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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To give my 18 year old DD 3 months to find a job in her chosen career and if she cant then to apply for anything,

97 replies

ShakeTastic · 10/09/2011 19:12

Hello, My DD thinks iabvu but I do not.

She finished school (after 2 years in sixth form) in may, She worked very hard and came away with 3 A levels, 2 A's and a C, the 2 A's were in health and social care specializing in The early years, apparently this means she has a level 3 in childcare,

Since she finished school she has been looking for a job working in a nursery, She has had no luck even though she has applied for many as although she has the qualifications, she has no experience,

It has now came to the point that as I am on a low income myself and get no money for her anymore she has had to claim jobseekers this week, I do not want her on this any longer than nessasary but she had to as we have had to inform the housing of what she is doing as I get housing benefit,

I have told her that she has 3 months to find a job either within a nursery or similar and if she cant then she will have to apply for whatever is available (shop work, call centres etc) she is not happy,

Obviously I want her to be in job that she has trained to be in and wants to be in but the way things are none of us can be choosey and have to take what we can get,

Aibu?

OP posts:

Quintessentialist · 10/09/2011 20:00

Realistically, with only A levels and no further education, how likely is she to find a "dream" job? Could she apply in shops? Has she considered waitressing?

LynetteScavo · 10/09/2011 20:02

I also think that she should volunteer to gain experience, but it can take 6 weeks or so for a CRB check to come through, so I would advise her to ask around asap.

LynetteScavo · 10/09/2011 20:04

Quintessentialist, maybe her dream job is to work in a baby unit of a nursery. Not great money, but it must be somebodys dream job.

ihatecbeebies · 10/09/2011 20:07

OP since your DD is claiming job seekers allowance would she be able to apply for housing benefit to cover her share of the rent?

sjuperwolef · 10/09/2011 20:07

she should have taken it upon herself to find any job whilst she looks, she sounds to be a bit precious if she is unhappy at the suggestion she works any job. loads of people are in jobs they hate - why should she claim a benifit just because she cant get into her dream job right now? who is to say she will at any point in the next 3-5 years?

Original poster

ShakeTastic · 10/09/2011 20:09

She hasnt received anything yet but will det £100 per fornight, I have told her I expect half of this for her keep ( this includes all I have previously paid for ) what she has left will pay for her mobile contact, fares, evenings out, any extras that she wants)

I am hoping that now she has to report to the JC every 2 weeks that they may put more pressure on her as I think the longer she is not doing anything then the harder it will become.

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 10/09/2011 20:13

Are you in a position for her to get a part time job waitressing or in a shop, and then do some volunteering? Also, get her to stick an ad on netmums and gumtree offering babysitting services.

Has she considered spending a year as an au pair? It can be a great experience, living abroad, gaining some independence while still being looked after by a host family, and she will then have a year of solid childcare experience when she applies for nursery jobs next year. I started out as an au pair and now (several years later) have a foundation degree in Early Years and work in a Children's Centre.

pointydog · 10/09/2011 20:16

Isn't that what the Job centre does anyway?

Spuddybean · 10/09/2011 20:20

I work in uni's advising and assisting grads find internships/work. We have so many who wont do a job if it's not what they want, but then have employers complaining about those who have gaps on their cv.

It is much easier to find a job if you have a job. You look like someone willing to 'muck in'/not be precious, you develop other transferable skills ie people skills and admin, you get used to work (which takes a while) and understand tax etc.

Also a question asked in interviews is what are you doing at the moment. Young people think the interviewer will be impressed at their single minded drive in their chosen field if they say, 'nothing i have been holding out for my dream job'. But in actual fact you look unrealistic and like you will need lots of looking after.

Much better to say 'while i've been waiting for my dream job, like this one, i am working at ... where i have learned .... these skills are transferable and i am not the type of person who likes to sit around and do nothing, i want to contribute to society and be around people who i can learn from'

You can PM me if you want any more info i may have.

joannita · 10/09/2011 20:30

She sounds v intelligent - could she not do a teaching course for primary specialising in early years? It may be too late to get on this year but she could get experience in the meantime and also get another part time job eg bar work whilst doing voluntary stuff. Ultimately teaching pays much better than nursery work and she sounds like a great candidate.

missymarmite · 10/09/2011 20:31

YANBU. If more parents put their feet down early, maybe fewer young people would end up spending a lifetime on benefits. Just because someone is 18 doesn't mean they are mature enough to understand the value of ANY job in building a career.

Volunteering is a good idea. I started volunteering as a classroom assistant after school. Several years later that experience still counted to help me get my current job.

Oakmaiden · 10/09/2011 20:33

Ideally she should try to get work as a volunteer in her chosen field, and get herself a part time job stacking shelves or something whilst she is doing it.

However, she is an adult and you can't actually MAKE her - just encourage strongly.

Spuddybean · 10/09/2011 20:40

joannita you need a pgce to train as a primary teacher. She would usually need to go to uni (next year now) for a 3 year course, get a 2.1 or above ideally, then do a 2 year pgce.

By the sound of the OP finances are a factor so this may not be possible.

RitaMorgan · 10/09/2011 20:42

PGCE is a one year post grad course. She could do a 4 year education degree that leads to QTS though.

Spuddybean · 10/09/2011 20:45

Yes sorry, for some reason i was thinking of teach first.

SnapesMistress · 10/09/2011 20:46

The problem with volunteering is that it can affect your jobseekers. They don't like it really and if you must do it you can't do more than 16 hrs a week or they stop your benefits.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 10/09/2011 20:46

£50 a fortnight isn't going to go far especially with Christmas on the horizon. Hanging around the house and the computer and sending off applications only to nurseries may lead to her becoming become demoralised and demotivated by the lack of positive response she receives.

As per Rita's suggestions, has she put notices in shops/supermarkets etc and on gumtree/netmums offering her services as a babysitter/mother's help to give her some hands on experience, and is she applying to want ads on those sites and in local papers?

If you're in/near a city, she should be able to pick up some bar work to supplement her income or perhaps she'd consider working in a retail outlet that specialises in clothes/toys/equipment for under 5's or similar while she searches for her dream job?

It's also likely that the longer she's not doing anything the harder it's going to be for her to adapt to a working routine. Three months is on the generous side; I suggest you give her a month and encourage her to get out there and visit the establishments she'd like to work in and ask if they'd take her as an intern or volunteer so that she can gain experience.

Particularly in today's economic climate, your dd will need to be proactive in order to get any job.

joannita · 10/09/2011 20:50

Spuddybean - There is more than one route to becoming a primary teacher. I know because I was a teacher myself for many years. You can do a 3 year degree in education which incorporates teaching practice so then you don't need to do a PGCE afterwards.

Also a PGCE can be done in one year and usually is. If you know someone who did it on 2 years, it was probably part time.

Please see:

www.tda.gov.uk/get-into-teaching/teacher-training-options.aspx

for different options for getting into teaching

givemushypeasachance · 10/09/2011 20:51

From my peripheral experience jobs in childcare are usually not that thin on the ground - there's often a high turnover of younger staff so positions come up regularly. If she's got no experience then she has to appreciate she'll be starting on the bottom rung and will get the early starts/late finishes, the cleaning and tidying, etc but if she's got good grades in the qualification then she should be able to move up to supervison and management roles pretty quickly. Is she applying for the entry level nursery assistant roles or is she aiming too high in her applications? The law says you need to have experience to work in nursery management roles so she has to be realistic.

I definitely echo the posters who advise volunteering as a great way to get a foot in the door. If she gets on well at a nursery they might then offer her bank work, and she'll be first in line to put her name down for any proper full time positions that come up.

joannita · 10/09/2011 20:53

Whoops

A B Ed is usually a four year course anyway it's worth thinking about

Spuddybean · 10/09/2011 20:57

joanita thanks, i said usually need to go to uni then on to a pgce (but thats normally for those who have done an unrelated course and want to convert to teaching), I was thinking of the 2 year teach first course tho (as it's on my mind at the mo') when i wrote my previous post.

I work in Uni's advising on graduate recruitment and also trained to teach many moons ago

As i said tho, if finances are a factor maybe uni isn't an option in any form.

Merrin · 10/09/2011 21:00

Agree with FabbyChic.

joannita · 10/09/2011 21:03

Maybe uni is not an option straight away but you can get student loans and financial help from the institution you choose and if she works for a few years she could try to save up and also gain some life/work experience. It just seems to me that with such outstanding A level results she could have a career in her chosen field and earn a lot more in the long run as a teacher.

Anyway, she might be fed up with studying and want to start real life. I don't know.

SansaLannister · 10/09/2011 21:06

Sounds completely reasonable for you to charge for her keep as you say you are low-income and can honestly not afford to keep her now you are no longer receiving CB and tax credits.

She doesn't want to go to university, fair enough, but she needs to do something.

Original poster

ShakeTastic · 10/09/2011 21:11

sjuperwolef she is defo not precious She know's that any job is hard to get but I do not think that giving her a chance to get into the area in which she has studied intensly for the last two years is that bad,

I have given her 3 months, I believe that after 3 months the JC tell you that you have to widen your search also,

I just want her off JC and in full time work, preferably in childcare but if that doesnt happen then anything is better than nothing,

Just finding it hard getting her to see that

OP posts:

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