinsMagic · 27/09/2011 08:07

I know exactly where the op is coming from.

My dp doesn't know his limits and if I didn't give him a call at 3ish he probably wouldn't make it home till the next afternoon, when he gets a drink in him he turns back into a teenage lad with no responsibilities.

starfishmummy · 27/09/2011 08:14

YANBU.

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