to think that all that really matters in love, as love conquers all.

[carriedababi]

people spend too much time worrying about things that don't actually matter imo

that OP is the biggest pile of crap I have seen this evening

Love makes a lot of things more bareable. Love doesn't solve all problems though.

And Gospel singing? Why would I sing Gospel songs, being Agnostic? I'll stick with Abba.

Love and faith are not the same. Love isn't everything. Love alone cannot maintain a relationship.

And sometimes to do real good in the world you need to be a right cold calculating emotionless bastard.

With AF on this one.

"Love makes a lot of things more bareable"

Yes; yes that sums it up very well

"love" is also the cause of many problems in this world

Interesting to see that you are so familiar with everyone's circumstances that you know what a) the parental relationship was like and b) what her life is like!

I think the platitude in the title is part of a pernicious myth, TBH. Unless you're a Mills and Boon novelist, or peddler of romcom films - in which case you probably do very well out of it. It's a very limiting view of life, really, if value and resilience comes only from one type of emotional interaction. It leaves out philosophy, science, technology, finance, business, medicine etc, etc, etc - not to mention the full range of human responses and interactions.

I understand what you mean OP.

For example. I have had some major fights with DH in the past to the extent of packing bags (mine or DH's), but not him or I ever go through with it, and leave the house. I know that no matter what we say or happens I will always love him and he'll always love me and I can rely on him. It's not like we have a perfect life, but you're right, love does make it better, and there is no better feeling than that unconditional love from a companion, parent or your own child where they will still love you regardless of all your flaws.

I think alcohol and money are the cause of many problems in the world.

love conquers all??
thats just a big dirty lie..aswell as a very nebulous statement.
Love of what exactly?
E.G. if the love of money is the root of all evil then love can be either good or bad depending on it's object

What a load of poppycock.

What happens if you fall in love with a drug addict. You might love him and he might love you but he will still be an addict. Or you fall in love with someone bad with money, all the love in the world is not going to make them suddenly change and keep the bailiffs from the door.

Cant agree totally OP.
Addicts come in all shapes, sizes, and happiness levels. The loved up coke addict may be that way due to stress, mental illness etc. They may have the most loved up family in the world and may just want to see what it feels like to get high and enjoy it just a bit too much. Addiction can creep up on a person!
However I do agree that love definitely helps, It's got me through some bad times

Love is often a huge incentive for people to change and want to be the best version of themselves

So the drug addict gets clean and the bad with money bloke suddenly becomes a responsible saver. So how come mn is full of woes from women about their blokes over spending, drinking too much and watching porn?

Or how about the woman who falls in love with a married man ( or vise a versa). The married person decides he /she does love his wife/husband after all and leaves to be with his new love. How is this great love that conquers all going to heal the exes broken heart or comfort the chldren from the now broken home?

"So how come mn is full of woes from women about their blokes over spending, drinking too much and watching porn?"

Because your not likely to get people posting about how great things are; people generally will be posting the bad stuff as they need help & advice.

Loved people become addicts.

True, my brother is loved, always felt loved, was an addict... too many drugs and a dependance on them make people addicts.

Having love from family/partner does sometimes make shit things feel better, but it doesn't eliminate them entirely.

I'm sure a terminal cancer patient is still pissed off about dying prematurely, loved or not.

Similarly, if you're going bankrupt, maybe your loving children staring up at you as the baliffs remove the car/TV/playstation/Lego actually makes it worse than if you're a familyless, childless singleton

Therefore, love does not conquer all, it merely alleviates them (sometimes).

Obviously love doesn't conquer the use of punctuation and capital letters for the OP...

Errrr. Carriedababi, have you ever been bankrupt? Or had someone close to you diagnosed with an incurable terminal illness? Or lost a parent? Or had to cope with a family member's addiction issues?

I have never read so much tosh since I stopped reading my mother's M&B romances when I was 14.

she's so loved up that punctuation is no longer important

Op are you about 13?!!!!!

I'm with AF's response. What a load of crap. Must be nice to have a Mills+Boon eye of the world but at some point it isn't going to cut it!

Agree with Coco on pretty much everything :)

I'm a hopeless romantic, and sometimes all you need is love.

carriedababi Wed 14-Sep-11 23:22:31
"well in this country at least, i do feel it is the answer, as for example i don't really believe that people become drug addicts unless something terrible has happened to them and they also feel unloved unconditionally"

I think you should hang around the teen section a bit more to get an idea of the quite genuine problems very loving parents have with their children. Being loved is not enough if you have a mental health problem which means you can't understand it or feel it. Or which leaves you so stressed and shattered that you start taking drugs to alleviate it. It must be horrible for parents who struggle with these issues to come across ignorant posts like yours.

And not sure it is an entirely healthy message for the many abused women who post on MN either. "If I only make him feel loved enough all our problems will be sorted". No, they won't, because he's an abusive shit and if you act even more loving and conciliating he will think he was right to punch you into submission.

I almost agree with you Carrie, I wish I could agree completely! I like your way of thinking, and I'm guessing you're generally a glass half full type of person.

I'm a huge believer in love, and that it can overcome all sorts of things. In fact I think it can pretty much over come anything except ill health. And my dh is currently bankrupt, and I have lost people to terminal illness.

I think the only problem with loving so much is that it can hurt so much as well. Nothing hurts more than seeing someone you truly love suffer, but it is still better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

I am goint to try telling the tax man today that I unconditionally love him and see if that conquers my tax bill.

I'll let you know how my experiment goes OP

TBH I would love him quite a lot if he waived my bill!