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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that DH & I weren't invited to lunch?

36 replies

PollyPeppa · 13/09/2011 21:40

My mum, her step daughter, my brother & his GF all went out for lunch at pizza express today.

I called Mum this morning as we were going to pop round with some things for her, we chatted for a while and she said she was going out for lunch with someone very vaguely & changed the subject.

We usually all go out together and I just feel a bit left out TBH. Only found out they all went out as we drove past them coming out of the restaurant.

OP posts:
amIbeingdaft · 13/09/2011 21:42

Hmm, that's odd. There'll be a reason. have you phoned your mum and asked her why?

KittyFane · 13/09/2011 21:43

:( ask her why when you next see her :(

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls · 13/09/2011 21:43

Firstly aren you sure they were all together and hadn't accidentally met up there?
Secondly have you got anything big coming up? Birthday? anything that they may have been surprising you?
Thirdly - do you usually have a good reltaionship - sounds like they don't usually not include you?

KittyFane · 13/09/2011 21:43

X post

DoMeDon · 13/09/2011 21:44

YABU to be annoyed - they can all choose to lunch with whoever they wish and you have no 'right' to be invited.

Having said that, if you usually all go together and have been excluded, it is odd and I would call to ask about it.

CrackerFactory · 13/09/2011 21:44

You must ask your mum so you can stop worrying about it. I am sure there is a good explanation.

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 13/09/2011 21:45

Maybe your mum was going to meet someone and invited the others along as a last minute thing?

Original poster
PollyPeppa · 13/09/2011 21:46

I texted her with a phone number she asked for and on the end added that I saw them and did they have a nice lunch, she simply said yes, it has been arranged since last week.

TBH it's not so much not being invited more the fact she didn't mention it to me Confused

OP posts:
SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 13/09/2011 21:48

Oh not last minute then. I would just text back something casual like 'It's a shame you didn't tell us we'd have joined you if we'd known' and see what she says.

DoMeDon · 13/09/2011 21:54

Don't text - it's the road to nowhere - phone and ASK her.

Original poster
PollyPeppa · 13/09/2011 21:56

I don't really want to talk to her right now, maybe an overeaction but I just feel a bit Sad that she didn't tell me. Our DS would have loved to see them all and tell them all about his first day at nursery yesterday

OP posts:
pleasenap · 13/09/2011 21:57

I would feel quite hurt by that tbh if you live in the same area. Was anyone else (immediate fam) excluded from the gathering? Could be a good reason for it though - so only way is to ask your mum about it directly.

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 13/09/2011 21:57

but there might be a perfectly reasonable explanation and you won't find out if you won't talk to her.

DoMeDon · 13/09/2011 21:57

Can you think of ANY reason you weren't invited then? Maybe they wanted adults only lunch or they don;t see each other as much as you or thought you'd be busy. is best to calm down - you're entitled to your feelings Smile

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 13/09/2011 21:58

And phoning is probably better but I would feel silly phoning to ask why someone hadn't invited me somewhere. I'm braver over text.

Original poster
PollyPeppa · 13/09/2011 22:02

Have just spoken briefly to my mum, I said it's a shame we would have like to come too, she said my brother had asked her and she it wasn't her call to invite us ...although she did invite step sister herself...

OP posts:
SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 13/09/2011 22:04

That's weird she said she couldn't invite you but could invite your ss. Do you get on with your brother?

DoMeDon · 13/09/2011 22:05

Maybe he wanted some alone time with his mum? Step back. I would spend time thinking why it makes you feel so bad that you weren;t invited.

Hope you feel a bit better.

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls · 13/09/2011 22:05

How old is stepsister?

Original poster
PollyPeppa · 13/09/2011 22:08

She's around our age, a bit younger. Yes DB and I get on really well but my mum is a bit of a manipulator

OP posts:
irrationalfury · 13/09/2011 22:19

Yeah it's sounding more and more like your brother had something he wanted to say.

Back off a bit, don't try to guilt trip your mum. If it's unusual then it's fine - to be honest my parents leave me out of every single family occasion and it hurts like mad, so I am probably a bit jealous that you're used to being included.

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 13/09/2011 22:29

I think you need to speak to your brother to see if he has an issue. If not then it could just be an oversight. Maybe he thought your mum would ask you and she thought he would.

banana87 · 13/09/2011 22:31

I would be annoyed. Why couldn't you come/why weren't you invited? YANBU to have had your feelings hurt.

thisisyesterday · 13/09/2011 22:31

if i invited my mum out for lunch i'd find it a bit odd if my brother had a problem with that.
I suspect he would feel the same if it was the other way around too...

warthog · 13/09/2011 22:34

maybe they're arranging a surprise birthday party for you.

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