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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell friend her cm drinks while looking after her baby?

58 replies

Mrsgilbertgrape · 18/09/2011 22:10

Have pretty much solid proof.

Cm watches friends 8mo 2 days a week on one these days she has lunch out with friends and takes baby along.

I had heard she has wine with her meal but never thought much of it but she has just posted on her Facebook that she is looking forward to her bottle of wine with her lunch tomorrow, someone posted "a full bottle at lunch time? ;)" and she replied "why not? It's only once a week"

Aibu to tell my friend (who does not have Facebook) cm
Does not drive so I'm not worried about her drink driving or anything but surly she should not be getting paid to get half pissed while watching a baby.

OP posts:
Blu · 18/09/2011 22:45

It could be a joke?
But in any case, save / print the page and tell her you thought she might like to see the conversation, and leave her to draw her own conclusions.

The CM is a bit dim if she is really drinking that much while CMing, and writing about it!

Flowerista · 18/09/2011 22:47

Would YOU want to know? Ring her now.

going · 18/09/2011 22:49

I would mention the message to yuor friend. In all honesty if she was having a bottle of wine at luch time your friend would notice at pick up time, you may give her the proof she needs for her suspicions.

MilkNoSugarPlease · 18/09/2011 23:30

Oh absolutely please tell her

FabbyChic · 18/09/2011 23:37

Screen shoot her Facebook page as proof.

Send it to OFSTED. Also show it to your friend and do it quickly, don't leave it too long.

Graciescotland · 18/09/2011 23:43

Function + print screen, paste onto paint if you don't have a printer.

RedOnion · 18/09/2011 23:45

If you are 100% sure it is not just a glass of wine with lunch and it is, in fact, more, then you should mention it.

A glass over a lunch is a different story to a bottle when in charge of youngsters.

FabbyChic · 18/09/2011 23:49

Just print screen will do! You can paste in Word or Paint.

splashymcsplash · 18/09/2011 23:50

YANBU, need to tell.

As others have suggested, print screen and email.

MilkNoSugarPlease · 19/09/2011 07:06

I think regardless of whether its a glass or a bottle, she needs to know

Some peoples views on alcohol and children are very very different...I'd be fired if I had a glass of wine at work but the other family I nanny for wouldn't care less and often leave wine out if I'm working late..and regardless of whether a parent drinks wine whilst looking after children, this person is paid to be a professional and drinking on the job is bang out of order

rogersmellyonthetelly · 19/09/2011 07:14

You need to tell her. I had to inform a friend that her cm was using the mobile phone (no hands free) while driving her kids to school. It was a bit awkward, but I had to say something. If she hadnt been driving the kids at the time it would have been none of my business, but as she was, I had to say something.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 19/09/2011 07:25

If you absolutely know then yes, tell her. I'd be livid if DD's nursery staff were knocking back alcohol with lunch.

I had a boss (nanny) who used to offer me wine (I don't drink) but it was one glass, in the evening and she was there. I never drank it yeuch

BabeRuthless · 19/09/2011 07:48

A word of caution, I'd bear in mind that her saying something on her Facebook page isn't "proof". She can very easily turn round and say it was a joke. By all means tell your friend, but be prepared for this woman to try and lie her way out of it.

ENormaSnob · 19/09/2011 08:13

Tell your friend.

And ofsted.

spiderpig8 · 19/09/2011 09:01

Another one who think that sometimes ,just sometimes what people post on FB isn't gospel.people joke about their drinking
You definitely do not have solid proof!!

warthog · 19/09/2011 09:04

yes, you must tell.

who knows how much she's really drinking? if she obv feels it's ok to drink in public and post on facebook she might be drinking behind the scenes too.

too big a risk to take.

MumblingRagDoll · 19/09/2011 09:08

Solid proof or not,proffesional people need to learn that there is no line which separates their FB life with their real life. People will watch and they wll judge

itisnearlysummer · 19/09/2011 10:19

Just to add my voice to the tell Ofsted.

My CM was reported to Ofsted by someone.

It was a complete misunderstanding on behalf of the reporter and whilst the CM was a bit miffed, the parents were reassured that it was taken seriously and Ofsted did investigate. They were satisfied everything was above board and no further action was taken.

But if it had been serious...

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/09/2011 10:46

You must tell your friend and report it to Ofsted asap. I cant think of any reason at all to do nothing.

chipmonkey · 19/09/2011 11:01

If I saw that I would assume the CM was joking but maybe I'm very naive?
No harm in showing it to your friend anyway.

Although, if I had a bottle of wine at lunch, I would still be pissed at pick-up time so wouldn't your friend have noticed?

Cherrytots · 19/09/2011 11:16

As a CM, we are warned to be very careful about letting a child go with a parent who has had a few drinks after work. The childminder herself should have read the guidelines on childminding plus alcohol. I would show your friend the page and let her decide what to do.

Childminders must not drink alcohol whilst working as a childminder, but they must also consider how the effect of drinking alcohol, maybe the night before might have an impact on their ability to provide the children with a safe and stimulating environment. Ofsted Inspectors do now ask how much alcohol you drink on average and if you take any drugs or medication.

lesley33 · 19/09/2011 11:59

I think you need to stick to the facts and just tell your friend what you read on facebook.

lesley33 · 19/09/2011 12:01

Your friend may know this is a joke for example, and so by only repeating the facts, you haven't put yourself in a position of slagging off someone without proof.

But if your friend doesn't know anything about it, it also means she knows the facts and can use these. Depending on the conversation you can always drop in that you heard once OFSTED don't allow CM to drink.

shemademedoit · 19/09/2011 12:17

Do you know where she's going? Fancy inviting your firend out for lunch...?

shemademedoit · 19/09/2011 12:17

opps. friend.