To leave my DC home alone to go to the gym?...

[Hatesponge]

I have 2 DC, 10 and 13. I am a lone parent and work full time. I am also trying to lose weight (almost 4 stone down this year but still another 3-4 stone to go), hence the need to do more exercise, which is where the gym comes in.

There's a gym next to my office which is currently running a v reasonable membership offer. To get my money's worth, and some actual health benefit, I'd need to go 3 or 4 times a week.

I can't go after work as I often work til 6pm, and need to go straight home to pick up DS2 from his childminder (on the days when my Ex doesnt collect him) and/or to make the DC's dinner.

I mostly work through lunch or have meetings - I probably could do 1 lunchtime a week at the gym, 2 at best.

So the only other time I could do is before work. But this would mean leaving the boys at home from 6.45am (I normally leave at 7.45am, they leave 10-15 mins later to walk to school).

AIBU if I do this?

I'd opt for a 30 min run from home at say 06.15 to 06.45. You'd be back in time to get all of you ready for work/school....plus it's free.

Why can't you go at the weekend twice - then twice in your lunch hour during the week and possibly one evening per week..?

What time does the gym open in the morning and what time does it close in the evening?

I personally wouldn't leave them, but I'm not saying it is wrong.

Could you go at the weekend? At our gym children are allowed in but not actually allowed on the equipment. I'm wondering if an option may be to take the 10 year old with you at the w'end (or at 6/7pm) if there was somewhere he could sit quietly. Do homework or play on his ds or something like that?

They are on the whole very sensible, if slightly lazy boys. They certainly wouldn't start cooking when I wasn't there, far too much effort when they can have a bowl of cereal instead! And they are fine at locking up etc.

My main concern I think is that at the moment I get them up and make sure they are dressed etc and ready to leave before I leave myself. So for the 15 mins or so they're at home currently all they are doing is finishing breakfast, packing schoolbag, that kind of thing.

I'd have to wake them up earlier if I did start going to the gym (neither of them are up til after 7 now) because I know if I didn't they just wouldn't get up. What also worries me slightly is that they would go back to bed after I'd gone, esp when it gets colder in the mornings.

if i were you i'd run in the morning - you'll only be away 30mins and you will be back to leave at your normal time.

i suggest if you leave them for an hour in the mornings at their ages and getting older they'll struggle to get up in time and often sleep in... as teenage sleeping sickness sets in...

To be honest if somthing happend between home and school you wouldn't know for hours and I am sure the school would not be impressed to know you let them get themselves to school so you could get to the gym

Wake them before you leave. Then when you get to the gym, phone them to check they are up and getting ready.

Make sure clothes, bags and everything is ready the night before.

If you can manage 1 or 2 lunch times, then it would only be 1 or 2 mornings a week. I think it would be ok.

If you're not 100% happy with this, don't do it. I do not think you would necessarily be unreasonable to do this because it depends on all sorts of things (where you live, neighbours who could be contacted by your kids, distance to school etc) but the very fact you're posting in AIBU tells me that you're not comfortable doing this.....

Could you not all go out on a bike ride together each night, or park further away from work???? Is there a breakfast club at school?

I also need to up my exercise, my kids are considerably younger than yours but I do understand how difficult it seems to fit exercise into your day... I do DVD's, Just Dance with the kids, we go for a walk after school everyday, and if I use the stairs, I run up them... its all I can do at present, but if I really sit down and think about my day, I have to admit there are minutes where I could actually get my heart rate up!!

Agree on the Shred - or some other home fitness DVD to your taste. The Shred is quite good actually for an early-morning routine, not too long and gets me energised for the day.

In terms of going to gym more at lunchtime, it's really difficult. This week I've been in for 3 days and had 2 lunchtime meetings, I have 2 more booked for next week. And I need to work through lunch on some of the non-meeting days to get everything done. So 1-2 lunchtimes a week would be the most I could manage.

There are a couple of gyms near-ish to where I live, but one is v expensive. The other is cheaper (though still more than the one near work), but about a 35 minute walk from my house (I don't drive), I would only have time to get there at weekends.

but maypole - something could ALWAYS happen between home and school, and you wouldn't know. Or are you suggesting that we should never even let teenagers walk to school on their own?

I'm not saying your kids aren't old enough (depends on the kids and how mature they are) but I'd say that the very fact you're asking on here means you have doubts yourself about leaving them. I like orienteerer's idea. Running is free, you could do the Couch25K programme early in the mornings then be able to go home and get ready before work. You could also get a couple of workout DVDs and do them either first thing, or when the kids are in bed to ring the changes.

I'm a single parent and joined a gym when I worked full time. Even though it had actual childcare facilities at the gym, I hardly went - too many things prevented me from going regularly, such as working late, DS being ill, just too knackered and so on. It was such a waste of money that I cancelled the membership. I now run and do the Shred DVD at home and tbh I prefer it's flexible, plus I don't feel guilty for wasting money if I don't exercise, like I did if I missed the gym. I'm also planning to go swimming more often to the cheap local pool when the weather gets worse. Could you consider doing those kinds of activities if you're unsure about leaving your boys?

fabby you need to make your mind up........... on monday you said to me * And you all wonder why your kids grow up too fast, want to do things that are beyond their years like shagging and getting pissed.

it is because they are made to grow up too fast.

Plenty of time for children to get up and do things for themselves when they are 15, ten fucking years old jesus.

Trying to get him off your hands so you have time for your baby when it is born.

That sucks. * in response to a thread about my making my 10 year old get be responsible for getting himself to school on time with me being there, now you are saying it is ok and that a 10 year old should be able to do it without anyone being there to even check?

To the runners among you:

Is running enough to tone me up? I have some wobbly bits, mainly tops of arms/thighs/stomach - would running help with this? I was thinking I'd need to be on some sort of exercise machine (weights, cross trainers or whatever)

I apologise if this is a v stupid question! :)

Hatesponge get the 30 Day Shred, it's great for toning up as you use handweights in a variety of exercises. Then vary that with running, so you are mixing cardiovascular exercise and strength/toning training.

Going to the gym at lunchtime is a faff not going to happen.
Well done on your weight loss I am a runner so can answer some of your questions.

Running is fabulous for toning your legs, its also the quickest and cheapest way to burn calories. It won't however do anything for your arms or stomach sadly . I have just done a half marathon and decided to cut back on the running a bit and do more weights. I have bought Ageless Beauty ( because I'm ancient) but its pretty good because it has 15 min segments so easy to fit in for specific body parts. If you are running then you would only need to do the arms and stomach one.

I have a bit more time than you but find running is great because you don't have to make a special trip to do get there and if you go in the morning you would be having a shower anyway. I have a gym membership as well, primarily to take DS to his swimming lessions and find that I only use it for the treadmill if its raining as classes are badly timed for me, also I get bored so much quicker just running.

You would need good trainers, ideally get yourself assessed at a running shop, good bra and I love my heart rate monitor because it lets me know if I am working hard enough or too hard even and tells me how many calories I have burnt up.

Why not give running a try for 2 months if it isn't working give the gym a go, I bet they will still have the offer on or if you ask them will give it to you as they are always keen for new members.

You could easily go for a half hour run and leave the dc's in the morning, then get back to have a shower and check on their progress in getting ready for school, before leaving for work.
I would be worrying all day about whether they had remembered their lunch, got there on time if I left them at 6.30.

If you feel that they will cope ok then go to the gym.
I go to a gym regularly, I don't do any exercise at home, well apart from running around after the kids, housework, gardening etc. but I have a much better work out at the gym.
Running is great but I don't have the motivation to go alone.
What ever suits you best. Bear in mind though when would you feel like doing a home dvd type work out.

Now being somewhat tight frugal, I'm thinking running (free) plus DVD (say £10) is about £90 cheaper than joining the gym for the next 3 months...and also avoids the angst about leaving the boys to get themselves up and to school.

So I could run say 6.30am-7am, home in time to get boys up as normal. I'd feel happier tbh leaving them home and then coming back. Least that way I'll know they're up, organised and ready!

I do ring them 2 or 3 times in the morning anyway to check they've left on time/made it to school etc. I think my stress levels would be far lower if I'm not having to ring to check they're up, and it'll be a lot easier for them to just carry on as we are.

I think I may have made my decision!