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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my DC home alone to go to the gym?...

63 replies

Hatesponge · 08/09/2011 20:40

I have 2 DC, 10 and 13. I am a lone parent and work full time. I am also trying to lose weight (almost 4 stone down this year but still another 3-4 stone to go), hence the need to do more exercise, which is where the gym comes in.

There's a gym next to my office which is currently running a v reasonable membership offer. To get my money's worth, and some actual health benefit, I'd need to go 3 or 4 times a week.

I can't go after work as I often work til 6pm, and need to go straight home to pick up DS2 from his childminder (on the days when my Ex doesnt collect him) and/or to make the DC's dinner.

I mostly work through lunch or have meetings - I probably could do 1 lunchtime a week at the gym, 2 at best.

So the only other time I could do is before work. But this would mean leaving the boys at home from 6.45am (I normally leave at 7.45am, they leave 10-15 mins later to walk to school).

AIBU if I do this?

OP posts:
KittyFane · 08/09/2011 20:42

Sorry but I think yes YABU. I would run up and down the stairs at home instead. The 10 year old is young. Sorry :(

MumblingRagDoll · 08/09/2011 20:43

People will say it's fine but the fact you're doubing it tells me a lot...10 is very young and it's night time....will they have been fed o are they likely to start frying bacon?

FabbyChic · 08/09/2011 20:44

A ten year old with a 13 year old is fine. No problem at all providing they can get themselves up and ready and to school no problem at all. Far better in the mornings than at night.

Bear in mind though that it will be a struggle for you you are going to have to shower and change before work.

Three times a week at the gym is enough.

meditrina · 08/09/2011 20:45

Can you trust them to leave on time, turn everything off every time, and lock up properly every time?

I'd be more worried about the safety of the house than of the DCs!

miniwedge · 08/09/2011 20:45

Depends if they are sensible enough to get themselves ready and out for school on time and with everything they need, ie pe kit etc.

Dd is just 11 and I left at about that time for work two days this week before school term started. I woke her up before leaving and she took herself to childminders at about 9.

She is v sensible though and has been spending the odd hour or so at home on her own for about 6 months ish.

She has a mobile and knows what to do and who to phone in various situations.

JellyMould · 08/09/2011 20:46

I think it's fine in the mornings, with a 10 and 13 year old. They'll be asleep for half of it.

mercibucket · 08/09/2011 20:46

Save your money, buy some trainers n take up running. It's much more flexible and you could go out for half an hour after work and on days when kids are at their dads

G1nger · 08/09/2011 20:47

Personally, I'd get an exercise bike. I'd also be most worried about them locking up properly (and leaving the house at all).

TotemPole · 08/09/2011 20:48

Can't you plan to go on the days that your ex does collect him from the CM?

Prepare dinner the night before and just heat it up.

ChippingIn · 08/09/2011 20:48

Well - they have been doing fine so far getting themselves off to school and locking up properly (well I assume so!), do you think they are able to get themselves up, showered, ready for school and on time if you aren't there to chivvy them along?

I think 10 & 13 is just about OK to do this - especially as they've been partly doing it for a little while.

Congrats on the weight loss and your continued determination to lose the rest :) You are doing really well

Awomancalledhorse · 08/09/2011 20:48

If you're already leaving them alone for 10-15mins a morning & they're getting to school on time then yanbu!
I guess you could 'trial' it before you sign up for the gym, leave at 6.45 & if they are late to school then rethink?

Could you not go to the gym more lunchtimes?
Is there a gym nearer to you that charges a similar amount (just thinking about the unused membership when it comes to half term etc)?

fatlazymummy · 08/09/2011 20:48

Personally I would be fine with this, if you trust them to get ready and go to school. That is what would concern me, not actually leaving them alone for that amount of time.

HeavyHeidi · 08/09/2011 20:50

of course it's fine, they're old enough.

Awomancalledhorse · 08/09/2011 20:50

Or going on what mercibucket said, get you & the boys some trainers & rope them into keeping fit/running/cycling/etc with you?

Congrats on the weight loss so far!

sevenoften · 08/09/2011 20:51

If the gym were 500 yards down the road, and you had a mobile phone on you, and you could ring every 20 minutes and check, and you could be home inside 120 seconds, then I think that would fly. But if it's at work, and that's 10-20 minutes away, then you have no way of getting to the children in an emergency until far too long has past.

Too young. Sorry.

Orangesarenottheonlyfruit · 08/09/2011 20:52

I second the getting trainers and starting running. You'll tone up and lose weight faster and you can go in the evenings.

I would be most worried about them getting themselves breakfast and getting to school in time, could be a recipe for disaster!

FabbyChic · 08/09/2011 20:52

13 is not too young, thats a teenager.

My 13 year old used to look after his 8 year old brother when I went shopping I was only gone an hour.

And theoretically that is all the time the Op is talking about, an hour.

If their uniform is ready for them, their packed lunches and bags ready at the door whats the problem?

FredBare · 08/09/2011 20:52

you already dont see them until gone 6 of an evening, i think you would be out of order to rush off and leave them first thing each morning as well

ChippingIn · 08/09/2011 20:53

Is the general level of comprehension going down in this country or just on MN - they already lock the house up!

FabbyChic · 08/09/2011 20:53

Too much running is dangerous. I'd not take up running, I saw my friend sick for two months and wasting away to nothing because she ran too much, she became addicted. She had the constant shits, and had to have the emergency doctor out, it causes too much strain on the stomach.

Oakmaiden · 08/09/2011 20:54

I don't think 10 and 13 are too young at all. My only concern would be - will they get up and sort themselves out from school promptly?

G1nger · 08/09/2011 20:55

My partner does just fine at running... Running IS hard work, though.

TotemPole · 08/09/2011 20:57

Do they get ready without prompting when you are there or do they fight and you have to intervene?

HeavyHeidi · 08/09/2011 20:57

exactly chipping. so it's just an hour in the morning, during which they have to get dressed and eat breakfast. a 10 and a 13-year old should be able to manage that without adult supervision.

niceguy2 · 08/09/2011 21:01

The key questions are:

Is the 13 year old mature enough? Is the 10 year old able to keep out of trouble for a couple of hours under the watchful eye of the 13 year old?

My daughter was trusted at 13 to look after her 9yr old brother and 3yr old stepbrother so my partner & I could go training. The responsibility has not done her any harm.

The only thing I've learned though is you need to explain to the kids that whilst you are away, the eldest is in charge. That means what he says goes. If the youngest feels his brother is being unfair, he can complain to you later and you will deal with it.

Otherwise what you end up with whilst you are away is the youngest saying "I dont have to do what you say, you are not my mum/dad" and then going out or not stopping what he's doing and potentially that could be quite dangerous.

Don't succumb to the whole you can't leave them for a moment until they are 37 mentality. As long as the 13yr old is mature enough, you should be fine to enjoy a couple of hours of training.