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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a puppy now?

149 replies

CoralRose · 17/09/2011 13:11

This is our current situation:

Semi rural house. 3 bed. Large living space. Large garden, surrounded by fields.

One (very old, very placid) cat.

3 DC:
5yo DS - school full time.
2.6 DS - Nursery two mornings a week.
4mo DS - Errr...dribbles alot.

DH works full time, me not working for at least another 2 years, even then will be part time if at all.

So WIBU to get a puppy now? If I am... how long should we wait?

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 17/09/2011 13:46

RSPCA man also recommended highly getting the puppy socialised early and I would imagine that if you are coping with children and buggies that you wouldn't need the dog getting into scraps with other dogs when out on the lead when you have the kids too. So socialisation would be important.

And the breed too of course would be an important factor which I am sure you would research.

Original poster
CoralRose · 17/09/2011 13:46

Also, we're not talking a Great Dane here, we would like a small/medium dog, perhaps a Spaniel or similar.

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 17/09/2011 13:48

Coral FWIW I don't think you are being irresponsible, you sound to me as if you have really done your homework on this. Do you have a breed in mind, (I'm no expert).

MmeLindor. · 17/09/2011 13:49

I am going against the grain here and saying YANBU.

With the provision that:

  • you think carefully about what kind of dog
  • you are fully aware that you will have to get up nights until the pup is trained
  • you can keep the DC away from the dog

We have a Maltese/Cav mix and she was trained within a couple of weeks (a week is ridiculously understated, mitmoo), has never chewed anything, does not need hours and hours of walking. She is very low maintenance.

Mitmoo · 17/09/2011 13:51

Xpost sorry. I've just had a call from my son, as I told him the dog would be too expensive, his nanny has offered to pay for it. Sorry to hijack your thread but we're in the same boat, now I have one excited son. Why did she say that to him without talking to me first!

The rescue centre had four puppies left yesterday.

I'm not sure about the commitment that will be needed. My son is promising the world right now but it will be different when the puppy has been here for a month, though he adores his cats.

MmeLindor. · 17/09/2011 13:52

ooh, that was naughty of Nanny. Is that your Mum or MIL?

bemybebe · 17/09/2011 13:52

Mitmoo RSPCA told you that they can house train a puppy in a week? Really? Which RSPCA brunch was it?

As it happens, I have trained my puppy in about two weeks. It was two weeks of constantly watching her so that at the first sign of wanting to go I would have wisked her outsied, getting up 3-4 times throughout the night.

I wonder if OP has capacity to do it. It depends on the dog. It is bloody hard work. OP has very young children who are too young to understand how to behave around an animal.

Puppies bite and bite a lot. Painfully. Especially the gun dog breeds that are sold as "ideal family" breeds - labradors, retrievers, spaniels, etc. It is normal behaviour that they grow out from with good training. OP are you prepared for the puppy biting your young children whilst you are teaching the puppy not too? After all it won't be the puppy's fault.

One of the largest (if not THE largest) group of dogs brought to the rescues are those who have been brought into the families with young children as puppies. Think about it.

Marne · 17/09/2011 13:52

Spaniels need more excersize than a great dane (spaniels are very active, great danes are not as active), spaniels are lovely (i have had 2 springers), i had to give up my last springer as i had to move house and it was unsuitable for him Sad, they are great dogs but also great a destroying things and pinching food Grin, would you consider a older dog? so many dogs in recue centers at the moment, most are from families homes (people that just could not afford to keep them or their owners have died), i dont think i would ever get another pup, would much rather rescue a young dog.

Original poster
CoralRose · 17/09/2011 13:53

or possibly a Beagle

OP posts:
beepbeep · 17/09/2011 13:53

we had a 6 months old puppy when we had first DC, she is now 4 and we now DS - 3yrs & DD2 - 1yr. Our dog is a springer spaniel - absolutely mad, but I believe that it has been really beneficial for the DCs growing up with a dog (learning how to treat him, help look after him, show him respect etc), but also think that because he was so young when DCs came along he just accepts that's how our house is. One thing that I think is really important though is that his bed is out of the way of the children (in the garage), he is also fed here and the children are all taught that this is his area and not to go near him in his bed or whilst he's eating.

Have you looked at a Cockerdoo they are supposed to be lovely family dogs.

Good luck x

MmeLindor. · 17/09/2011 13:56

no no no to Beagles.

Lovely dogs but completely nutso. And difficult to train.

Maltese or another "companion" dog would be good, not one that needs lots of walks, like Spaniels or Collies.

Mitmoo · 17/09/2011 13:56

Just passing on info from RSPCA yesterday, I have no experience of house training a puppy mme LINDOR Another rescue centre told me it could be up to a year. I don't know how much depends on the breed, am certainly no expert but researching myself about getting a puppy ATM. My son is 14 but I'm still concerned about the committment it will take especially when you have to think it will be for 10+ years.

Original poster
CoralRose · 17/09/2011 13:56

Oh Mitmoo! Toughie... naughty Nanny!

As it happens, you have reminded me of another reason. My (single and retired) Mum is 10 mins away and will be on hand for dog sitting (already discussed).

OP posts:
diddl · 17/09/2011 13:56

What if the children are ill and can´t be left alone?

We didn´t get a dog until the children were old enough to be left/help out.

beepbeep · 17/09/2011 13:57

I agree with Marne, our dog needs at least 3 miles a day or he is bouncing mad and drives me crazy! Cocker's are smaller and do not need quite so much. However, personally I would not want to rehome an older dog with my young DCs, my opinion is that with a pup you have a lot more influence on it's temperament and the way it behaves. Obviously only my opinion.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 17/09/2011 13:57

I wouldn't do it, they are hugely hard work, you can't really imagine it until you have done it. I've had cats for years and there is no comparison.

Maybe I made heavy weather of it but I found it very hard to do the training I wanted to do on walks with the DC's around, they were 6 and 10 when we got ours. You can teach things like stay, sit in the house or training centre but they don't generalise so you have to teach it in different settings. Then there is all the socialisation and learning dog manners and you have to learn dog language and teach the DC's a whole new set of rules from what you've taught about the cat. And small children can find it hard to cope with the jumping up and mouthing that comes with a puppy.

Our dog is brilliant now she is 2, just what you'd want from a family dog but it took a lot of work and a lot of things got eaten .

Two of the cats accepted her ok, the other one left home and will only just be in the house again two years later.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 17/09/2011 13:57

I'm going to go against the grain a bit here. I think that if you really do plan how to manage a pup and DC then one advantage of having a dog whilst DC are young is that you are pretty tied to the home/school run for a few years anyway so the puppy won't be on it's own.

I have a 9mo Lab, and two DC 6 and 2.7 and while I agree with other posters that it is like having another child, it is do-able.

We split exercise and training so that our Lab has a run in the woods with DH before he goes to work, a more sedate walk with DC and I after school, a run with me once DH is home and a quick walk around the block when I get home from work (I work P/T, mostly evenings)

As I am home during the day, he is rarely left for more than a couple of hours and by the time I am in a position to go back to work F/T then the dog will be that bit older so can be left a bit longer.

It is hard work, and dirty work until they are house trained, but you sound as if you are going in to this with your eyes open. The disadvantages of getting a puppy now will affect you, not the pup so it's for you to consider.

Original poster
CoralRose · 17/09/2011 13:58

No to Beagles? Really? The fact that they are nuts appeals... will fit in with the rest of us Grin. We will be going on a puppy training course too.

OP posts:
BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 17/09/2011 14:01

X post - big No to beagles, totally coco loco.

Original poster
CoralRose · 17/09/2011 14:02

We definitely want a puppy. We have re homed all our cats but would like to 'bring' up a dog. I think re-homing would be too risky for us.

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 17/09/2011 14:02

bemy I'm hardly going to identify my local branch on the net am I? I am only passing on info received from them. Not sure if it depends on the breed or if he was being overly optimistic. He might be right, I have no idea. They were 8 week old Staffies. He did say that was early for them to be separated from the Mum but there were good reasons for that. Apparantly.

Original poster
CoralRose · 17/09/2011 14:03

If the children are ill...Mum can help out.

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 17/09/2011 14:05

Coral I agree with rehoming as you never really know what the dog has been through before and you might have to correct other people's mistakes with an older dog, with a puppy it's a blank canvass.

Original poster
CoralRose · 17/09/2011 14:05

Everything I have read says Beagles are great family dogs though?

OP posts:
BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 17/09/2011 14:09

Just because you want a pup doesn't rule out rescue - lots of pups here (scroll down)

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