Aibu or a bit pfb?

[JoannaGlumley]

My DP flies a microlight and is really pushing to take my DS who is 2.6 up with him. I am not so keen but he's accusing me of being over cautious and pfb so I am after some opinions.
The microlight is just like a very small plane so is enclosed and he wouldn't need a helmet, he would be strapped in. DS has sat in it lots of times and taxied round with the engine off and hasn't seemed bothered. My main problem is that normally he hates loud noises, I can't use the Hoover, hairdryer, blender when he is in the room. It would only be a short flight but I'd worry that if he started kicking off he would distract DP. There also wouldn't be anyone to comfort him.

I also worry that he doesn't really get that the plane he sits in is the same as the planes in the sky so while he can recite the words 'the plane goes up in the clouds' he doesn't understand and it would be a huge huge shock.

So what do you think as I really am being made to feel like a killjoy? And what age would you let your kids go?

I've name changed so I can show this to DP and he can't see my history!!

The thing is, it is a risky thing to do but the payoff is the amazing feeling and tremendous views and adrenaline buzz. I don't think a 2yo would get any of the payoff tbh. He simply wouldn't get it. So it's taking a risk because your husband wants bragging rights. So, no. Selfish of husband to want to.

Although though there have been improvements in recent years, microlights do not have a good safety record - hope you've got dh insured to the max.

You are not being a killjoy or suffering from pfb syndrome as Mr Glumley is a stoopid twat to even think about taking his ds up with him. It could traumatise his ds for years, which no doubt would be the opposite effect to what he's hoping for - namely, a ds who shares his love of flying.

At 2.6 your ds is way too young for 2-seater planes of any kind. My pa had a Beagle Pup back in the 70's ; at age 8 we were clamouring allowed to accompany him on short flights but we didn't get to loop the loop with him until we were 12 - once was more than enough for me.

his dad can stop and they can get out yeah, right - at 1000ft+ above the ground Dione? Even if a young child doesn't have a problem taxi-ing around the aerodrome with a noisy engine running, it can be one helluva shock when the aircraft leaves the ground and, once committed to take off, it can be some considerable time before it's back on terra firma again.

Even in a commercial aircraft, ten minutes with a severely distressed and screaming child can feel like eternity - for us and for them.

My DS is nearly 10 and I wouldn't like the idea even now. So nooo.

I am usually one of the first to say 'pfb' but not in this case. You can fly a plane, you can look after a toddler-you can't do both safely.

I think it's a bad idea if he's distressed by the noise. If you were sure he'd enjoy it I'd say go for it. But it sounds like he wouldn't so, YANBU.

Absolutely no way on earth!

Your DP must be bonkers to think this is a good idea!
Apart from being dangerous and scary what does he think your ds will gain from the experience?
I wouldn't be happy with my dc's going in one ever - esp not just so they can be 'shown off'.

I agree about the screaming toddler in a microlight being a bad idea, but...

[rant warning]
For all the people talking about risk - in the last 25 years there have been 60 crashes in the UK, with 80 people killed. In that same period around 62,500 people have died in collisions in motor vehicles; so I hope none of you let your children go in cars if its 'risk' you're worried about...
[rant over]

Was looking forward to telling someone they are being pfb but it is not to be.

YANBU. I wouldn't let my child go at this age. He doesn't understand risk at all and can't conceptualise what will happen. Leave it until he is older - at least 5 or 6 I would have thought, depending on what is legal of course!

There are more cars on the roads than microlights in the air.

Those stats are meaningless Neils, unless you express them in a 'deaths per 10,000 trips' type way.

Ooh definately not!

Also car trips generally have a purpose whereas microlight is just for fun.

Of course going into a car is a risk,and yes a great many people die in them, but it's often a more necessary risk,and one with built in safety systems,and one travels on the ground in a car. I'd rather take my chances,or that of my toddler,on the ground than a few hundred feet up in the air.

Plus 60 crashes over 25 years might not be all that much in that context,but I'm sure there are far fewer microlights,and microlight pilots in the UK than there are vehicles and drivers.

There are risks to everything,going downstairs for example,and we take calculated risks all of the time,but this really isn't worth the payoff imho.

yep - no purpose to this that I can see, just mis-placed pride. Get him to wait a few (many) years until the child can get something positive out of it

No frigging way would I let my DCs go! Your DP is being a tool if he keeps pushing this.

YANBU. Keep saying no!

Hell no.

If you crash in a microlight you definitely die, presumably

Unfortunately the CAA stats easily available lump all air travel together. The deaths per passenger mile result in air being about 60 times less likely (per mile to cause your death).

Not that I'm saying that 'risk' should determine everything you do (I commute to work by bike and that's second only to motor bikes for casualties), but if 'risk' is how you're going to make life decisions then you should be doing it properly...

Of course I could be guilty of making false assumptions and all the posters who have come back with 'No, no, no way too risky' have in fact been through the stats and checked it - I'd be happy to apologise to anyone I've offended if that's the case.

That's a no. Am raising eyebrow at 'he will be strappped in'. How many parents tell tales of Houdini kids and car seats straps? He might fancy a chew on said straps. He might decide he doesn't fancy the flight just as they get up speed & are committed to the take-off. Just too many variables in a high risk environment.

YANBU imo.

But then my DD is 9y and last year I didn't let her go on the helicopter trip to the Grand Canyon with DH when we we in Vegas. The thought of me going in one terrifies me and I just didn't feel I could settle if DH had taken DD. I felt bad enough with my dh, dad and brother in the thing!

Read the news reports about how Colin McRae took his son and his son's little friend up in his helicopter and crashed and killed them all. Presumably he convinced his wife he knew what he was doing. He didn't even have a valid licence. Also, your DH's insurance probably wouldn't cover him to take your DS up.

No No No.

Given there was a thread earlier about why would you spend £££ on a 3yo's birthday party because they won't remember it anyway, I definitely can't see why you'd want to take a 2.6yo in a microlight - quite apart from the fact that the idea is clearly ridiculous!

I'd say 6 at the youngest. Someone likened it to a motorbike and DD has been going on the back of DH's bike since 6. OK, it's a different situation and you can fall off, but you need a similar graps of actions vs consequences with this IMO.

OP, YADNBU.

I'm not sure that the stats are all that relevant: it's more that the risk, however small, is not outweighed by the likelihood of the 2 year old getting anything out of the experience.

er, that's 'grasp', of course