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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be seriously annoyed with DSis sending 'all her love'

44 replies

SarahStratton · 16/09/2011 19:21

To the miners' families, on Facebook?

I can't decide. Half of me thinks, well it is an absolutely appalling tragedy, and I do feel for their families and friends.

But, the small, quieter, nasty side of me is thinking, fucksake you don't know these people, it's insulting and attention seeking.

AIBU or not? Confused

OP posts:
worraliberty · 16/09/2011 19:21

Dunno, some people are just like that aren't they?

cuttingpicassostoenails · 16/09/2011 19:22

Some people do like to be part of the drama.

scrappydappydoo · 16/09/2011 19:23

Well I guess its difficult to find words and if you feel you have to say something...

nokissymum · 16/09/2011 19:24

Why does this annoy you so much ? I take it you're not particularly close and perhaps she's not particularly loving either ? Wink

BatsUpMeNightie · 16/09/2011 19:24

YANBU - that kind of thing drives me to the very edge of the red mist of insanity. The miner's families will never know of her comment so in my opinion she's doing it for effect. Twat her one. Now.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 16/09/2011 19:26

Difficult to know. I imagine that messages of support are probably comforting for families - to know that others are thinking of them. However, I'm not sure I would go so far as to seek out a FB page and post - each to their own though.

slavetofilofax · 16/09/2011 19:28

I have a friend that posts that sort of thing, but she is one of teh sweetest lovliest people I know, she really does have a heart of pure gold. If she wrote something like that, which she probably will before the night is over, I will just know that her thoughts genuinely are with the families involved.

I don't see what's so bad about it. This is a tragedy that will probably have made many many complete strangers feel sad, and touched by what happened. By posting it on fb, it's just like realting to thers who might feel the same.

I do realise that some people just do it to be attention seeking, but it's nicer to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Original poster
SarahStratton · 16/09/2011 19:29

No, we are very close and get on well. But, and it is quite a big but, she is a massive dramallama and loves being in on the attention.

I guess I find it tacky.

OP posts:
carpwidow · 16/09/2011 19:30

I think it's modern culture. A local young teacher died here tragically earlier this year and myriad Facebook pages were set up and a lot of the threads started "I didn't know you but....." This annoyed me somewhat, but I'm not sure why? Social network sites encourage this I think and everyone wants to be noticed and like cuttingpic put it "like to be part of the drama"

catgirl1976 · 16/09/2011 19:34

YANBU. Grief tourism. I dislike it.

carpwidow · 16/09/2011 19:38

Grief tourism. Perfect description. Well done catgirl. Go to the top of the class.

aldiwhore · 16/09/2011 19:41

Although I agree regarding the grief tourism, I think sometimes there's an urge to just say something... to acknowledge. I don't feel the need, although obviously its awful for the miner's families and yes, my heart does go out to them in a manner of speaking.

Original poster
SarahStratton · 16/09/2011 19:42

Thank fuck, I was starting to feel ashamed of myself.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 16/09/2011 19:42

YABU to be Seriously annoyed.

But it is ridiculous, these over-emoters.

laluna · 16/09/2011 19:43

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. As my OH walked in tonight from work and announced that all four had died I just took a moment to appreciate what I have. Those families won't be getting their Dads home. Dads that have earnt a hard honest living. Dont think there is anything wrong in posting on FB to make people care and appreciate what they have.

catgirl1976 · 16/09/2011 19:43

Thank you carpwidow :)

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 16/09/2011 19:44

Yes, yes to grief tourism.

Stick some money in a collection for the ones left behind if you must do anything.

ArmageddonOuttahere · 16/09/2011 19:45

YANBU. All that virtual hand-wringing makes me do a little sick in my mouth.

Catsmamma · 16/09/2011 19:46

it's just something to say, to make you think how thoughtful and caring they must be

attention seeking eejits

picnicbasketcase · 16/09/2011 19:46

Just like people wailing and weeping and shouting 'Diana' at the funeral, isn't it? It's possible to feel very sad about these events and feel sympathy for the families involved but you don't necessarily need to show off about it on FB.

hairylights · 16/09/2011 19:47

Here in Wales it's quite culturally significant and brings back cultural memories of very hard time. Lots of my fb friends have posted that they are sad about it and that they sympathise with the families, which I think is fair enough.

picnicbasketcase · 16/09/2011 19:49

That is a good reason hairylights, but there are people on FB doing the same thing when they have absolutely no connection with Wales, mining, any of the people involved at all. Some people do just do it to be seen to do it.

RealityVonCrapp · 16/09/2011 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

laluna · 16/09/2011 19:52

God you are a cynical lot. Some people do really care.

Catsmamma · 16/09/2011 19:53

wants to be a fly on the wall at the big family christmas dinner with sarahstratton and realityvoncrap