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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school being a bit over zealous

72 replies

Rollergirl1 · 20/09/2011 20:15

DD has had a bit of an upset tummy for the past week or so. It hasn't been bothering her other than she has had very watery poos and sometimes needs to go to the toilet very quickly. I took her to the doctors after about 3 days and they said nothing to worry about, it will pass etc. Anyway on Friday she was sent home from school because she had an "upset tummy". When I picked her up she was absolutely fine and it seemed more that it was school that wanted her to go home rather than DD feeling unwell. I managed to get her a doctors appointment that afternoon and they re-iterated that they didn't think it was anything serious. They asked me to get a stool sample if I could, which I did. They then said that she would be well enough to go to school on Monday and just to try to give her bland food over the weekend. Which we did.

DD went to school yesterday without consequence. Although I heard that a friend of DD's went home ill. When I spoke to the Mum she said she was fine, just had a bit of trapped wind.

So school call me at 2.45 this afternoon to inform me that DD has an upset tummy and is saying that her tummy hurts. I was at work and over an hour away. They asked me if I would be picking her up. I said no and that my childminder was probably en-route to pick her up as we were speaking (school finishes at 3pm). The woman on the phone then got very sniffy with me and asked if I was sure DD should be going to the childminders if she was unwell. I told her that she had already been seen by the GP twice who said that there was no reason for her not to go to school, and anyway I was too far away to pick up. I called CM to warn her.

The upshot is that they were also a bit sniffy with CM upon pick-up. Said that they were trying to cut down cross-contamination and that she should be doing the same. The chances are is that if she rushes to the loo again tomorrow that they will send her home again. My question is what am I meant to do? Am i meant to keep an otherwise well child out of school for this? And if so for how long? She has been seen by two doctors who both said she was well enough for school.

OP posts:
wigglesrock · 20/09/2011 21:03

YABU - I couldn't think of a worse/more uncomfortable place to be than school if I had dodgy poos.

meditrina · 20/09/2011 21:05

If she's actually had a bout of diahorrea on the school, then they know she's got it, and it is normal for them to ask for the child to be off the premises for 48 hours, so I think you've got off lightly (as it fell over the weekend). A continuing complaint of gastric symptoms in the aftermath of known diahorrea is bound to lead to a request for care at home - though I am surprised that they wouldn't keep her when you said CM was already on her way.

The exact diagnosis isn't really relevant here, unless it establishes a non-infectious bowel issue, in which case an individual management plan will need to be put in place for the long term.

Even a trivial infectious diahorrea bug will precipitate the normal 48 hours care at home policy, for the protection of the wider community.

Original poster
Rollergirl1 · 20/09/2011 21:05

slave: She said (the doctor) that she would have no problem with her going to school on monday. They were her exact words. She said that DD should have very bland food over the next few days. She asked DD if she had any stomach pain and DD said no. She asked the consistency of her stools. SHe asked me if I thought DD might be anxious in any way. She then asked me to get a stool sample. That was it.

Let me be clear. She doesn't have the "runs" or the "shits" in the sense that she is passing everything she consumes all of the time. She is eating well, has a healthy appetite and feels generally fine. She is not going to the toilet excessively. Yet when she does go it is a watery consistency. It has been like this every other day for the last week or so.

I am not a doctor. I guess it is resounding that I should have kept her off school for this entire time. But I didn't think she was that unwell.

OP posts:
rhondajean · 20/09/2011 21:05

This is a bit different but I get where the OP is coming from. DD1 went to a school which had a strict 48 hours from last bout of sickness/diarrhea policy. She used to get a cough every winter which went on all winter and she used to cough so hard she made herself sick (just pleghm, nothing sinister).

I sent her to school and told her not to tell anyone she had been sick. If I kept her off Id have had to keep her at home for the full winter. I knew it wasnt infectious.

One time she did it in school, in the morning (say aMonday morning) I sent her back to school at Wednesday lunchtime.

48 hours precisely.

OPs been responsible by checking with her GP, who lets face it knows more about it than a school first aider eh.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 20/09/2011 21:12

I can see where you're coming from rhondajean, but if the GP really had no concerns then she wouldn't have sent off a stool sample.

Until those results are known op'ds dd shouldn't be at school imo.

orangehead · 20/09/2011 21:12

Op said dd had been like this for a week or so, so think she was right to take her to the gp. Normally a tummy bug only lasts a couple of days. My ds2 had runny poo and urgency with it for about 5 years, he has had about every test under the sun and hospital have finally said probably irriatable bowel or emotional Hmm.But the problems I have had with school sending him home saying he had a tummy bug. I explained everything to school he has been like this since about 12 months old the hospital have found nothing contagious and at the time they were looking into food allergies. Things got so bad I nearly gave up work because I was being called away so much.
Anyhow ok maybe op should of kept her off a bit longer but after a week or so and no other family member coming down with it (making an assumption there) I wouldnt really think tummy bug.

rhondajean · 20/09/2011 21:17

Thats a fair point Iwish, I knew exactly what made DD1 sick, I suppose there is uncertainty here. I personally would still have taken the doctors advice though.

worraliberty · 20/09/2011 21:21

But even if she is otherwise healthy it's not fair to send her to school

If her poo is that runny, she might pass wind sitting in class and poo herself Sad

How old is she by the way?

Original poster
Rollergirl1 · 20/09/2011 21:27

She is 5 and has just started in Year 1. She also really wants to go in. She was very upset when she had to come home on Friday. She hasn't had any accidents at school but has needed the toilet very quickly both on Friday and today.

I shall keep her off tomorrow. Anyone have any idea how long a stool sample takes to come back?

OP posts:
40notTrendy · 20/09/2011 21:31

She's ill, she probably wants to be home. She may spread it to other children. YABU. Accept she needs to be at home until things get back to normal.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 20/09/2011 21:32

I would ring the GP's to ask when it should be back, I'm really not sure.

prizeelliott · 20/09/2011 21:36

Poor little thing doesn't want to be running off to have a 'runny tummy' at school. She musn't be well if this is out of the ordinary. Would be devestating for her to have an accident at school. The policy for most schools is to stay off for 48 hours after a runs or vom, most people don't stick to this though....completely understand as a working mother myself, however you have to have a plan b. It just gets passed round and round if not!
Hope she's better soon xx

LittleMissFlustered · 20/09/2011 21:48

My son is currently off for the second time in two weeks with diarrhoea. I know for a fact that at least two other parents in the foundation stage have sent their kids into school this last week after D&V without the 24 hour break school requires. That's the real outcome of sending them in with loose bowel movements. Something is causing it, and though it may be something simple, it's not nice to share:(

I do hope your daughter is feeling 100% soon, they do hate missing out at this age. Hopefully the stool report will have some pointers. Your surgery will be able to give you an idea of timescales if you ring them up:)

mrswoodentop · 20/09/2011 22:54

I can see both sides of this to be honest,I do firmly agree with the 48 hour rule and would never send a child to school with a bug ,however if my ds1(18)had had to stay of school every time he had a runny stomach he would have been lucky to complete a whole week in the last 14 years. He will probably have an upset stomach tonight;predicted A grades tomorrow ,next week because he is visiting a university,every last night of the holidays for 14 years ,every holiday etc etc.Not every upset is due to a bug and sometimes there has to be an element of judgement.

pigletmania · 20/09/2011 23:24

I would say keep her home until the results of the tests come back, than you know for sure whether it is serious or not.

seeker · 20/09/2011 23:36

If you were worried enough about her health to take her to the doctor twice, then it seems a bit contradictory to then say that she is eating well and feeling generally fine and should be in school,

Bootcamp · 20/09/2011 23:47

Yabu. I would not send my child to school with the runs. It may be embarrassing for them and spread. My dh works long hours, no family within 7 hours, if I got it it would ne tough.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 20/09/2011 23:49

HPA advice here

and what seeker said

LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 20/09/2011 23:52

I am going to go against most of the posters purely becasue my children have often had upset tummies not due to bugs. Ds especially reacts to certain foods especially artificial sweeteners and he also has chronic constipation.

worraliberty · 20/09/2011 23:53

Fair point LittleMiss but unless the school has a Dr's letter to confirm it's something like that, they have to treat it as something contageous.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 21/09/2011 00:30

YANBU - You were simply following the doctor's advice. As lay people this is generally the best thing to do. Think you are being treated harshly.

aldiwhore · 21/09/2011 08:41

Did the GP not recommend diacalm or something similar? I've given it to my eldest before now when he's had an upset tummy but not other symptoms.

I would not send him to school with the runs though, not nice for anyone, but mostly, not nice for my son....

CustardCake · 21/09/2011 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

halcyondays · 21/09/2011 09:06

YABVU, it's not fair on your dd or other children to send her in with a contagious bug. The school are absolutely right and I'm amazed the childminder agreed to pick her up. If I sent my children to a cm I'd be seriously unimpressed that she was looking after sick children.

seeker · 21/09/2011 09:07

STILL don't understand why the OP took this child to the dr twice in a couple of days for an illness no mild that she thinks it's OK for her to be at school....

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