To think school being a bit over zealous

[Rollergirl1]

DD has had a bit of an upset tummy for the past week or so. It hasn't been bothering her other than she has had very watery poos and sometimes needs to go to the toilet very quickly. I took her to the doctors after about 3 days and they said nothing to worry about, it will pass etc. Anyway on Friday she was sent home from school because she had an "upset tummy". When I picked her up she was absolutely fine and it seemed more that it was school that wanted her to go home rather than DD feeling unwell. I managed to get her a doctors appointment that afternoon and they re-iterated that they didn't think it was anything serious. They asked me to get a stool sample if I could, which I did. They then said that she would be well enough to go to school on Monday and just to try to give her bland food over the weekend. Which we did.

DD went to school yesterday without consequence. Although I heard that a friend of DD's went home ill. When I spoke to the Mum she said she was fine, just had a bit of trapped wind.

So school call me at 2.45 this afternoon to inform me that DD has an upset tummy and is saying that her tummy hurts. I was at work and over an hour away. They asked me if I would be picking her up. I said no and that my childminder was probably en-route to pick her up as we were speaking (school finishes at 3pm). The woman on the phone then got very sniffy with me and asked if I was sure DD should be going to the childminders if she was unwell. I told her that she had already been seen by the GP twice who said that there was no reason for her not to go to school, and anyway I was too far away to pick up. I called CM to warn her.

The upshot is that they were also a bit sniffy with CM upon pick-up. Said that they were trying to cut down cross-contamination and that she should be doing the same. The chances are is that if she rushes to the loo again tomorrow that they will send her home again. My question is what am I meant to do? Am i meant to keep an otherwise well child out of school for this? And if so for how long? She has been seen by two doctors who both said she was well enough for school.

I had DS1 off school once and on the second day of his 48 hours away from school, when he was perfectly well, we used the day positively and went out and did something really nice, just the two of us together. Use the opportunity for some time together and monitor her through the day so you can see for yourself what the school is up against and objecting to.

YAB totally U

I wish DDs pre-school were as strong as your DDs on this matter. 48 hrs at home until the bug completely passes - not difficult.

I am not sure how a doctor can say a child will be fine in a couple of days when they haven't had any samples back. I can hear them saying the child "should be fine in a couple of days, feed bland food and keep an eye on their stools". Not the same thing.

YABVU

I think the general feeling is YABU. I agree with most posters.

Also she seems to have had it a while, which generally means the bacteria is being cycled around. Is she wiping properly and washing hands correctly? Washing before eating etc? The sooner you break the cycle the sooner she can return to school.

There seem to be a lot of assumptions here. Yes bugs are common and can spread like wildfire but you know it IS possible for a child to have the runs/be sick without it being a bug! I'm not a doctor but this doesn't sound like a bug to me. It could be something more chronic, food intolerance etc.

Surely if it was a bug, the doctor would have advised her to stay home from school...?

Seeker - probably because the OP started not to trust her own judgement after the school wanted her DD sent home.

DD hasnt had a solid poo in 6 years. There is nothing wrong with her. Every day she has at least one 'watery' poo. It's just the way she is. We could have set up camp in the doctors office when she first went to nursery, she has every bloody test under the sun. Diagnosis? None.

YABU. Its not about an individual child feeling not that bad. Its about the consequences of her spreading it about the school and 100 dcs needing a few days off, plus some of the teachers and dinner staff, and those people spreading it about within their families, to their newborn siblings and their elderly grandparents, their pregnant mothers and people who are immune compromised.

I also don't understand why you took a child who you thought was well enough to be in school to the GP twice. It is customary to let them lie on the sofa eating crackers and watching TV for a few days.

As I say I do agree with the 48 hour rule but for every thread on here like this there is another where the school is telling you that your child has to come into protect their attendance record

I think its better for one child to have an unnecessary 48 hours off than for a load of other people to be infected and for them to have to take time off.

op, yanbu, imo
the gp said it was ok for her to be in school. the GP has to be the judge.

is it a nervous tummy sort of thing.?
and the resutls shoudl be back now though.

YABU. There could be wider implications. My youngest has a medical condition which means any illness, no matter how mild, has a far more adverse effect. I would be cross to know the eldest was sat in a class with a child complaining of tummy pains and suffering an upset tummy. It's a different situation if a class mate suddenly becomes ill as no one could fore tell that, but I don't agree with sending in a child knowing that there clearly something not right! What if there's a parent or sibling that is immune compromised, having a course of Chemotherapy or something? Obviously we all get ill at some point, it's inevitable unless you never leave the house, but even my LO's school is taking a much harder line with illness and germs, which I am grateful for as there is not much that's more miserable than poorly LO's.

YABU. If my child was ill because they caught diarrhoea from someone at school, and their parent sent them knowing they had symptoms, I would be furious.

Not least because when the rest of us get it - I'm the one doing the washing, taking sick time from work (which leads to disciplinary procedures in the blink of an eye), seeing my children suffer.

They need to stay off until no diarrhoea/vomiting for 48 hours. We need to do the same - not go back to work the day after. Even if they feel fine. Most of the time it will be a virus, easily passed on.

For those of you that are interested, a quick update. The results of the stool sample came back clear but with a request to follow up with a doctor if symptoms are still occurring. She saw a different doctor first thing this morning. This doctor said there was no cause for concern but if she still has symptoms in 2 weeks to come back and they will start to investigate IBS or inflamed bowels. In the meantime she should have one actimel/yakult a day to try and regain a normal balance in her tummy. I asked if she should be going to school during this period and explained that she had been sent home one day and I had received a phonecall another day. He said that there was no reason whatsoever for her not to go to school and just to ensure that DD washes her hands every time she goes to the toilet.

So she has gone to school this morning on the advice of the 2nd doctor.

Thanks everyone for all of your messages.

Seems to me that a qualified medical professional can give a more informed opinion than a teacher on this. The Dr said she was ok to go to school, she goes to school.

I've never gone to a school or workplace that used this 48-hour rule, and bugs haven't run riot. I can't imagine that it's practical for many people. I see the sense in it for a food-preparation job, where extra caution is needed, but presumably washing your hands carefully would keep the germs at bay in most situations.

Do people really stay at home once they're better, just in case? How does that go down with the boss, in real life?

Rollergirl, in case you are worried see my post above. I wasn't being facetious, it's what DD really is like. There's no cause, no cure, but also no problem and no pain. Some kids are just 'looser' than others.

(You may find you need to tell the school though. I had to get my doc to write to DD's teacher because she kept saying that DD had a bug. It took months to filter through that there was nothing wrong or contagious about her)