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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking some people are judgmental tits and should think before speaking

51 replies

inthehead · 08/09/2011 07:02

Was on a seaside holiday with the family a few weeks ago and this still makes me go Hmm.

I was in a shop on the last day and the kids were spending their fiver for a little something for the end of the holiday. They were buying some sort of magic putty stuff and I was in the sweets aisle, seeing if there was any rock or anything for gifts. They finished and then came to stand with me whilst I rifled through the sweets. I dedided they might like a sweet too, as a treat, and there were some great pez's on the shelves.

A woman (slimmer than me and rather prissy) was in the aisle with her kids. I was knee deep on sweets by this stage and clutching all sort, trying to decide. Her kids were looking at the sweets too. She looked me up and down with a pantomine sneer and said loudly to her children "well, I suppose you can have one thing as you havent had your piece of chocolate yet this week, have you".

Thing is, I may be slightly heavy (I have gained a bit of weight after a running injury a few months back) but little did she know, Im a nutritionist and specialise in paediatric nutrition and my kids eat a great diet (as do I)...stupid cow.

OP posts:
madam52 · 08/09/2011 09:01

I actually went back for my final wage slip etc in a brand new car, dressed to the nines, couple of expensive pieces of jewellery etc etc - again faces priceless - hehehe.

madam52 · 08/09/2011 09:02

Sad - but I've spent it all now so am a pleb again but hey ho Grin

SecretSquirrell · 08/09/2011 09:06

I'm sure it must only be on Mn that people are sneered at in public or looked up and down with pantomime disdain.

Either that or some posters live on permanent TakingOffenceandimaginingslightswheretherearenone Alert.

So what if she thought you were a shit mother? You thought she was.

madam52 · 08/09/2011 09:06

I'm a happy pleb though Grin

< *Madam realises at this point she is talking to herself cos she has apparently killed the thread but is enjoying herself so what the hell Grin >

madam52 · 08/09/2011 09:08

SecretSquirrel - Hiya !

[relief]

madam52 · 08/09/2011 09:13

And I saw that look SecretSquirrel Grin Grin

SecretSquirrell · 08/09/2011 09:15

Then work on your self esteem.

How can you care what a complete stranger may or may not think of you?

sausagesandmarmelade · 08/09/2011 09:20

Good grief....

By your reaction I thought she had personally attacked you...but it seems that you are the one who is being judgemental and offensive (not her)

She's entitled to bring her kids up as she likes....as are you!

KittyFane · 08/09/2011 09:22

I hear this kind if thing often- it's code for "I am a fab mum and my children are all sooo healthy and happy"

slavetofilofax · 08/09/2011 09:24

YANBU, my dc love pez sweets on holiday! You can't get them where we live, so they are the staple holiday treat!

The point is, that if you don't allow your children access to food that is bad for them, they don't learn to make their own healthy choices.

If you allow them one square of chocolate a week, of course they will learn that lots of chocolate isn't healthy and you shouldn't eat too much of it, but being told something is not the same as learning it for yourself.

My 8 yo is allowed treats, and because they have never been some amazing forrbidden item, they don't hold that much excitement, and he will now easily stop himself from eating too much rubbish because he has made his own choice about eating healthily.

KittyFane · 08/09/2011 09:26

YABU if you took offence but YANBU if you just thought FFS, shut the F up woman.

IMO

KittyFane · 08/09/2011 09:33

BTW, next time, try saying loudly to the DC
"Remember you can only choose 5 things, we're going to McD's for lunch don't forget"
Pah.

CoffeeRevel · 08/09/2011 09:38

Madam 52, love it, wish I could have done that!

OP, I'm not sure this was necessarily about your weight, I bet you haven't put that much on. Some people are just really precious about sweets and controlling what their kids eat, and some of us are more relaxed. This woman sounds overly controlling to me, and really offensive at that. Regardless of her personal thoughts on the matter, there was no reason for her to be so rude. I'd have been furious too.

Honeydragon · 08/09/2011 09:39

I would have judged you both for being in my way to the sweets and posturing when I had money to spend on crap holiday treats.

Mind you dh was quietly debating the merit of berating a gentleman who was clearly disapproving of my discipline methods on holiday. dd wouldn't get in the high chair or a chair to eat her lunch so I ate mine while she had a cry. I reminded dh that she wasn't bothering anyone, the noise was minimal and it is a free world, which means the guy was entitled to

a) his opinion
and
b) to be a dick

SiamoFottuti · 08/09/2011 09:47

all those people who are convinced people are looking at them and judging them, either have such low self esteem that they think everyone is against them, or have such over-inflated egos that they think anyone could give a crap about what they are doing. Or an odd mixture of both.
They're just not that into you.

itisnearlysummer · 08/09/2011 09:51

secretsquirrel No of course I'm not!

It was a flippant remark inspired by ONE person I know and this is the situation she has found herself in as a result of micromanaging and controlling her children to the point that they are lashing out in frustration - verbally, not physically.

And she is that person who makes rather loud disparaging comments about other people's parenting, to their faces and doesn't see why she shouldn't if they're doing it wrong! And she's quite happy to tell them that too!

I don't feed my kids junk and I do have an opinion on what they eat, I just don't feel the need to comment on stranger's behaviour too.

SecretSquirrell · 08/09/2011 09:52

Grin SiamoFottuti

Honeydragon · 08/09/2011 10:13

SiamoFottuti

I agree with you but in my case, the clue was the finger pointing Wink

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 08/09/2011 10:19

On reflection, OP should definitely have , waggled finger at prissy woman and said, 'Oh no you di'n't sista'.

:o

KittyFane · 08/09/2011 10:30

Siamo
To take this person's comments to her DC personally is one thing ( IMO not personal) but to think that this person, with their oh so correct, megaphone parenting is annoying- is another matter.
I can't bear the 'no darling, no sweets, you had a chocolate button last Friday' brigade.

brokenmarrow · 08/09/2011 11:10

defensive comments much Hmm easy to see who falls into which camp here with regards to sweetie/chocolate eating Wink

SiamoFottuti · 08/09/2011 13:24

Why would you care what anyone else does with their children? Why would anyone?
You don't think its a bit hypocritical to complain about feeling judged and then say "I hate people who do X"?

Hi pot, this is kettle, I just called to say you're black. Hmm

porcamiseria · 08/09/2011 13:27

next time give her a dirty look and say something! better to speak up at the time than fester afterwards

"are you looking at me your prissy cunt"

sometimes I rough ole chavs have a point.......

RudeEnglishLady · 08/09/2011 13:29

"are you looking at me your prissy cunt"

Grin
porcamiseria · 08/09/2011 13:31

i tend to snap at people and have the odd agressive little spat, not often

reading threads like that, I feel vindicated!

better out than in!!!!

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