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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In wanting to take his shopping list and shove it up his arse?

73 replies

BumWiper · 24/09/2011 11:03

Its been a hectic few weeks here as we moved house.I've been getting things sorted slowly but surely.
DH just texted me that his parents and sister are coming over today for dinner and could I ring him with a shopping list of what I am going to cook for them.Now they are the most picky eaters ever and I would end up doing three meals.I am stressed,tired and narky and have already had a go at DH for inviting them over.I want to relax tonight not entertain them.
I'm going to tell DH that he can go to M&S and pick up some oven stuff and if they don't like it they can lump it.

OP posts:

gettingalifenow · 24/09/2011 11:48

I can feel the need for a takeaway coming on.....

halcyondays · 24/09/2011 11:56

Yanbu, doing 3 meals would be ridiculous. M&Sfood is lovely, so They should be more than happy with that. That reminds me I have a 20% off voucher to use in M&S.:)

TheSkiingGardener · 24/09/2011 11:59

Send him back the phone number of your favourite restaurant.

He is being most unreasonable.

troisgarcons · 24/09/2011 12:03

Its best not to let DH near any heated appliances.He set the kitchen of the old house on fire twice

Shove him outside with a BBQ!

MuthaInsuperior · 24/09/2011 12:06

"I can only assume by your text that you have, again, mistaken me for the maid. Apologies accepted."

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 24/09/2011 12:07

definately takeaway, that way they can pick what they want and pay for their own buy the man a basic cookbook and don't let him invite people without prior discussion.

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 24/09/2011 12:10

Oh and definately SCRUNCH

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 24/09/2011 12:11

So what 3 different meals would you have to make? I have that trouble a bit. My dad only eats meat and potato and no herbs/spices etc. My ils are just fussy in that they always want top quality food and wont just eat what's in the cupboard.

Actually just remembered, when I was heavily pregnant and had SPD my ILs popped round. I was making meat sandwiches for lunch but FIL didn't like the meat I had got or the bread. He insisted I go to one shop for new bread and one in another direction for the meat. I could hardly walk! Should have told him to fuck off.

MiseryBusiness · 24/09/2011 12:18

I would go for the roll and insert method

YellowDave · 24/09/2011 12:19

I can't believe you need to make 3 meals. That is lunacy. There must be one common thing that they will all eat surely? I'd indulge this ONLY if they had proper allergies or vegetarian / vegan. Otherwise I'd make something that offends the least number of people like chicken and do loads of different veg incl potatoes. Then people can take what they like and leave what they don't. While I think as a host you should accommodate your guests likes and dislikes as far as possible if they are just being fussy then they have to suck it up (or just eat bread).

I do think your dh is a bit out of order to invite people without asking but in fairness its his family not just some random punters from the pub or work colleagues you don't know. I wouldn't mind if my dh did this but I wouldn't make 3 different meals. I also do all the cooking in our house but its because I like it and dh contributes in other ways. I think posters that are going on about your dh needing to start cooking are out of line really - you have no idea what the OPs dh does in addition to this to contribute to the family!

I like cooking though and this wouldn't bother me. If you don't then get a takeaway.

SnapesMistress · 24/09/2011 12:24

Takeaway

ChippingIn · 24/09/2011 12:32

He invited them without discussing it with you first and he expects you to cook.... elastic bandages, slings, paracetamol, antiseptic cream & bandaids - as a bare minimum.

Original poster

BumWiper · 24/09/2011 12:45

Quick update:
He rang and said he expected to see red cabbage on the list as its his dads favorite.Well that was the last straw and I told him he was being selfish and unthoughtful.Just because I am at home it dosent mean I sit here twiddling my thumbs.Our AP has been brilliant today,a real godsend.She offered to cook but I said no way,its not what she is here for at all.So we're taking the kids out.

OP posts:

strictlovingmum · 24/09/2011 12:47

Agree with YellowDave, it would have perhaps worked better if you knew bit more in advance IL's are coming, but they are his family, not random pub people you don't know.
I enjoy cooking, and if DH is to bring all the ingredients on the way home, I wouldn't mind cooking.
I don't agree that you need spouse permission "as per say' to invite your family around, they are family your and his, so they should be welcomed in your home.
Is this the first time they are coming around, since you moved into your new house?

GeorgeEliot · 24/09/2011 12:47

Try not to show your resentment too much or you will come off looking worse. I would get him to buy a chicken and teach him to roast it himself (so he will know for next time, not difficult), and some ready prepped veg from M&S and a ready made pudding.
And large amounts of wine.
As for the guests I hope they are polite enough not to turn their noses up at a meal prepared and hosted by someone else.
You deserve chocolate too.
I speak as someone who spends a large amount of time resenting demands made by dh's rellies and friends, and it's believe me it's better to have the moral high ground.

GeorgeEliot · 24/09/2011 12:49

Sounds like you have reached a good compromise.

MissMarjoribanks · 24/09/2011 12:50

I wouldn't have told him he was being selfish and unthoughtful, I'd have told him to fuck the fuck off. Expected to see red cabbage on the list . Why didn't he just get some if it was what he wanted....

And this comes from the woman who cooked an entire roast dinner with all the trimmings for her ILs when she was in labour. In my (and my DH's) defence, I didn't know I was in labour and found moving around helped with the pain.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 24/09/2011 12:55

What's a AP?

Expected to see red cabbage on the list - Does he think you're a fucking chef!?!

Original poster

BumWiper · 24/09/2011 12:56

Its his parents first time.His sister is grand but IL's would just come to be nosey and criticise.We were in our old house six years and they only came up twice and yet expect us to see them every week.I can guarantee you all DH's aunties will know what the house looks like,the decor,everything.

Ah his mother never liked me anyway,because of my out-of-wedlock child.And she keeps calling my AP the foreigner which annoys me.She has a name and she deserves respect.She is more than an AP,she is a very dear friend.

OP posts:

Original poster

BumWiper · 24/09/2011 12:58

AP= au pair.

OP posts:

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 24/09/2011 13:04

Fucking hell! "The foreigner"?, "out of wedlock child" They sound great. If I were you I'd come down with a stomach bug and tell them not to come.

gallicgirl · 24/09/2011 13:06

I'd be tempted to deliberately get something they don't like.

< evil grin >

gallicgirl · 24/09/2011 13:07

Oh, and SCRUNCH, definitely. Make sure you get some sharp corners.

strictlovingmum · 24/09/2011 13:10

Then don't give her the satisfaction to criticise, I would have everything spick and span, beautifully laid table, the works, with red cabbage as centre piece, let her eat her hart out, give it push, and show her what you are made of.
As for the friend/au pair lovely girl, accent her name in IL's company, and if they still refer to her as "foreign girl", well it's only the their shame, they will end up looking like half educated twats.
I find that in such situations it's best to put your best face on, do the best you can and make your DH proud, who cares about IL's.
Your MIL sounds evil.

blackeyedsusan · 24/09/2011 13:12

you mean you are considering writing it on paper?

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