To think that we shouldn't encourage people to write complain letters

[Laquitar]

When someone is 'fuming' about a shop assistant, a waitress, a cleaner etc and comes here there are often posters who shout 'write a complain', 'how dare she', 'sack the lazy bitch', 'do it, you will get refound '.

We weren't there and we don't know what happened. Some people 'fume' very easily and some OPs only write half the story. In these days when people fear about their jobs why take pleasure to cause problems in someones life? This 'rude bitch' you want to get sacked might be in some threads here i.e. 'i can't sleep because of our debts', 'how to support my mother who's having chemotherapy', 'i need to hold on my job in order to leave my abusive dh' or 'my manager is on me because i took a day off when my dc was ill last week. Imagine having to deal with the complain letter on top.

But i'm not talking only about women. How would you like it if your dh come home upset after problems with the manager because someone was bored and wrote a complain letter?

And those who shout 'good on you, be assertive', this is not assertiveness, its nastiness imo. After all an assertive person will confront the situation on the spot (if he/she is really right). She won't go home, change the details of the story and write a letter.

irma @ 10:50:24. No, i haven't. Nothing ever makes you think unless it has to do with you?

Aldiwhore, that's a good point yes. If it is a reasonable and justified letter will be helpful to the management.

Laquitar - thank you for clarifying that, your very 'ranty' OP seemed to infer that it was never appropriate!

The face was because the whole long post feels as though you have some specific experience or example that you will 'stealth' reveal shortly....

at kerrymumbles

To be honest, it can be hard to complain without getting frustrated and cross because many, many companies do not handle complaints well at all.

For example, my DH ended up really quite angry at the (absolutely dreadful) customer service staff in John Lewis. We needed to return a faulty computer monitor that we'd bought the weekend before, and had to spend 4 hours (with 2 kids) in their customer service department arguing with them so as to get them to comply with our statutory rights (never mind their own policies). They kept trying to refer us to the manufacturer, rather than admitting that as they'd sold us it, our contract was with them and they should give us a refund or replacement. They were doing the same thing to everyone else, and getting away with it because the vast majority of people don't actually know their statuatory rights.

DH was very polite and reasonable at the start, but after a couple of hours and having to resort to quoting the law at the manager, he was very understandably annoyed. We did eventually get our refund, but decided to write a letter of complaint about it so that people higher up in John Lewis could try to improve things, and offer staff training on the law. We never heard anything back about it at all and the result is that we wouldn't buy anything in John Lewis again (and would advise others not to).

We could absolutely see how it comes about that people get angry and aggressive when faced with such dreadful customer service.

Ahhh John Lewis. They used to be sooo reasonable and professional.

Went there recently and found that items often aren't priced up, so that customers have to self scan their items on monitors (set up around the store!). What is that about???? Cutting staff?

It's a shame. I've bought loads of stuff there in the past...but it definitely seems to be going downhill.

Spottywellies answers the question better than I could "The whole long post feels as though you have some specific experience or example that you will 'stealth' reveal shortly...."

It was just so ranty that it felt like there must be first hand experience behind it.

I am a little confused with the back peddling tbh...

John Lewis customer service is well known for being utterly shite.

Op, yabu, a letter of compaint is often a very useful thing for a manager to receive. It is horrible when your staff are giving poor customer service in a business you have worked hard to build up, you can't watch them all the time. A complaint is a chance to get everybody to pull their socks up.

YABU - if I have had very poor service I think management should know about it. I complain very rarely and actually it has been to banks and utilities, so definitely not after freebies.

As a general rule I would complain about the system in place not individuals, unless someone was abusive I suppose. And having endured some dire jobs when I was younger I certainly wouldn't complain about bored staff of mild unhelpfulness. I reckon people working in some shops are on the receiving end of unpleasantness just as much as customers.

Spotty i admit and acccept that. I'm Spanish speaker and the flow or the use of the language is different so i often come across as angry when i'm not . Sorry.

Sadly, yes, John Lewis customer service is not what it once was.

The point of the anecdote was not to get at JL (it could have been one of many companies), but more that people are often bad at complaining because their met with frustratingly dreadful customer service.

Glad it wasn't just me Irma!

And thanks for explaining about languages OP that makes a lot of sense now.

SpottyWellies - What is 'stealth' reveal?

Some people do complain for the sake of complaining. Some people do complain to get people into trouble. I'm referring more to what goes on in the NHS rather than in customer service type situations as it's what I have most experience of.

At times it's completely appropriate to make complaints (at times I have encouraged it - ie if, due to an avoidable staffing issue a patient is kept waiting for a procedure, a complaint may assist us in getting more staff)

However, the people who work in the complaints dept have told me of people who have written literally hundreds of complaint letters, of the variety of 'it was raining on the day of my outpatient appointment' - ie people who feel the need to find SOMETHING to complain about in every single encounter they have - I bet these people are also complaining about the staff in Tescos looking at them funny and the busses being 25 seconds late as well!

Some people do complain just to be malicious too, I was involved in the care of such a family a while ago, obvioulsy I can't go into detail but a heavily edited example (as in it wasn't this scenario but the intent was similar) was - a family member, in chatting to a person caring for the child said 'the soap in the dispensers here is qute harsh on your skin, isn't it?', carer says 'yes, it makes my skin dry sometimes' - complaint letter says 'x did not wash her hads frequently enough when caring for our child as she was more concerned about avoiding dry skin than appropriate hygeine, we request she be immediately suspended whilst this is investigated'

I'm sure if this family posted here painting the picture they did in their complaint, everyone would be encouraging them to complain! Doesn't mean it's what happened though...

Comeandsit- it is when a poster drip feeds information in multiple posts rather than being upfront about all issues and relevant information in the original post. Tis very frowned upon round here

If it was about me then the OP would have been more specific. This was very general, not about one event. So irma's arm psychology was crap.

People do the same on threads about benefits, mental health, animal rights etc trying to shut others up. You don't need to be on benefits or disabled or a dolphin yourself to be sensitive about something and to start a discussion.

If you don't like the discussion then don't join. No need trying to ruin it.

Last sentence was to Irma, not to Spotty.

well I write complaint letters if I feel the need. but I never expect a freebee. I do that so that other people and I can have a saver, more pleasant environment. I mainly complain about incosiderate (white van) drivers and bus drivers.

likes the thought of dolphins mumsnetting...

Because we are "British" we tend to tut and put up with bad service. We should write more complaining letters. The better organisations value complaints because it provides very valuable feedback on how they are doing. My local sports centre has a "You Said - We Did" board which records compliants and the action they took.

YABU - how can customer service improve if everyone just sucks it up and never complains? sure there will always be a few cranks with little basis for a complaint but those can be easily dealt with. I don't think many people write letters because they are "bored" - usually it's because they have a genuine complaint. Service professionals get away with way too much in this country because no one wants to raise a fuss.

Sally, thanks

Thats the point i was trying to make. When we read threads here we don't know what has really happened.

YABU... people don't complain enough IMHO. Quite happy to rant and rave on a message board, of course. Less happy to do something effective like writing a letter or picking up the phone. If I've paid for something and had a bad experience, why is it my problem that the employee concerned might have had a bad day? Ridiculous.

Yabu. Although I don't complain very often, I think people have a right to complain. I had a crap experience with dd in hairdressers yesterday and I'm not going to complain but I am going to right a review on (ahem) net mums. I doing it because other people have a right to know before they waste their money.

Is this about the flirty waitress?

I have to disagree about John lewis. I bought a dishwasher from there recently and when it arrived it had a huge bash on the door. Customer service rang me 10 minutes after the delivery men had taken it away, told me that model was out of stock but gave me £75 off another model and arranged a free 4 hour delivery slot. Were very apologetic and polite too.

'I'm Spanish speaker and the flow or the use of the language is different so i often come across as angry when i'm not'. I have to say that telling people not to join the discussion is actually quite rude, as is the accusation they are trying to ruin it.

Sometimes, a complaint letter is the only way you will get a response; I have a ongoing complaint with my bank about their inability to either get my name on my statements, and their inability to send said statements and letters to my correspondence address for security reasons, as opposed to the address at which I live.

I am also writing to my son's school, as they have changed the company who run the school buses. In 2.5 weeks, I have had to drive my ds to school 4 times because the bus has either not turned up (first day of term) or been so late that he would have been late, so I have not waited, but taken him in. As we pay somewhere in the region of 2500 euros per anuum for using the bus, I expect it to be there on time, or at the latest 5 minutes late. If I don't write, then nothing will be done. If I do write, then I will get a response. Simples.