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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask DH to have the snip?

66 replies

mad4mainecoons · 22/09/2011 18:15

im after your - or actually your Dh / DP's experiecnces on this front actually.

i have come to the conclusion after years of trying different hormonal contraceptives and having two children, that i will not put any more artificial hormones in my body. It does not seem to sit well with me and i feel 15 years of trying to find something that works, and suffering pretty miserably as a result is ENOUGH!

so im asking DH to have a vasectomy as condoms are darn expensive! and frankly, horrid! but after doing some basic research im wondering if im BU?

some of the side effects are pretty grim and apparrently they are more common then men are led to believe.

so of the men you know, who have had it done? was it ok for them?

i want to know if im BU to ask him to risk it?

OP posts:

Bubbaluv · 23/09/2011 07:35

Iteotwawki Why not an epidural or spinal block for the female op?

spookshowangellovesit · 23/09/2011 07:38

marginally, its a risk as with all surgery but its a decision that can be looked at an made all by ourselves. just like women make with other elective surgeries. like i said we carry our reproductive organs on the inside we cant control that but it shouldnt preclude us from having control over when we want to stop using them.
oh i am getting right ranty now.

Iteotwawki · 23/09/2011 08:38

Bubbaluv - because while you would be numb at the incision sites, keyhole surgery requires s

Iteotwawki · 23/09/2011 08:41

... Keyhole surgery requires some high pressure gas into the abdomen/pelvis. There are 2 issues - it gives shoulder pain like you wouldn't believe, and it's very difficult to breathe against such pressures.

GA means you are unaware of the pain and we can assist breathing to counteract the abdominal pressures.

I have heard of it being done with just local anaesthetic at the belly button and only one hole (normally there are 2, one for the camera and one for the clips) with everything over in 5 minutes but I don't know of anywhere in the UK where it is done like this.

SansaLannister · 23/09/2011 08:54

DH had the snip. When faced with the question about having children with a new partner should I die, he said he would still have our three to support so not interested in having any more. He felt done with having babies and young children as I did.

He had no problems at all and he and his mate who took him went out to McDonald's as soon as it was done to have lunch on the way home (I had to stay home with our very active toddler and get the others to school).

SIL was sterilised in Edinburgh. Many trusts still use GA for it. It was not a walk in the park. She had a lot of pain from the gas and reacted to the GA.

BikeRunSki · 23/09/2011 09:05

I am 35 wks into my second hyperemetic pregnancy. I NEVER want to be pregnant ever ever again. I have spoken at length about male and female sterilisation to my GP and DH knows my views.

GP has said -as a medic, a father and a vasectomy patient - that this is the most simple option for a complete family. He said he would normally ask parents to wait until youngest child is a year old, but having treated me for hyperemisis in 2 pg and that I am 40 and sensible, he would have refered dh there and then.

GP's opinion is that the risks associated with female sterilisation are far greater, and recovery longer. This is generally of course, not accounting for the individual cases described above.

Having said all that, there's a couple of old bricks in the garden and we have a friend who is a vet....

SexyDomesticatedDab · 23/09/2011 09:39

Volunteered to have it done after our last little surprise turned up. No problems and probably best half day I ever spent in hospital.

TequillaMockingBird · 23/09/2011 10:51

Oh and forgot to mention - you got straight to hell for eating sausage rolls.

TequillaMockingBird · 23/09/2011 10:51

Dang! Wrong thread! Sorry, that must have seemed really weird to everyone here :)

mumeeee · 23/09/2011 11:00

DH had it done a few months after the birth of our 3rd child. There was no complications and all has been fine since. DD3 is now 19. We did discuss it with each other and the GP when we just had 2 children but we were told at the time we couldn't have it done on the NHS until we had had 3 children. I think that has changed now.

iwantbrie · 23/09/2011 11:08

Just talk to him about it. I'm half way through 3rd pg and neither of us want anymore. In fact it was HIM who made the decision to get referred for a VC. I actually spoke to my Doctor about getting strelized after my second pregnancy (I was 30 at the time) and he flatly refused to recommend it as it is higher risk and isn't as reliable as a VC apparently.
It doesn't seem like you're pushing him, just bring it up and get fully informed of the all the facts. And find him a sensible friend to talk to who's already had it - not one who'll give him a load of horror stories about it!

Andrewofgg · 23/09/2011 12:16

Tequila Thank you for the information anyway. I love sausage rolls so it's too late for me and I might as well have more of them :o

Just as a matter of curiosity - what thread did you mean to be on?

Original poster

mad4mainecoons · 25/09/2011 16:33

thanks so much everyone for your input. we are not much further forward towards a decision, but this has certinly informed our discussion.

OP posts:

spacester · 25/09/2011 19:43

My DW asked me to have one end of last year. Wasn't too happy with the prospect, but given the alternatives (another baby, long-term hormonal contraception, condoms) I decided it was for the best and fell on a sword, as it were.

As it happens, the op couldn't be done under a local - I ended up with a GA and pretty invasive procedure this summer. A fair amount of pain, a week off work, followed by a difficult first commute. But I coped and I thought all was ok. Then a few weeks later, I collapsed at work and got taken to hospital. The A&E department assessed me and rushed me to a specialist unit the other side of London for emergency surgery. 6 hours to save my balls! Got a nasty infection, needed to open me up and clean me out. Luckily wasn't as serious as first though, so 2 weeks of strong antibiotics, another week off work, and lots of pain later, I am nearly recovered (some 2 months after the snip). I can't lift still, which makes looking after the kids an interesting challenge, and there is not much housework for me, plus the uncomfortable (and painful) sex if I have it too regularly.

Would I do it again? Probably. Was it the right choice? Absolutely. No need to worry about the prospect of another baby, so sex is much more relaxed.

spacester · 25/09/2011 19:55

P.s as someone who was asked to have the snip, YANBU

MelodyPond · 25/09/2011 20:02

My dh had it done and was completely fine. Sore for a bit obviously but fine!

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