to think that this is creepy?

[StickThemWithThePointyEnd]

I was just outside in the garden, enjoying the sun having a sneaky fag and noticed the top of my neighbour's head sticking out over our separation fence. he was just standing there, looking at me, about two feet away. His nose was touching the fence.
I felt unnerved so I said hi. he says 'nice weather, isn't it.'. Yes.
silence.
He continues to stand there and look at me.
A couple of minutes pass, which I spent walking around my not very large garden.
He is still staring.
I go inside, and when I look out of the window he is gone.

Maybe his wife sent him for a time out?

Maybe his wife had in fact decapitated him and was holding his head on a stick above the fence so no one would suspect anything...

flowerista as it happens, we are in the catchment area of one of the country's top performing schools. his kids do not go to it.

Where he was standing is only a bit of mesh wire fence on our side, the tall wooden one is his. I reckon he sprays (no pun intended).
You may also be interested to know that one of his two sheds has a chimney which often emits smoke while the whole shed steams.

Solid that's a better idea than Festis. festi read back they are LITTLE dogs. Maybe they were standing on his wife's back while she was on all fours, but that sounds a little far fetched.

I am morbidly intrigued by the sheds now. Sauna, fish smoking. What colour is the smoke?

Maybe he's practising for when they pick the next pope. If the smoke is white you've won.

it's white. in fact, the whole shed steams when it rains..

I keep staring out of the window into their garden now, wondering what he might be doing in there.

Did I mention he has long hair and a bald spot on the top of his head?

So you actually live in Vatican City OP, No wonder your catchment area is zoo good.

ha, my kitten has actually gone into their garden, his wife said I could just go in through their back gate. he was not amused.

I'm actually fascinated by this man. There was probably an innocent explanation but all I can think is that he must be a murderer.

What does his wife look like?

I agree leftblank he sounds like quite a catch.

I realised reading this thread that I was picturing him to look like drawings we did at school

like this

left you need to add long straight hair on both sides of his head. and he didn't have his hands on the fence, which made him look even weirder..

His wife looks fairly normal, average size, weight and face, with long greyish brown hair.

Do you think if I bring him some aromatics for his shed fire and some trellis for the other, I could be in with a chance stickthem?

Can you make good sheep noises, geraldine?