To ask DH to cook dinner when he comes home from work?

[LoveMyGirls]

I'll try to make this brief.

Dh work full time leaving the house at 8.15am and takes dd1 to school on the way he returns home at 5.50pm. He is very capable of doing all house related stuff but cooking is not his strong point, he panics a bit and can really only do one plate of food at a time.

I work full time doing 50hours per week as a childminder, I'm also starting to set up as an artist too so I can hopefully make a living out of it when my dd's are at secondary school/ college, I'm also doing my NVQ 3 in childcare so if the art doesn't pan out I have a qualification to fall back on.

I cook dinner for 5/6 dc's for 5pm, all children are collected by 6pm. This is when I start round 2 of cooking dinner for DH & I. Sometimes I can make enough to put it by for us to eat when everyone has gone but sometimes this isn't possible.

So AIBU to ask DH to cook on the days I haven't managed to put something to one side?

SGB I suspect you may be right about the passive-aggressive thing. It's just so odd.

Also, you don't necessarily have to ask him to cook, just be responsible for dinner -- so if he wants to do takeaway or ready meals that's fine, but it's up to him to sort it.

YANBU I fail to see why you should cook every night. Tell him he can cook two nights a week, then stick to it. If he persists in cooking one meal at a time then he's likely to find himself still cooking at nine o clock at night. After a few weeks of this he will most likely start to learn how to cook more than one meal at a time.

Why are you cooking two lot's of different dinners?
And why don't all of you eat together, say 6.15?
If you were to start prepping ingredients for dinner (wash, cut) he could finish it off(cook it, practice along the way) and all of you could sit together and eat it, just a suggestion, it works for us.

I love the way people make out that cooking is such an onerous task.
Unbelievable.
It's an absolute doddle.
I can cook a preper meal every night no problem without a husband around in about 30 mins, whilst doing something else.
It's not reocket science.

Moondog - here's your Gold Star.

You both eat dinner, do you not? Both of you work, both of you have children, both of you are adults, both of you need to eat. Then both of you should cook it.

And he can learn to cook. How did you learn to cook, OP? By doing it yourself, I'll bet, because you had to. Your DH will learn the same way. We'd all struggle to learn anything if we knew that someone else would do it for us.

nobody is suggesting it is reocket (sic) science! Merely that it is not U to ask her husband to step up and cook a couple of times a week.

No, it's not rocket science. Which is why the OP's DH should have no problem doing it twice a week.

That's utterly irrelevant.
The point is she cooks already!
Why not jsut make a biut more?
Everyone seems out on a mission to force the poor bugger to cook to prove some bizarre point.
I pity the man, I really do.

Save your sympathy moondog.

It's only cooking.

I think it's daft cooking twice, so close together, and really think the easiest solution is to make enough of what your charges eat to feed you and DH after they've gone.

It would be nice on weekends if he could do some cooking, as you dont need to cook then?

You could divide it up with you cook in the week, he cooks at the weekend, if that works for you. It works here, mainly. Whichever, obviously he ought to be doing his share of the cooking without this 'one plate a a time' faffing around.

I live with a man, incidentally, who didn't cook when I met him and would I suspect have been quite happy not to learn. He didn't get that option. He rather likes cooking now.

Btw when I say 'divide it up' I do mean properly. DP does all the cooking at the weekend. (Come to think of it he does the kids' breakfasts in the week too. Possibly our roles have reversed. I shan't mention this to him .)

'it is a bit of a relentless ongoing task ( and as such not generally attractive to the male species)'...and women like relentless ongoing tasks?

I think it's a typically British trait to regard cooking as a chore-something to get over and done with asap.
I think it's one of the most pleasant tasks going.

Motherinferior no one likes relentless ongoing tasks, but my experience is that women are generally the ones who do them ( mind you having said that DH is out at the minute scarrifying (?) the grass so I can't complain too loudly)

I like cooking. I don't like cooking every night. I would hate to be expected to produce a meal every night. And anyway I'm generous: I like to extend the pleasure of cooking to my dear Mr Inferior

Maybe I should have named this thread what can I cook for 8 people that 2 people can eat later that doesn't contain pork.

stew stew stew stew

stew

I'm not one to pander to fussy eaters.
The OP's list of verboten meals is beoynd belief.Who allows kids to run a household like this?

My DH finds cooking relaxing after work, I find cooking stressful and tiring. Therefore he does the cooking.

I would hate to be made to cook.

Of course it's not rocket science, but it's still nice to share the load.

Everyone saying she should just make extra of what she makes for her mindees seems to have missed her post explaining she doesn't want to eat tuna sweetcorn and fish fingers all the time! And fair enough.

ONe of the worst things about parenthood is the having to cook a nutritious meal every night, when while you are childfree you can choose to skip dinner or have a piece of toast or packet of nuts instead.

Eh?
Nothing worng with cheese on toast or toast and soup or an omelette or a jacket potato with some cheese and Branston. Takes minutes.

Better that than a plate of breaded unidentifiable reformed protein.

And why is she feeding tuna nad sweetcorn and fishfingers ot the kids??

should be crisp butties surely?