To think after 3 years I should be able to drive?

[JimmyChooChoo]

Feel like a loser!Been learning to drive since DS1 was 6months old and now he's 3.I also have ds2 who is now over 1yr!
I have gone through 3 instructors and from manual to automatic.
Just failed my second test today
I'm ok going from a to b but in my test I was all over the place on the huge roundabouts,other drivers stopping infront didn't know what to do and how to position myself in horrible situations etc!
Will it ever come natural?Everyone says it does so why has it taken this long?
Are some people just not 'natural drivers' or does everyone have the potential and just take a little while longer?
Just booked my 3rd test for 2 weeks time!
Any words of wisdom greatly appreciated!Thanks
Jimmy

Another test in two weeks if your test was that scary sounds way too optimistic and I'd really question your instructor why he thought you were ready for it.
What helped me pass fourth time was lots of mock tests in the area, including a couple with the instructor's mates, and not telling a soul I was having a test, which really took the pressure off (though my employers freaked out when I went for my 'lesson' and didn't return for four hours as the test was long and then we got stuck in the rush hour!)

I also had some lessons where I went round roundabouts constantly for two hours, with the result that I was just bored of them by the end instead of scared!

Good luck.

OP, all you need is practice, confidence and a brilliant driving instructor (if you live in North London I'm happy to recommend you mine).

I first tried learning when I was 22, wasted money on 30 lessons with a crap instructor who kept telling me all about her problems with her husband and MIL, and then gave up because I couldn't afford any more lessons and suspected that I was never going to be any good at driving.

I started again two years ago at the age of 38 when on maternity leave, thinking how hard could it be to pass my test before going back to work - er, very!

It took me about 130 lessons over two years, the first half with another rubbish instructor, who also used me as a free psychotherapist - so I learnt more about her problems with her boyfriend than about driving - kept me going round in circles in second gear for 15 lessons, and then never took me above third gear or on anything more complex than a high street for the next 50. And kept cancelling my lessons so that some months I'd be lucky even to have one.

It wasn't till I found a new instructor, who's been teaching people to drive for 50 years, kept his conversation to a minimum, made me go on a dual carriageway on our first lesson, and told me I had technical ability but no confidence or judgement, and gave me three hours of practice every week, that I actually made progress, and actually really, really wanted to pass my test. Which I did first time round.

If I can do it, anyone can do it, OP. I so enjoy driving now that I wish I'd persevered and passed my test 18 years ago. But I agree with other posters, if roundabouts scare you, then you shouldn't be taking your test again so soon - or at the very least you need to really concentrate on your Highway Code, because everything you need to know about approaching roundabouts is in there.

I was once advised to take rescue remedy. I tried it out in the privacy of my own home and it it did fuck-all except taste of whiskey

Probably smelled like it in that case too. So, not really ideal in the close confines of a car.

As for Americans being half-drivers, they don't all live in California and Florida. I have a mate in Wisconsin and he prefers the control that a manual transmission gives with good reason given all the snow.

OP.

The trick to passing your test is to convince yourself that you are just taking the examiner out for a little ride. Pretend you passed your test years ago.

You don't need to panic, you just need to look, and think. Don't ever feel you have to do things too quickly, e.g. I used to hate when people were waiting behind me when I was waiting to pull out. Don't ever be tempted to pull out too quickly. Let people wait.

Same in heavy traffic on roundabouts. Look where you want to go - check no one else is in your way or heading to the same spot at the same time, indicators on if necessary, then go.

I had always had a big fear of driving and even had dreams where I had to get into a car and drive it but couldn't drive! I got quite ill over the years with medical conditions and was told I would be blind within a year without having a big surgery. I got my surgery and thankfully my sight was saved so I started to learn how to drive - it took me over 2 years (I had to have another operation in between and wasn't allowed to drive for 4 months) and I passed on my 3rd test. I found out I was pregnant with DS a month after I passed and I was too scared to drive in case I had an accident! Then when DS was born I was too scared to drive with him in the car but DH has recently had a back operation and it was the best thing for me as I had to get into the car and drive it and I am finally starting to not dread the journey, imagine the scary roads and roundabouts I will have to go past etc! I agree with the other posters that it is just practise that will help you, I finally feel that it is starting to click with me and I am confident enough to go into a car park now and park on a road (still won't parallel park!). I have zero spatial awareness and am the least practical person you could ever meet! I think my mistake was that I thought there was a prescribed way to perform every manoeuvre - like full lock of wheel, half turn etc and I am only now with the practise starting to get more of a feel of driving and can do things instinctively. When I had passed my test I even had to think 'what way does the back of the car need to go' so I knew which way to turn the wheel! It is giving me so much more independance, when I first had DS I would only go to places that I knew I could walk to as I was too embarrassed to say to other mums that I was too scared to drive! You will get there and it will click for you, just persevere and don't give up.

pencil the flower remedies are in a brandy solution.

It can help to calm nerves if you let it :) the solution is so weak though,highly unlikely any examiner would notice.

I agree with you on the Americans choosing manual/stick shift -I live in the US ...its about 50/50 on up-take and most Americans can drive them if they have to!

cocopops very good advice:)

Cheers Feminine, I knew it was some sort of spirit. I'm not familiar with them these days after having heavily overdosed myself as a teen and unable to drink any of them but vodka because it's been nothing but wine for years.

I might get some more Rescue Remedy next time I have a smokers cough if that's the case

pencil

I hope it works on your cough...try the cream at the same time ...for a truly fantastic trip!

RR cream?

Oh, I will, if I can get it here.

It is true that people think Americans can only drive automatics HOWEVER another of my friends confessed once that she never turns left across traffic and makes numerous right-turns around the intersections instead to get where she wants to be. Then again, she lives in Palm Beach and has to be particularly careful

after three years maybe you should give up and get the bus :)

I can't drive yet, I have failed four tests.. but I know that the reason I failed was that I pushed myself to take the test too early. I started driving in April with a 3 month old non-sleeping baby, took first test at beginning August, second one two weeks later. It was madness to try to take a test in those conditions, when I was totally sleep-deprived and with so little road experience. I failed the first with 15 faults, 3 major and the second with 11 faults, 4 major. I just didn't know what I was doing.

I went on to take the other two a mere three months later. Again, took them a week apart. Instructor said I was ready (got no minors on one test, 2 majors on 1 and 1 on the other) but the whole thing was stupid. Probably, if I had just stuck at learning to drive for a full year, going out regularly and getting private practice, I would have passed first time. It sounds to me that you weren't test-ready. That's all!

Just to clarify the "valium for driving test" bit. It was suggested to me by my FIL and my GP agreed it might help but did say he would NOT recommend I make a habit of it. He suggested I try a half tablet when I was NOT driving to see how it affected me. In the end I took a quarter tablet several hours before my test just to take the edge off my nervousness. I passed and have NEVER taken valium (or any other medication stronger than paracetamol) since - apart from when I was in labour with DD. Now been driving for 20 years. Do persevere - it is so worth it

Crikey I didn't know I was only half a driver!

I haven't advised anyone to take valium. I just said that's what i did. And it worked well enough to calm my nerves and help me pass.

I failed my test NINE times!!

Doing a three point turn, a parallel park and reversing round a corner are easy to master, it's the basic driving on the road knowing you are in control of the car when you take your test, the easiest way to overcome this is to just concentrate on basic driving, roundabouts etc., take as many lessons as you need so that the instructor only has to say turn left, straight on, follow the signs for so and so. Once you are comfortable and no longer nervous because you are confident you will pass.

Did you eventually pass, soymama?

My instructor always used to say that you only really learn to drive after you've passed your test and get your own car. I think he had a point.

I have also been learning for 3 years - and have failed 5 tests. The first one was an utter disaster since I was so nervous and the next 4 I have failed on a manouevre - same one each time!

I can do it fine during a lesson but fall apart during a test. I am sitting again in a week hopefully this time will do it!

I am not a natural driver and very fearful - spent months dreading the lesson every week crying in the car etc and didn't take my test for 2 years. But now I can drive, I just can't pass my test. I have also switched to automatic which makes things a lot easier.

The most galling thing is when I see other people driving really badly when I know that they have a licence and I don't.

What utter nonsense about needing to pass your test in a manual. I've only ever driven an automatic and it's never been a hindrance in the slightest. You can get automatic hire cars just as easily as manual ones (I've done so, several times) and it's not like automatics are rare when you want to buy a car! Ignore that very silly advice, OP and if an automatic helps then choose that. I passed my test in a manual but was a VERY nervous driver and hated it until I switched to autos. Now I'd happily drive anywhere and never give it a second thought. Good luck!

I think you are better than you think. Test day nerves are to blame for a lot of failures I'm sure.

Keep at it and you'll get there.

I agree, Twiglets

Don't worry about. I am not a natural driver. I have no problem controlling vehicles but useless when other drivers come near me. I did pass a test but hated driving and gave up completely about 20 years ago. I now just live close to DSs school and a rail station. Get almost all shopping delivered and work from home. Take a taxi when I need it. Saves us a pile of money too as DW does not drive either.