to intensely dislike one of dd's friends...

[SexualHarrassmentPandaPop]

..even though they are 4.

She behaves what I would call brattishly. She openly tries to get dd into trouble by telling her to do things I've just asked her not to. DD doesn't listen to her but it pisses me off that she does this repeatedly and her parents stand by. She plays very roughly with dd and is sometimes downright nasty to my toddler ds (pulls his toys off him off him to make him cry, stamped on his fingers in the park the other week, pushes him over for no reason). Her parents either don't tell her off or they do and she ignores them and that's that. If I tell her off (which I did when she deliberately stamped on ds's fingers) I get cats bum face off the mum. I know it should be the parents I'm pissed off with (I also am) but I actually can't stand the child to the extent her voice grates on me when I hear it. I am trying to phase out the friendship but she seems to be everywhere we go and tries to invite herself to our house after school every day. I am of course as lovely to her as I am to my own dd even though when she tugs on me whining 'Panda' it is like nails down a blackboard in my brain!

Does anyone else feel like this about any of their young dcs friends? I feel genuine affection towards her other friends so it is quite uncomfortable for me to feel such intense dislike for a 4 year old!

Oh god yeah there are some horrific children, try to keep in mind its a case of frankensteins monster thought they didnt raise themselves.

Then she should find something that she would notice. For us it has been no bedtime story or no Dr Who. My oldest is devastated at the idea of losing either so always behaves when it's mentioned . . . or at least tries really, really hard to!

Do you think you would talk to your friend about it? not sure I'd have the guts!

Ooh what about having her at yours without her parents, you can tell her off if she's naughty and at least she might learn to behave around YOU.

DS had a physically aggressive friend. I took to just sending him home when he did something - always with a short explanation along the lines of 'You are not allowed to hurt anybody in this house, it's going home time now'. I didn't really talk to the other parents about it, felt my problem was limited to what went on in my house, affecting my child. I think I just commented that they were not getting on too well today etc. Took a while but he did change his behaviour for the better and he continues to visit.

YANBU. My DD has had a couple of nasty little girls who have been friends with her.
I just don't let them come to my house. They can be friends at school, but that's as far as I'm prepared to bend.

I think it was just an excuse to be honest Eyebrows and that she doesn't want to upset her dd by disciplining her. The time she said about the toys was when she was misbehaving and we were all about to set off for the park. I would have bet my bottom dollar that had she threatened her with no park she would have done as she was told but her mum just wouldn't do that.

I think I will keep my distance and if they ask I will say it's because her dd is rough with the children. It's not really my place to talk her in to disciplining her child differently and if it isn't effecting my kids I couldn't really care less if she won't do what her mum and dad tell her. It is sad if she's struggling to make friends but I'm sure she will learn in time that if she plays nicely kids will want to play with her. I just don't want my kids being the punchbags used for her to learn that lesson!