to tell my friend to FUCK OFF as i am not a fucking free taxi service!!

[MistyMountainHop]

me and my friend (A) have been going to a dance class on tuesday evenings and i pick her up, i don't mind this at all as she offers to give me a couple of quid petrol money and is really grateful that i pick her up as she doesn't have a car and is on her own so no dh / dp to take her etc. i usually refuse the money as she is a good mate and i know how much she appreciates it.

another friend (B) has asked if she can tag along with us. she doesnt drive but her dh has a car. (so i don't know why he can't take her and pick her up, they havent even got dc so wouldnt be a problem. i know my dh would do it for me.) also she lives out of the way whereas my other friend is pretty much en route to the class.

anyway it just pisses me off as B just EXPECTS me to ferry her around, she didn't even ask me to pick her up, she just assumes i will in case anyone thinks i'm over reacting she has done this loads before, not just on this occasion. and she NEVER EVER offers petrol money. she is a fucking tight arse, she is the type that will calculate her share of the bill to the last penny if we eat out, that kind of person.

god it pisses me off and fuel is so fucking expensive. its like people like this think its free to drive all round town ffs.

I said no to a work colleague today.

I used to give him a lift every morning and evening, and every morning he was late/slept in. He never once offered any petrol money (in 2 years), not that I would have taken it, but the principle....

Then I changed my hours and he had to take public transport costing £30 per week. He needed a lift in tomorrow and I could have done it but said no. Muggins no more.

YANBU surprised anyone thinks you are! I wouldnt take money off a friend as a one off but if she expected me to go out of my way to pick her up when she has access to a car i fucking would.

(well in theory anyway- i dont drive and never get lifts)

YANBU to feel like your friend is taking the piss but in my experience unfortunately people that don't drive (like your friend) have no clue about how inconvenient and expensive it is to taxi people about.

Now I'm pregnant and therefore not drinking, I am always expected to be the designated driver and have had to just say no plenty of times, even though my friends probably think I am BU!

i did actually mean it seriously too! then realised at the end I should add an honest disclaimer

I think you should text her saying if you get over to my place by X time I can give you a lift there. I am happy to give you a lift back to my house, but you need to make your own way back from there.

That way you are not just saying no to her - which you should have done at the time. But you also aren't putting yourself out.

She sounds like a taker. I personally have no problem regularly giving friends lifts out of my way. But then my friends also support me and help me at times - its not a one way street.

She sounds like what I call one of lifes passengers - no pun intended.

I think you need to be a little more assertive though.
As my dad used to say - 'if theyre cheeky enough to ask you should be cheeky enough to say no'

Nope yanbu. Tell her to fuck the fuck off. Stupid fucking bitch

She sounds like a taker. I personally have no problem regularly giving friends lifts out of my way. But then my friends also support me and help me at times - its not a one way street

thats what i mean - ie, my other friend who i pick up is not a taker in the least, she has helped me out before for example she's had my DC for me and she's generally a really decent, generous, kind girl.

i do need to be more assertive, i know i do, i can be such a soft touch sometimes.

I had a 'friend' like yours. Our DS's were similar ages so we hung out a bit before they started school. I used to pick her up, drop her off and I'd always be the one to drive, even though there was a perfectly good car sitting on her drive way. She used to bang on about how much fuel cost but never offered me a penny. Sometimes our trips out would be a good hour drive, there and an hour back. She used to occasionally buy ice creams - when it was her turn to buy she bought Mini-Milks and when I offered to buy them they had Magnums! Needless to say I eventually dumped her.

Even now when she talks to other people about me .... she still can't work out why I never returned her calls!

Lisad123 just reminded me of my off-putting lift scenario - a colleague who lived nearby but didn't drive, so I offered to drive him to and from work. Then he started arriving at mine later and later each morning, making me late. I pointed out that I had to leave by a certain time, and would go with or without him if he was late, and he seemed really put out. Cheeky bastard. Definitely feel into the same camp as your friend.

If you had done so more politely she could have remained your friend

lisacat what a cheeky fucker

LisasCat did his name begin with G?

I don't drive and get lifts from friends all the time.
I wouldn't dream of not offering to pay petrol money, sometimes they accept, sometimes they don't.
I return the favour in other ways, but fuel is fucking expensive, so to share the expense just seems fair to me.

What did you say to her when she asked you what time you'd be picking her up?

Maybe she just doesn't want to arrive on her own? My Dh goes out each week with a friend of his and they take it it turns to do the driving, despite the fact that for friend we are on the way between his house and venue and for dh it means driving past our house to drop his friend home and then coming back again. Maybe you could suggest alternating weeks?

Maybe she just doesn't want to arrive on her own?

nah its definitely not that betterwhen :o

She's being cheeky.

I don't drive (yet!) so am a 'taker' of many lifts. I always try to offer petrol money or if I know that will be refused I try and engineer the situation so that I pay for parking / buy driver a coffee etc / make sure I pick up the bill for lunch very now and then instead of going halves etc.

I really appreciate people driving me around so I make sure they know it! It's not hard is it? I would be MORTIFIED if I found out one o my friends thought I was taking the piss in this way!