to think that no-one knows how to hold a knife & fork anymore - YOU DON'T HOLD THE KNIFE LIKE A PENCIL

[Proudnscary]

...It doesn't make you look 'ladylike' when you hold your cutlery like knitting needles/pencils with a stupid pinchy grip. It makes you look like a pleb.

When, pray, did this momentous change take place and WHY??? I see it everywhere and it makes me worry for the future of our children who will all look like cack-handed imbeciles if they grow up to eat like that.

I know people watch and judge but I really don't care! So nerrrrrr (Ooooh get me! I'm like a maverick! A loose cannon! I don't play by the rules!)

I haven't starved yet and the world has yet to stop spinnning so I think I'll carry on...

YABU to think that no-one knows how to hold a knife and fork

bubbaluv my DP (a buyer) is being taken out for dinner by his suppliers next week. It is a £20million contract. DP has appalling table manners, am sure his suppliers won't mind when they stand to make a good fortune and DP hasn't been instructed by those higher up to judge the supplier based on how they hold their wine glass!

My parents were very hot on table manners when we were growing up and it was drummed into me not to hold my knife like a pen and that it was "common" to do so. I guess it's all relative, this common-ness, given we were in a council house .

The elbows on the table thing, my grandmother used to say that it was a sign that you were communing with the devil. Still struggle to put my elbows on the table.

I did once spend a holiday in a lovely hotel where lots of Americans were staying. Meal times were a really eye-opener. All these lovely looking, well groomed women and men attacking their food like they were in the bush. So much switching cutlery, sawing, hacking. It did seem really uncouth. Do Americans not learn how to use cutlery properly?

Haha- bubbaluv - "Never bring a cross child to the table"... I think this means my youngest will never eat again

I have to go to US several times per year on business and it always includes dinners. And the eating goes like this:
knife in right hand, fork in left. cut 2-3 pieces. put knife down, change fork to right hand, eat the named pieces. Change fork to left hand, pick up knife, cut..etc.

Why, why?? It's so....busy. And so much trouble. Surely it's easier to keep both utensils in the respective hands? Or is this supposed to count as exercise?

Bit tangential, but at what age is it good to start children on the proper way to hold cutlery?

We haven't concentrated on this so far as DD has just turned three, but we have got her to put fork and knife together on plate in proper order when done.

(Haven't been able to stop her shoving plate towards us and shouting "FINISHED!!" yet, though)

Ooh thanks those for posting links to show what I meant!

Fantastic - NOW dear God, start now! Or she will be coerced by the pencil/knife holding brigade and all will be lost.

I am one of those strange people who likes to see people eating with knives and forks 'properly'. It pains me to see my B/F as he tends, at best, to use just his fork. He also has a habit of picking up bits of food and dipping it around his plate ie Yorkshire Puddings he will tear up then dip in the gravy. He also 'rips' up steak. I cant bear to look at him while he eats.

My Mum has also adopted the American way of eating which really bugs me as we were constantly berated as children about out table manners.

DS is...... coming along, but does know hoe to use a knife and fork, left handed though

I hate it. Although my parents in law describing people as 'A little bit H.K.L.P' is even worse (Holds Knife Like Pen).

I will occasionally eat fish and chips outdoors with one of those little wooden forks....I think I use it left handed, gripped a little like I grip on pen. With my right hand supporting the meal underneath. But I must confess I have not given much thought to this matter previously.

oc Thu 08-Sep-11 14:41:13
I dont get your problem. Why does it matter to you how people choose to eat. There are also people who choose to eat with their fingers. Are savages???

Er, yes.

The title of this thread made me laugh. I went on internet date once with someone who said to me, while I was eating lunch: "I am so pleased to see you hold your knife correctly". I laughed. He said; "You may laugh, but you'd be surprised at how many people don't know how to use cutlery properly". He was surprised that I didn't want to see him again...

I think it's probably a good thing for people to know what is considered to be "correct" in any particular culture, so that they can adopt this fashion if they wish to in formal circumstances. However, it does all depend on circumstances in my opinion. There is nothing wrong with eating fish and chips out of the paper or eating with your fingers or leaning with your elbows on the table in an informal setting. It's like knowing when to keep the swear words out of your conversation I think.

I was always told that by watching the way a person held their knife and fork showed their true background. Those who held it like a pencil, which is incorrect, were from a working class background....very snobby i know!!! I have tried to hold my knife and fork like this just to see what it is like, and impossible to control and cut up food easily!

I once ate a dessert in a restaurant with a knife and fork instead of spoon and fork I thought the pie crust was easy to cut through, but no-one seemed to have noticed. Bet the waiter thought things, though!

Lots of people do the fork only thing these days. It is a bit annoying. And I hate noticing people not holding their knives properly. It makes me feel bad. Who cares. And the proper way??? Says who.

YANBU.
Its one of my pet peeves.

Good Lord, is it really?
We must be bored!

It's good to know I've been judged and found wanting for the way I hold my cutlery. Not sure that going to a top uni and then profession from a working class background is actually a crime. Perhaps it should be. I'm glad the upper classes will always find a way to exclude the 'wrong sort' whatever their personal achievements are

Left handed people such as myself were often called cack handed. Nice to know I'm an imbecile for holding my cutlery in whatever way feels comfortable

I know it a zombie thread and all that...

Hahaha I had no idea there was a right or wrong way to hold a knife!! What a bizarre thing to concern yourself about? I am left handed and always use my knife and fork 'incorrectly'. I also remember being humiliated by my guide captain, shouting at me in front of all my peers(16 odd years ago!) for laying the tables for dinner back to front during a weekend camp. I will always remember that and feel bad about it, I do so hope you comment on your friends ways of choosing to hold a knife and fork.

• hope you do not comment on your friends

My parents always used to put me down in front of my mates and their friends by calling me cackhanded lille and laughing at my attempts to eat properly or use scissors. School was a nightmare too.I've never forgotton the humiliation either. Hardly anyone bats an eyelid these days if you are a leftie but 30 odd years ago was a different picture and terms like cack handedness still rankles

this is a little bit wrong, but not as wrong as the OP means. I am searching for a pic of that but unsuccesfully - maybe they know its wrong and aare not willing to be photographed!!

this is a bit like it too

and this

maybe I will have to get DD to demonstrate as it gives her the rage