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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MN Jury - AIBU To Go On Holiday Without My DD?!?

42 replies

Toodamnnosy · 25/09/2011 18:12

Next year DD is in Year 11 (GCSE Year), we have been offered the chance to go to friends in US, in non-half term week for dd, but is half term for our ds.

My mum said 'Go and leave DD with me for the week, she loves staying with me'. This is true but I feel guilty going on holiday without her.

Extra info - she's going to Iceland for a week at Easter without us, we will have a holiday together in the Summer holidays.

Change of date is not an option. It's either without dd, or none of us go.

OP posts:
RebelFromTheWaistDown · 25/09/2011 18:13

Ya bu. DD is old enough to understand and she'll get her turn!

StrandedBear · 25/09/2011 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Toodamnnosy · 25/09/2011 18:15

Yes she has been to the US - including a 10 day skiing holiday without us.

This is not a deprived child!!!

OP posts:
RebelFromTheWaistDown · 25/09/2011 18:15

Sorry op. YANBU! Stupid iPad2!

mumblechum1 · 25/09/2011 18:15

YANBU. We've had several child free hols over the years, when ds was younger we'd leave him with GPs, but now he's in yr12 & we're leaving him home alone for a week soon, albeit with friends' parents on hand in case of emergency.

Equally, he's been off to the States by himself, so no problem the other way around imo.

Your dd is off to Iceland, she'll be fine.

troisgarcons · 25/09/2011 18:18

I'd go! Grin

StrandedBear · 25/09/2011 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffles · 25/09/2011 18:20

is the US holiday close enough to the easter holiday for her to see the equivalence?

e.g. if the US was this month and she had to wait for six months for her 'treat' then it might be hard but if both hols are within the same quarter then i'd say go for it.

Original poster
Toodamnnosy · 25/09/2011 18:21

Iceland is 6 months before US

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 25/09/2011 18:21

YANBU if she has been there before, and is also going on a trip to Iceland (which I saw a friends photos of today, and I am now desperate to go there myself as it looks amazing).

Elderberries · 25/09/2011 18:21

Is she upset by the idea or is she fine going to grandparents. I know it's not popular round here but I would be tempted to take her out of school with the understanding that she do extra work to make up for it.

zukiecat · 25/09/2011 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Toodamnnosy · 25/09/2011 18:23

Elderberries - not told her about the trip or the potential she's not going yet.

Definitely wouldn't take her out of school, dh and i feel very strongly about that esp as modules are happening around that time.

OP posts:
Tortington · 25/09/2011 18:24

if shes not bothered, i'd go

RebelFromTheWaistDown · 25/09/2011 18:29

Go! Go! Go!
I understand how hard it is to leave her behind, but if you have brought up a nice girl she will give her blessing. I'm sure she'll be glad of fthe special time with her gran.
I left my DD's (13 and 14) for 3 months for the trip of a lifetime down under. No regrets!

nooka · 25/09/2011 18:30

So if you go you'd be taking your ds and she'd be staying with her grandmother? My parents went on holidays on their own regularly, and they also sometimes did special holidays for us as individuals. Neither caused issues or resentment. So I think that if your dd is happy with her grandparents, and given that your holidays are out of synch it's certainly not somethign to dismiss as a possibility. As to how your kids will actually feel about it, I think that might be more to do with how they feel about each other, and how much of a holiday they perceive it to be. How old is your ds and how well do they generally get on?

Maryz · 25/09/2011 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingIn · 25/09/2011 18:33

I don't know. It seems a bit mean taking DS & leaving DD at home. How old is DS? Would you consider leaving both the kids and having an adult holiday?

lesley33 · 25/09/2011 18:38

I think you have to ask DD how she would feel about this hypothetically. Some DC would be fine about this, but some would be massively hurt or even see it as somehow proof that you don't want to spend holiday time with her. It really depends how sensitive DC is and on any rivalry between the DC.

FabbyChic · 25/09/2011 18:41

I'd go, but first I would talk to her about it. Maybe you could bring her back some nice holiday gifts.

halcyondays · 25/09/2011 19:06

She may, quite understandably, feel hard done by because her brother is going and she's the only one not going.

lesley33 · 25/09/2011 19:07

I know in her shoes, at her age, I would have felt hard done by because her brother is going. But talk to her.

mumblechum1 · 25/09/2011 19:08

God, ds is counting down the days till dh and I go away and leave him.

I think he has Plans. Hmm

TheHumanCatapult · 25/09/2011 19:11

Go I'm taking dd and ds3 away out of holidays and leaving ds1 and ds2 with my mum as there collage plus senior school year 10 so won't taken them out younger 2 y2 and y3

eicosapentaenoic · 25/09/2011 19:12

GCSEs are priority aren't they? Our skool says no overseas holidays in Y11 exam season. Also, skiing + Iceland = USA. My DDs are always on fab overseas school trips costing £big I never get to go on.

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