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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking some people are judgmental tits and should think before speaking

51 replies

inthehead · 08/09/2011 07:02

Was on a seaside holiday with the family a few weeks ago and this still makes me go Hmm.

I was in a shop on the last day and the kids were spending their fiver for a little something for the end of the holiday. They were buying some sort of magic putty stuff and I was in the sweets aisle, seeing if there was any rock or anything for gifts. They finished and then came to stand with me whilst I rifled through the sweets. I dedided they might like a sweet too, as a treat, and there were some great pez's on the shelves.

A woman (slimmer than me and rather prissy) was in the aisle with her kids. I was knee deep on sweets by this stage and clutching all sort, trying to decide. Her kids were looking at the sweets too. She looked me up and down with a pantomine sneer and said loudly to her children "well, I suppose you can have one thing as you havent had your piece of chocolate yet this week, have you".

Thing is, I may be slightly heavy (I have gained a bit of weight after a running injury a few months back) but little did she know, Im a nutritionist and specialise in paediatric nutrition and my kids eat a great diet (as do I)...stupid cow.

OP posts:
ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 08/09/2011 07:10

She was feeling smug, her children were probably envious of your more relaxed attitude. [smile

itisnearlysummer · 08/09/2011 08:07

Yes, but by the time your children are 12, they will be hugging you and telling you how much they love you and their life and hers will be threatening to punch her "face in" and screaming that they hate her.

How do I know?

Because I am you and a friend of mine is this slim, prissy woman. Wink

mumblejumble · 08/09/2011 08:07

Arf, I would have trumped in the aisle and looked her up and down waving my hand under my nose......

Rowena8482 · 08/09/2011 08:09

She looks at you and sees a plump woman holding half her body weight in sweets and obviously about to buy some and give them to her kids, and you heard her and decided she was a stupid cow - who's worse? For all you know she's suffered from an eating disorder for years, is psychologically fubar when it comes to food, and allowing her kids the one piece of chocolate a week is a major milestone of triumph for her, and she worries desperately that her issues will damage her kids...

mumblejumble · 08/09/2011 08:10

Yes, Rowena, but no need for the pantomime sneer is there...

SecretSquirrell · 08/09/2011 08:11

How DARE she be slim?

If she was fat, would you have mentioned it?

And You are paranoid and more than a little bit U.

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 08/09/2011 08:11

YANBU

I would have smiled at my kids and said 'Extra chocolate kiddies?'

Arf at the trumping.

Original poster
inthehead · 08/09/2011 08:13

Oh come on, the loud parenting was definitely for my benefit

OP posts:
SecretSquirrell · 08/09/2011 08:13

itsnearlysummer, what rot.
Mine are all in teens and weren't allowed many sweets at all and none of them has ever threatened me.

You aren't actually suggesting that the way to avoid being attacked by your children is to overload them with junk, are you? Hmm

SecretSquirrell · 08/09/2011 08:14

Do you care?
I couldn't give a shiny shit about other people, their kids or their attitudes.
try it, it's most liberating. Grin

CogitoErgoSometimes · 08/09/2011 08:18

YABU... Judgemental, possibly. Showing off, certainly. It's a popular technique, I've noticed, to speak very loudly in public places when reinforcing ways in which they are 'a great parent' with 'superior children'. In the supermarket they'll be asked to fetch "SOME CHERRY TOMATOES FOR YOUR SNACK WHEN YOU GO TO GENIUS VIOLINIST CLASS ON SATURDAY"....

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 08/09/2011 08:24

High horse much SecretSquirrel? How wonderful for you that you don't care what other people think.

MardyBra · 08/09/2011 08:28

I'm fat and my kids aren't. They eat choc in moderation. They shouldn't be punished for my screwed up eating patterns.

The difference is that I try not to use food as a reward like my parents did. Or make them finish everything on their plate.

I'm trying to make sure they grow up with a balanced attitude to food. Like you OP. This lady sounds like she has issues which she may well pass on.
Yanbu Op. It sounds

MardyBra · 08/09/2011 08:29

Sorry went wrong at end of post

Pinot · 08/09/2011 08:31
AlpinePony · 08/09/2011 08:32

YABU to think people don't judge. You are also BU to think people don't do it vocally.

Hope you enjoyed your sweets though. :)

JodieHarsh · 08/09/2011 08:32

I think that this is in your head, OP, and that the woman barely noticed you.

Shall I tell you why I think this?

You say you have gained weight since a running injury a few months ago.

Therefore, a few months ago you were running frequently, enough to injure yourself, suggesting you have been in the habit of taking a lot of vigorous exercise.

If this was only a few months ago I doubt you would have gained enough weight to be overweight enough for it to be something perfect strangers would spot at a distance and comment on.

I think this says a great deal about how much you regret your injury, hate not being able to run, and feel lethargic and overweight in comparison. You are projecting these new insecurities into a stranger.

There. Anyone else for some penetrating detection and psychological analysis? Grin

Fluter · 08/09/2011 08:34

YANBU. People are incredibly judgmental based on looking at you. But I think it is their insecurity rather than anything else. And it just makes me laugh and amuse myself by winding them up :)

An example - neither to do with food or kids.

The day after my mum's funeral - about ten years ago. I was knackered, looked like I'd been pulled through a hedge backwards, was wearing jeans that definitely needed a wash, and had dropped a friend off at the railway station for her to go home. Dad had decided straight away to sell the family home, (mum's funeral was two weeks after she died) and since I was in town, I decided to arrange for one of the estate agents we'd listed (the sort that don't touch houses under 3/4million) to come and value the house & discuss how they'd go about marketing the house. Went in, and got a very snooty look up and down from the pristine woman in there who asked what I wanted(!). I explained, and she disappeared into the back to find someone else, closing the door behind her as she did. A few minutes later, she comes out, accompanied by someone who is actually hiding his business card in his hand in case he thinks I'm not worth it.

I explain we have a 4 bedroom family house to sell (just for a little more background - my GF bought the house for about £1000 50 years previously, and since then the area had changed massively - it became 'footballers row' for a load of Premiership bods - and prices were at their max. Cue us looking rather bewildered for about 10 years in the middle of WAG country!), but deliberately leave out exactly where it is, and am also rather vague about other details as I watch their reaction. Eventually I relent, and tell them the exact location, and suddenly they're all over me as their little brains work out the commission and the ease of selling the house.

They didn't get the sale. It went to a lovely chap who behaved like a sensible human being.

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 08/09/2011 08:36

You dropped this, Sherlock.

SiamoFottuti · 08/09/2011 08:37

Wow you are paranoid. And apparently a mind reader as well. If she judged you at all, you have more than made up for it in judging her. Perhaps you should think before you post?

Gay40 · 08/09/2011 08:37

I get this a lot, because most of the time I look like an overgrown scruffy skaterboy, but it generally means I can look round the car showroom etc largely unbothered by sales folk. Gets a bit annoyng when they start banging on about car finance though when I'm paying outright (and they don't believe me)

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 08/09/2011 08:38

If people thought before they posted, there'd be no need for an AIBU section!

JodieHarsh · 08/09/2011 08:41

Thank you SayCoolWatson, my dear fellow.

madam52 · 08/09/2011 08:42

ROFL at Cogitos 'Genius Violin Class'.

What always slays me is when they discipline them in that show off way too whilst throwing their voice in pantomine manner.

'No, you cant have any sweeties because you have not been a good girl/boy today and didnt I tell you what would happen ? and doesnt Mummy always mean what she says ? yes thats right she does ! and can everyone at the back hear what a wonderful ,completely in control mother I am.

madam52 · 08/09/2011 08:57

Thats brilliantGay and I love that scene in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts goes back in snooty shop but this time armed with Richard Geres credit card and theyre fawning over her. Brilliant.

I actually walked out of a job once announcing I didnt need to work (I genuinely didnt at the time had been recently left a lot of money) - you would have paid good money to see these self important little middle managements faces who had been piling no end of crap on me presuming as I was low down the greasy pole I was a pleb who desperately needed her job. Completely gobsmacked and disempowered the instant I said 'Ta-Ra'.