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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding dress has arrived.....total disaster ( a bit long, sorry)

59 replies

minkymeerkat · 18/09/2011 12:06

AIBU?

My daughter's wedding dress arrived thursday....OMG it was awful.

Ok so you are probably thinking it was ordered from some dodgy web site.

Oh no, personal recommendation from a work colleague, had her mobile number, email address and home address which is local, also supplies a large department store beginning with D. We spoke and emailed on a regular basis. Deposit paid with order, final payment once dress arrived, so paid for.

Dress arrived 6 weeks early, the woman was either happy for collection in store or to our home address. We decided on home as she had promised to bring it herself but then had an email saying it would be delivered by DHL.

So far so good you would seem. Well i've seen better rags thrown away.

It was the wrong colour and wrong material. This was something we had ensured she was aware of, had samples etc. It was made of some type of cheap lining fabric.

The ribbon for tying up the corset at the back was frayed in some places and not even sewn in others.

The whole dress was just tacked together, this is no exaggeration, hem was unfinished, just a cut edge and the biggest issue was the fact you could put your hand through the seams at the side, not just in one place but four.

Also various dirty marks inside. This dress was so badly made that it would not last for an hour let alone the whole day.

So we contacted her and eventually she rang back, meanwhile my daughter in totally devastated and crying and i'm just thinking what the f*ck are we going to do as she gets married in 8 weeks. Woman very apologetic and promises full refund same day. Later we have an email stating we must return the dress via courier and she will refund postage before she will refund. Oh no, I want my money back but also for her to see the dress.

She has collected the dress and we have had our money back. But the upset she has caused is terrible and you know what we haven't been offered anything in way of an apology or compensation. Im not after money but a gesture from her because of this would be appreciated, we were left with 8 weeks to find a dress.

Luckily the fantastic Bridal store where we nearly originally bought this dress have found one for us and it will be here in time.

I wish i could name and shame so this doesn't happen to other brides.

Am I being unreasonable? Have also posted in weddings.

OP posts:
savoycabbage · 18/09/2011 12:33

It does sound like the woman made a mistake. If you had more than one recommendation, and her business supplies a reputable chain store, the seller is obviously not trying to rob you or ruin your dd's wedding day. Perhaps she was mortified beyond belief by the error.

I feel a bit sorry for her. And she rectified it very speedily didn't she?

Original poster
minkymeerkat · 18/09/2011 12:34

I'm upset, it was shoddy service and maybe, oh the shame, i wanted someone to say to me 'Oh that's terrible but glad you are sorted'

It was a shit couple of days

OP posts:
rubyrubyruby · 18/09/2011 12:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stabbystabbykillkill · 18/09/2011 12:36

Were there no fittings for the dress?

Did you not go and see her since you said she was local?

You also, in your OP, said she was very apologetic, so I'm struggling to see how she didn't apologise?

soverylucky · 18/09/2011 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 18/09/2011 12:51

Thank goodness it all happened ín time for you to sort something else out.

Sounds as if it was a "mock up" rather than the dress, but would have thought the woman would have said so if that was the case.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 18/09/2011 12:52

I can see why you were so upset - sounds as if you're letting out the tension from that couple of days when you thought your DD's dress was ruined. Sad

I can kind of see this from a different perspective from some of the posters - I think it is lovely that you care so much about your DD's wedding. You are obviously very tense and you may well look back and wonder why you got so stressed - but, well, people do. Better you are emotionally involved (even if you get a bit mum-dragonish! Grin) than you don't care.

I hope your DD has a beautiful wedding.

DownbytheRiverside · 18/09/2011 13:07

Did you ask her if it was the finished item, or just explode?
It does sound like a mock up, with the final fittings and details to be worked out in partnership with the bride.

diddl · 18/09/2011 13:13

"It was made of some type of cheap lining fabric."

That and the fact that it was tacked, not sewn must mean that it wasn´t the dress?

BupcakesandCunting · 18/09/2011 13:15

YANBU to expect decent customer service. However, if you and your daughter are placing such a great emphasis on the dress (which is both of your prerogative of course, my wedding dress was important to me too) then maybe you should have gone the conventional route of buying one i.e: from a shop. It's just too important a dress to leave in the hands of an internet seller IMO. Your ideas on quality/finish may vary wildly from hers (as it has done here) and I would want to check the dress before I bought it. If I were buying a dress online from somewhere like Monsoon/Debenhams, I would prefer to visit the shop and check it myself first so I know what I am expecting.

Hope your daughter likes her new dress and that everything else goes well :)

BupcakesandCunting · 18/09/2011 13:16

PS I agree that it sounds like the mock-up of the dress, rather than the real thing.

Sunshinenow · 18/09/2011 13:32

I echo what the other posters have said. you do know two versions are usually made. One in cheap fabric tacked together. Then the proper one.

You say it arrived six weeks early - this is almost certainly the mock up. Can I ask, did the fright of seeing it mean you didn't ask the designer to explain?

Either the wrong version was sent or the 'proper version' was still being made. It might be worth checking this - before you trash this designer's reputation (maybe unnecessarily or maybe legitimately - hard to tell without more questions).

ZacharyQuack · 18/09/2011 13:37

OP, could you check with the supplier and see if she supplied the finished dress or the mock-up? If it's the mock up, perhaps you should get your post with the company name deleted?

notherdaynotherdollar · 18/09/2011 13:38

get a grip, its a dress

your daughter isnt dead

MumblingRagDoll · 18/09/2011 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

MumblingRagDoll · 18/09/2011 13:53

Revenge...not revene

RealityVonCrapp · 18/09/2011 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eurochick · 18/09/2011 14:02

I'm another one who thinks it sounds like you were sent the mock up and not the actual dress. You might have got the wrong end of the stick here. But you got a refund and a new dress so it's all fine now anyway.

pigletmania · 18/09/2011 15:03

YABVU. The woman was apologetic and gave your money back, what more do you want her head on a plate! Commonsense dictates that you never buy items like this, unless you have seen the actual dress, too much of a risk. That is why I would never buy something like a wedding dress online.

pigletmania · 18/09/2011 15:04

Don't dwell on it, you have your dd day to look forward to, put it in the past where it belongs and move on.

Pinot · 18/09/2011 15:07

AIBU about what exactly? Genuine question.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 18/09/2011 15:08

Are you a rival of the shop in question?
This seems like a completely vitriolic post about what has been sorted out now

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 18/09/2011 15:09

That made no sense.
The initial thread seemed vitriolic, bordering on hysterical.
Are you a rival wedding dress maker/designer trying to discredit the named shop?

LRDTheFeministDragon · 18/09/2011 15:17

Eh? Where's the other thread?

MumblingRagDoll · 18/09/2011 21:33

I thought that too ripstheirthroatsout! I said it seemed like some revenge thing....but you've hit the nail on the head!