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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be very upset that the teacher keeps throwing my 8 year old sons work in the bin

42 replies

feelingupset · 14/09/2011 13:18

He's 8 and in year 4 and has told me that the new teacher will take his work and throw it in the bin and make him redo it because its messy or because he hasn't tried hard enough. Sometimes he cries or gets cross and refuses so he is then sent out the class. I'm very upset but not sure what to do or if this is normal practise in schools nowadays.

OP posts:
soverylucky · 14/09/2011 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistressploppy · 14/09/2011 13:20

Have a word with the teacher. You need all the facts before you can decide if this is reasonable or not.

I'm not surprised you're upset though, YANBU for that Brew

kat2504 · 14/09/2011 13:20

No I would say (as a teacher) this is not normal practise. There should be some positive comments followed by a target to improve the work. Asking for a re-draft is fine sometimes but it has to be done in a nicer manner than that.
I think you should be having words with the school, partly to get both sides of the story as you don't always get the full picture from kids, and also to explain to the teachers that he is becoming very upset about this.

Mitmoo · 14/09/2011 13:21

I've heard of teachers like this and do not believe that you teach children by destroying their confidence. She is going to have one angry little man on her hands, he'll be in trouble and the teacher won't see it is her or him.

I'd go in tell her or him to stop, let them know that it destroying your son's confidence and if that doesn't work see the head.

Failing that wait until he/she leaves work and tell them every night they are totally useless at teaching until they get to see how it feels. Grin

juuule · 14/09/2011 13:22

I would speak to her as soverylucky said. However, I would also ask that she didn't throw his work in the bin. Ask if he can bring it home with him. Then you can see where he needs help (along with her advice) and he doesn't have the upset of having something he's worked on thrown in the bin. If he's tried and it isn't up to scratch then it must be very upsetting for him and could even put him off trying at all.

ReindeerBollocks · 14/09/2011 13:23

Surely his work should not be binned so that when he improves you can actually see it?

It doesn't sound right to me, and more importantly, your son is getting upset and angry by it, which will not help his concentration or ability to learn.

Speak to the teacher today if you can.

hiddenhome · 14/09/2011 13:24

Sounds like mental abuse to me Hmm

Doodlez · 14/09/2011 13:24

Oh, same thing just happened to my 8 year old DD (just entered Yr4). Teacher ripped page out of book and threw work in bin because DD hadn't underlined the date! Dunno the full and real story as only have DD's account but struck me as odd! DD is no angel but she's not deliberately naughty about her work either (or hasn't been so far!).

I'm just listening out for any more episodes before I do anything like going in to talk to the teacher. A one-off isn't enough for me to go in and 'do battle'!

ConstanceNoring · 14/09/2011 13:24

Sounds like a teacher at my school - thirty years ago . No it does not sound normal practice at all, quite the opposite - don't they have to tip-toe round telling a child that what they've produced isn't actually very good? I though that was more the current practice.

I think you need to arrange to speak to the teacher about it to get the full picture.

Either way throwing work in the bin in view of the child is just wrong.

Backtobedlam · 14/09/2011 13:27

I'd be really upset about this to...yanbu. I would personally be going into the school and meeting with the teacher to find out why your son is being treated like this. Maybe his work is a bit untidy and the teacher thinks its because he's rushed/not tried hard, but how could a teacher possibly know this so early in the term? Even if this was the case there are so many other ways it could be dealt with. This is really confrontational and there are so many other ways (that won't knock his confidence) to get the point across

Teachermumof3 · 14/09/2011 13:27

Eek-no this isn't normal practice.

Have a chat with the teacher. If you do it in a 'X has told me that this has been happening, but I'm sure that can't be true-can it!?' way-you are approaching it in a friendly way.

Is it a private school or state?

Oakmaiden · 14/09/2011 13:35

My daughter's teacher did this once (she was in Yr 2). I complained to the head, the teacher got severely reprimanded and her target setting was assessed. And I got an apology. Admittedly the reason she tore up my child's work was that my child had done TOO MUCH, which was really crazy.

However, I have removed my children from the school and sent them elsewhere, rather than have my son in her class this year.

Original poster
feelingupset · 14/09/2011 13:38

I didn't think it was right and like mitmoo says i'm worried he's going to become a very angry boy. I agree he should be doing his best but that she should be encouraging him. The teacher has been there many many years.I think im just worried I may upset the applecart by mentioning it and make things worse for him but I know I need to for his sake. I think i'll make an appointment to see how he's settling in and go from there. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
feelingupset · 14/09/2011 13:39

It's state school

OP posts:
IfoundmyGspot · 14/09/2011 13:51

I wouldn't speak to the teacher at all, it could make things worse if the teacher is a total dick...go straight to the head.

LDNmummy · 14/09/2011 13:55

DH is a teacher as are many of our friends and this does not sound right at all.

Go in and find out exact details as this sounds very harsh and demoralizing for your little boy.

PissesGlitter · 14/09/2011 13:56

WTF get in there and get this sorted and if she/he is a dick and does it again go to the headteacher

LDNmummy · 14/09/2011 14:01

I would speak to teacher directly bit with a next in seniority present to witness all communication and to make a third party aware.

LadyDangermouse · 14/09/2011 14:02

If the teacher throws it in the bin, he does not have his original draft or original version to look at and compare .... how on earth is he meant to improve?

Surely the teacher should very kindly say to your son: "That's nice, but this bit needs a bit of work" .... or "Do you think you could add more words / colour / description" ..... etc etc.

Then give the item back to your son, for him to re-do it either at his desk (if still in class time), or at home.

SandStorm · 14/09/2011 14:05

If you're worried about upsetting the apple cart why don't you go and ask to see your son's work. Then, when the teacher can't produce it, ask her where it is and take it from there.

exoticfruits · 14/09/2011 14:05

I have never done that to a DC. I might say to them 'do you want to have another go and throw that one in the bin?' because very often they know they can do better and want a fresh start.If they don't want to- then we would discuss how it could be improved-possibly writing things over it and letting them type up a neat copy. I would take kat2504's advice.

BeerTricksPotter · 14/09/2011 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PootlePosyPerkin · 14/09/2011 14:18

I'd be furious if that happened to one of my DCs Shock. OK, by all means ask/tell the child they need to redo the work if you don't feel they have put in enough effort or if the work is of a much lower standard than you know they are capable of BUT the way it sounds like your DS's teacher has gone about things is just horrible. I agree totally with whoever said it is mental abuse Blush.

I'd go straight to the head too as the teacher presumably will see no wrong in what they are doing.

Ormirian · 14/09/2011 14:21

Of course you must speak to the teacher first. It mgiht well be the sort of Chinese whispers that 8yr olds are so good at. Going straight to the head will piss the teacher off even more as it implies you assume that she is in the wrong without giving her a fair hearing.

ErnesttheBavarian · 14/09/2011 14:49

I hate this 'go straight to the head' nonesence.

first, if you have a problem with somebody, you should at least have the courtesy and the guts to speak to that person directly.

Only if you are still dissatisfied should you seek to take it further.

In any other situation you would initially try to speak to the person with whom you have a problem. As if the head should directly deal with every single problem of every single child/parent in the school.

Not to mention of course the possibility that wires have been crossed/there's a misunderstanding of some sort or a rational explanation.

Just to be clear though OP; no way should the teacher be chucking dc work in bin like that. But you need to find out, through a calm conversation with the teacher directly, if this is the case. Ideally also make an appt, rather than just turn up, esp at a busy time.

When my ds started at a new school, he was being made to re write pages of stuff. We moved countries, so he was in effect 1.5 years behind his new peers. He was in the 1st class in his old school, and hadn't even been taught to write yet, then moved in basically a 3rd year class where all the kids were writing cursive with fountain pens. I found out, went in, explained and said I didn't want him re-writitng anything. teacher on board, hadn't realised the situation (lack of communication), all sorted with no upset and no blazing guns.