AIBU to wonder what activities/attributes/attitudes/acquisitions/attir e mark a person out as definitely middle class?

[PhylisStein]

I have just returned home from a Boden clothes party where I drank Prosecco and talked about house prices!

Am I middle class? How can I be sure? What else would mark me out as middle class?

Do I need more than one sort of houmous in my fridge at all times?

mumblejumble I know a lot of people in your situation. My editor for one.

She looks at me (big brash cow from a sink estate) with my DC in private school and my house in the country and is puzzled. The world as it should be is turned on its head.

worrying about class!

4x4s scream footballers' wives. Decidedly not middle class. Chavvy, in fact.

paws I could have written your post (other than the 4x4 bit ).

I don't think you can change class. And to be honest I don't want to.

I read the broadsheets, listen to radio four, have horses and a vegie patch. MY DC attend indie schools, speak with cut glass accents and chug down Innocent smoothies as if they're the elixir of life.

But. I don't have the MC angst. I don't worry endlessly about salt intake, reading ages or spending a bit of time in the sun. I like fast cars, beautiful clothes and tins of Quality Street.

Life is good.

I'm a class traitor too in that my two oldest children are at private school and we have a very comfortable lifestyle. But I have to admit that I still sneer a little at the fleets of 4 x 4s in the school car parks and the endless competing over cello lessons and fancy holidays

I think you can also be Middle Class and sneer at that sort of thing :)

I think the people we are looking at here are those that desperately want to be Uber Middle Class, to "Win" the game - whatever they perceive it to be.

And there are 4x4s and 4x4s.....one cannot wear Boden in anything less than a Posche :o

Well, I am distinctly genteel crumbly middle class, and sneer inwardly at 4x4s (genuine farm transport excepted), fancy holidays and such like. They all seem to me to be positively common.

I measured the distance between school and home. I even hired a measuring wheel. The staff at Waitrose know us all by name. I am defintely not middle class though.

They fill up their tank instead of just putting 20 quids worth in

worrying about class is not classy!

I have to say that being Scottish, I have never really known such obsessiveness about class until I move to england where lots of people are concerned about having the right clothes/car/house/furnishings alot more than any of my scottish friends. they say class is a british thing, but I would say IME it is more of and English thing.

I think we are probably MC with WC roots on my side. However we have few trappings of wealth, but put value on manners, education, generosity, friendliness. I will pay a bit more and eat less often free range meat, will save for a nice holiday in a not so touristic area- but would not brag about it. I have a modest income and a small mortgage on my home, have no debts. I live within my means. I think I am sensible. My kids will attend the local schools and if they are nto a good fit we will see where we are then, no moving house for us, what a compromise!

Where I live, MC's are mainly of the Guardian reader, lefty, arty variety:

Always glamp, never camp

Deeply respectful of anyone from an ethnic minority. Hate the white working classes.

Kids all look like GAP models. Mums look like Boden models. Dads look like teenagers and have skateboards

Mum's have tattoos - usually a butterfly on the ankle or shoulder blade

Noone works in public services. Most describe themselves as 'creatives'

Judge people on looks, not personality

Mass blanking in school playground

Kids names: Django, Arlo, Tizer, Mollie, Biba

When I first moved to London 2 months ago I went to a friends house for a catch up. She made me a cup of tea and asked me if I wanted 'Soya Milk or real milk?'

I was speechless, the chances of anyone asking me that in Sunderland is approximately less than zero.

My other good friend here doesn't even have proper teabags, just green tea and the people she babysits for only have Earl Grey (and they went to William and Kate's wedding, I shit you not!)

So I think it is your tea-drinking habits that mark your class. My 'Tetleys with milk and 2 sugars' habit puts me firmly in the working class bracket meself

paws and wordfactory, me too.
I find the whole Tuscany/4x4 thing ridiculous but the kids eat decent food, we have a tv we rarely watch and would never have tvs or computers in bedrooms.Never have seentv reality shows, Simon Cowell shows etc. House full of books. Education top priority, indie schools after state primary, but don't give a stuff about grades or going to university or music lessons, just want the DC to enjoy learning and be with other children who love learning.We could afford a flashy car but ..why would you? I am five mins walk from a Waitrose,but can't stand it, prefer to drive 10mns to ASDA. Designer clothes, no interest - prefer clothes from ADSA, M&S, Primark,Sainsbury's - no discernible difference in quality.

Today I have come to the conclusion it is about nametags. I have never seen so many threads about nametags.

I use a pen - working class
Nenny embroiders the names by hand - upper class
Engage in pointless debate whether iron-on is better than sew-in (I'm still not really sure about the distinction) - smug middles.

Bakelite - love that about no-one works in the public sector - its the same here, except they aren't arty creatives, they are lawyers and accountants with a few entrepreneurs thrown in. Also have that judging on looks thing, and the acceptable look is Elizabeth Hurley / Elle Mcpherson.

Bakelite so very, very true. We even have those ones in Scotland.

A better question would be - why are the British so obesessed with this shite?

Milkandwine - cup of tea here comes with menu - "builders'" (ordinary tea with milk and possibly sugar) herbal or green. Interestingly coffee is coffee i.e. Nescafe .

I think that there can be a lot of reverse snobbery at play as well. People often like to claim that they are working-class despite having gone to Uni, owning large homes in affluent areas, driving fancy cars etc. I often feel like a cuckoo in the nest... My friends in the area where I live went to private schools, skiied since they were 2, talk with mouths full of marbles and think of me as that straight-talking, no-nonsense "scheme wean". My family who still live in that same scheme take the piss out of me for being a bit of a "snob" in time-honoured lighthearted, never let anyone get ahead of themselves Glasgow style. You cannae win!

Feeling my MC status slipping as I read all this fab debate ............

WHAT IS A SCHEME WEAN?!

It's different here in America too, I think. Since there is no aristocracy the classes are structured differently.

Starting a class thread on mumsnet gets you lots of MC points though. As does being on mumsnet!

It's easy. If I can't afford something it's vulgar.

Even google doesn't want me to know what a scheme wean is.

mass - thing is, no matter the education, the proessional jobs, the trappings DH and I just don't feel MC. When we do things that are so middle class we exepect the Sunday Times to put us in the supplement, we laugh our arses off.

Also we do certain shit that no self respecting croc wearer would ever do...including swearing in front of the DC (the really norty ones too), loving big expensive fast cars, enjoying x factor and Twilight, eating in front of the telly.

You swear in front of your DCs?

:o