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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

... to be fiercely territorial about my - clearly labelled - allocated parking bay outside my house?

124 replies

PygmyValkyrie · 15/09/2011 10:07

I've recently noticed that parents on the school run at the school opposite my house have begun to use my neighbours' parking bays as an overspill for the car park.

The first time it happened, I went out and had a word. The guy apologised but looked completely disinterested, then remained there to make a phone call and smoke a fag whilst eyeballing me through my kitchen window after I'd gone back in. My neighbour then came home to find the guy, finally, just leaving.

I've contacted the school, who said they'd send a text message (really? Is this what goes on these days?) to parents to remind them not to do this, but already I've seen it happen again. Doing what everybody always seems to do in this situations, I took a photograph. I am now the proud owner of a photograph of a stranger's car, that I have no idea what to do with.

I've emailed the council. I doubt they'll help, but I'm fuming and I've got to try something.

Is this the behaviour of a normal person, or am I losing it?

OP posts:

birdofparadise · 16/09/2011 11:37

BTW I did NOT meant to imply that people with MH issues are dangerous and threatening....just that people who might break into my house and sit on my sofa might pose a threat. Not really a MH point at all now I think about it.

emsyj · 16/09/2011 11:51

I guess we just have differing views on what is 'harmless', birdofparadise. I don't think it is a positive thing for society to permit or encourage others to take things that don't belong to them so long as nobody is around to protest. The people parking in the OP's space have no idea whether she might be disabled, have a disabled child, about to arrive with a sick elderly relative having collected them from hospital post op etc etc... And they shouldn't assume that parking in her space is 'harmless'.

CurrySpice · 16/09/2011 12:03

But trixymalixy that isn't what happened is it?

It wasn't even the OP's space. And the neighbour whose space it was, wasn't inconvenienced.

So what's the point of getting stressed about a purely hypothetical situation? I have real things to stress me out. I don't need to get het up about things that might never happen

trixymalixy · 16/09/2011 13:57

But the parents have been parking in her spaces too. Have you actually read the thread?

Whether it's a hypothetical situation or not doesn't change the fact that it is rude and selfish to park on someone's private parking space and an inconvenience and stress to the person that owns it.

trixymalixy · 16/09/2011 14:07

And I do not believe for one second that if it was your space that someone else parking in it would cause you zero irritation or stress.

CurrySpice · 16/09/2011 14:29

I didn't say that I wouldn't trixy, I am answering the OP's situation as it presented here. Not with the what might happens. And yes, I've read the thread thanks!

I just can't seem to get as wound up about it as you clearly are. Sorry I can't share your fury, I just happen to disagree.

northernruth · 16/09/2011 14:34

as long as they weren't there when you came back.

That's the key and how do you know that you're not going to be inconvenienced?

I live near a (private) school and it's been such a nightmare that we now have resident's parking, which is a PITA in itself. We regularly had gridlock on the road directly by the school due to all the Yummy Mummies in their 4x4s that they couldn't possibly manage to reverse. People are just too damn lazy to walk two yards

YANBU. Become the local parking Nazi - get the local paper to come and take pics of you looking outraged, preferably with a baby in your arms (borrow one if you don't have one)

Pendeen · 16/09/2011 14:40

PygmyValkyrie

I have glanced through the thread and seen yor explanations but it is still not very clear.

Are the parking bays on a private road with open acces to the highway or completely off the road?

If the former than I can understand drivers not understanding the 'private' part but if they have to drive off the road, on to what is clearly not part of the highway then YANBU.

trixymalixy · 16/09/2011 14:42

But the "what might happens" are important. If someone parks in a disabled space and doesn't actually inconvenience someone, does that make it ok?

As long as there's no inconvenience it's ok is it? .

The person using the space with no entitlement to has no idea whatsoever whether the owner is due back any minute, is disabled, has to carry young kids or loads of shopping in.

They are putting their own needs over the potential needs of the rightful owner and it's rude, selfish and wrong.

GoingForABlog · 16/09/2011 15:03

I understand where you are coming from OP, I live just near a primary school in a cul-de-sac and for about 40 minutes twice a day I can't get into or out of my cul-de-sac.

The parents that drive to where my street is, park the car and then walk the children over to the school. They take no notice where they park and they park so close to the junction, and opposite the junction that most of the time we can't even get off our street.

If I want to go out, I can't. I have to wait for them to get back to their cars. It is beyond annoying.

charlearose · 16/09/2011 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

northernruth · 16/09/2011 17:38

Trixy I don't know if you were replying to me, but I agree with you - that was my point. You have no way of knowing who needs to use that space, and what inconvenience will be caused, so therefore they shouldn't be parking there in the first place.

DizzyKipper · 16/09/2011 20:01

Hmm, I'm actually quite surprised by the number of people saying the OP is being unreasonable, it's her property. What if we changed the setting? The OP is not opposite a school but in a cul-de-sac and the motivations of the people are not immediately obvious, is it still ok? What if it's not a bay but on her actual drive? Is that still ok? I imagine most people would find the idea of some one else parking on their driveway, even if it's "only for a few minutes", pretty horrendous. Why is a bay that is actually private property so different from a driveway? Because a driveway is so much closer to the house, is that all the difference?

We can talk about how the OP should be nicer and more considerate, how it doesn't "impact on her day" so she should "chill", but why are we not questioning the parents who tell themselves it's ok to park on some one else's property because "they're only going to be a few minutes". Who because her bay parking isn't a driveway have made some unconscious decision that's it's less meaningful/important and can therefore be disregarded? They have no idea whether they're going to impact the other person or not, it's thoughtless and selfish, they are the ones in the wrong. I don't believe for a second they can be confused about who the bay belongs to when the house numbers are painted on the road! This also makes it obvious that it is in fact private property. They've chosen to do something that's easier for them regardless of what affect it may have on some one else, that is what's selfish, not the OP.

Personally I never see it as justifiable to park on some one else's property without explicit permission, I'm quite stunned that anyone else could find this acceptable. OP don't worry what anyone else says, you are completely vindicated!

CurrySpice · 16/09/2011 20:02

dizzykipper only 3 people IIRC have said she was BU so I shouldn't get too surprised and outraged

savoycabbage · 17/09/2011 03:01

But you can't park on someone's drive and then be upset when the owner or the house comes home and parks behind you, which is what Mr Scaryteacher did.

Should he have circled the block until the person was finished? Not gone for his constitutional because a stranger was parked on his drive? And Scaryteacher had already asked the woman to move her car.

LaLaLaLayla · 17/09/2011 04:39

I owned my own parking space when I lived in London, and I have to say I couldn't give a flying fuck if parents used it whilst picking up their kids from school.

I think you are being very, very sad.

DizzyKipper · 17/09/2011 06:28

whoopsy - I was just skimming through, I guess those 3 people left a large impression on me (or my shock was that great) lol

CurrySpice · 17/09/2011 08:55

Dizzy it's 4 now so you can feel s bit more shocked now

youarekidding · 17/09/2011 09:23

YABBU at all. I have a parking space like this, numbered clearly labelling it as mine.After a few times of me parking people in and taking my time in moving my car it has stopped. My reply to the people was well you obviously knew it was space because you knew who's door to knock for the car to be moved.

Never knew it was illegal though so guess I was lucky.

TidyDancer · 17/09/2011 10:38

I believe that anyone who thinks the OP is BU is most likely to be an inconsiderate parker themselves. I don't think there's anything anyone can say that would change my mind about that.

It is not acceptable to leave your car on private property without permission. I really don't see how that is so difficult to understand.

Fimbo · 17/09/2011 10:44

Tbh I think unless you have a feasible reason like disability/illness or live miles away/6 kids & 3 toddlers etc, then you should where possible walk to school. Even if it is raining it's not going to kill you.

And I agree wholeheartedly with Tidydancer et al.

Groovee · 17/09/2011 11:13

Our school has parents who think nothing of parking over people's drives. One woman is getting really het up about it as she needs out of her drive at 3pm but there's always some selfish bugger parked over the drive.

Deux · 17/09/2011 11:15

The only way around this is to have some physical means of preventing the parking. I would feel really cross about this as it's just laziness on their part.

I think you and your neighbours should club together and get those lockable posts installed. And don't bother getting dayglo orange ones, get the plain galvanished ones and then anyone trying to park inconsiderately might drive straight into it. Shame, eh.

Deux · 17/09/2011 11:15

Galvanised.

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