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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry about seeing older and older children in buggies?

281 replies

mariebl · 05/09/2011 22:16

In the last couple of years I've really started to notice many more children in buggies, some of them must be almost school age.
I also very often see them looking unhappy and bored and trying to get out and being told off for being "naughty".

I'm beginning to think it must be my age as not too many years back there didn't really seem to BE any buggies for older children, babies went in prams, when they started toddling they had reins and when they got tired people picked them up and carried them for a bit.

I appreciate that there are children with conditions where having that transport is helpful and necessary but I also believe that having older and older children in buggies is a recent trend which is in danger of becoming the norm. We are also told we have a child obesity crisis and are told that children do not get enough exercise.
Am I being judgemental to say is this kind of trend a part of it?

OP posts:
Glitterknickaz · 05/09/2011 23:45

purplepidjin not necessarily depends on the waiting list at the local OT or wheelchair centre.... I'm serious

madhattershouse · 05/09/2011 23:45

Her daughter, not the mum Grin

TastyMuffins · 05/09/2011 23:46

I agree with you OP. Yes, I know there are sometimes reasons for it but it's the increase in the number of bigger children in buggies, not sure that there is an increase in conditions affecting their being able to walk apart from the obesity.

I relished the freedom of giving up the buggy even though I occasionally had to carry DS home when he fell asleep on a bus or train.

I once tried to get DS to desperately hurry up to school when he was in reception, we were late and running and I shouted at him to go past that lady with the buggy as we needed to get to school. She only turned up at school shortly after us and unloaded a child a year older! This child did not have any disability or SN, it was just the quickest way to get her to school. Child was even pushed to school in the snow!

weegiemum · 05/09/2011 23:49

Oh yes the looks we used to get as she did her reading in a buggy on the bus on the way home from school in her uniform. Yuk indeed. But the fact that a Maclaren Major counts as a wheelchair isnt common knowledge. And they are now specially designed to look "normal", not "special", to give kids like mine some dignity.

MightyQuim · 05/09/2011 23:51

I've not noticed it in my area. I see a few older kids in buggies but I assume they have sn of some kind. DD's nursery try to encourage parents not to use buggies but a couple still do. A lot of those who don't come by car though.
DD was out of hers at 2 because she errs on the heavy side weight wise and I wanted her to walk. If she didb't I would probably be more relaxed about it. She's nearly 4 now and regularly walks a 7 mile round trip into town and has slimmed down alot so I do think that ideally walking when you can is good for kids. If I still needed to carry them a lot though I'd go for the buggy for long distances as I can only walk a short way carrying my 18 month old and wouldn't get anything done!

monoid · 05/09/2011 23:53

Up until dd was 4, her nursery implemented compulsory afternoon naps. So whenever we went out for the day, I was pretty sure she'd need a sleep after lunch and therefore needed the buggy. I also found the buggy very handy for shopping (being a single parent who doesn't drive) and so would take the buggy even if it was just to hang bags on, and put reigns on dd.
I abandoned the buggy completely when she was about 4.5 so that she would get used to being on her feet all day for school, however we often have to get the bus back from town because she is too tired to walk 3 miles up hill, after walking around shops all day, even now (she is 8.5). I also have to carry bags with my hands [not overly impressed emoticon]

WoofToYouTooLady · 05/09/2011 23:54

yy weegie, I was coming back to say about the mclaren looking just like a buggy , goodness me, how DARE they make a wheelchair look like a buggy, bastards

(tongue firmly in cheek)

weegiemum · 05/09/2011 23:59

I use the bus a lot (ccant drive) and have had a couple of arguments with buggy users over who was most "deserving" of the space.

Even now when she can walk a bit there's still limited PE, and a major reconstructive surgery next yr with bone grafting that will have her under anaesthesia fior 4 hours and off her feet for 3 months.

Lift your baby out the buggy - have you tried folding one with a 6 yo under your arm that you can't put down cos of the agony it will cause?

Whatmeworry · 05/09/2011 23:59

Umntil 2 years ago I used to take my one DS to martial arts lessons at the local health centre, and go to the cafe Nero or Costa or whatever to wait till they were done. Over the years it turned from being a coffee shop with mums and toddlers to being a parking garage for a buggy panzer division...and those 4x4 buggies trundling up the pavement - you can't get round them (and the dirty looks if you do...oh my)

I think there needs to be an End to Buggy Inflatuon and a maximum size of Buggied Child before they lose the use their bluddy lower limbs.

TheBride · 05/09/2011 23:59

TastyMuffins makes a good point. Despite all the anecdotes about children with various special needs (which were already acknowledged in the OP), this doesn't explain the increase in children of walking age in buggies vs 20 yrs ago.

In particular, more people have cars now, so, if long walks to school are the central issue, you'd expect to see fewer 3/4 years olds in buggies, not more.

I would hazard, though may well be wrong, that one issue is possibly that parents are busier, so don't have time to do errands at a small child's pace, hence use the buggy to speed things up.

IHeartKingThistle · 06/09/2011 00:09

I have been FLAMED on this very subject.

spiderslegs · 06/09/2011 00:17

YANBU - I saw a five year old child that I KNOW TO BE ABLE BODIED being transported to the local shop in a buggy yesterday, she lives 400 yards away at most.

I don't know what to say - really.

DD was three last month & I haven't used the buggy for a couple of months.

Make that child WALK.

Clary · 06/09/2011 00:27

OP YANBU, we are not talking about children with SN here, that's a separate issue, though I agree invisible SNs make it still a valid one.

Many of us (including me) have seen children we know to have no mobility issues etc pushed in buggies at frankly ridiculous ages. I know a mum who got a double for her 3rd DC because her "toddler" was about 2 months off 4! I recall actually asking if said child had mobility problems. She didn't.

I am concered about this and similar issues myself because in the future when some of the obese children we as a nation are now breeding need heathcare on the NHS, it is my children and their peers who won't be able to get a midwife to attend their birth (or whatever) because of funding issues. It is most bizarre IMO to see a child with knees round their ears being pushed in a buggy. Another acquaintance pushed her DD until the child was about a month off school and nearly 5yo. They lived about 5 mins from school so not sure what the problem was.

However. Been flamed on this before so best shut up now.

LDNmummy · 06/09/2011 01:04

I agree with the OP actually.

Of course there are situations where the child or parent need to use a pushchair for longer, but I really think there is a problem in this country with reliance on pushchairs.

Maybe that is because I come from a country where people have to walk miles on a daily basis and their children do it with them. I think there is a lazy attitude in the UK and it is not surprising there is a rise in child obesity from such young ages nowadays.

Thruaglassdarkly · 06/09/2011 02:09

I can't believe you have nothing better to do, OP, that to judge other parents!!! If I lived my life worrying about what judgypants people like you were thinking of me, I'd be on the verge of a nervous breakdown now.

And FWIW - my 3 year old rarely uses her stroller, but if she needed to because she was knackered/a bit poorly/ had walked 5 miles prior to meeting you, then I'd let her and it's not any of your business.

YABVVU to judge. Stop it at once and worry about the real stuff that you actually can change. Life is too short!!!

flootshoot · 06/09/2011 06:35

Judginess about this drives me nuts. I don't drive so the buggy is my car. DS is 2.5 and is capable of walking quite far. But after a long walk to the park, and ages playing, he is knackered! In the winter when it's pissing rain and blowing a gale, a buggy with a raincover is the best I can do for him. No-one would bat an eyelid if I drove him everywhere.

mnistooaddictive · 06/09/2011 06:41

If you saw me over the last few days you would have judged me. dd1 has just started school. Dd2 (nearly 3) hasn't used a buggy regularly for about 9 months but currently is very unwell with tonsillitis. She has been in the buggy every morning because she us not well enough to walk and she is too heavy for me to carry. Once she is better, she will walk again.

Whatmeworry · 06/09/2011 07:12

I can't believe you have nothing better to do, OP, that to judge other parents

Isn't that the point bon AIBU :o

More seriously it's not a 2-3 yo that people get pissed off with, it's those monster buggies transporting kids who can easily walk, at c 4 yo and up.

cory · 06/09/2011 07:12

I do agree with the OP, though I don't think it's changed much since the 90s when dd was little.

Made me feel horrible, though, before I knew her reluctance to walk was due to disability- I used to judge myself like nobody's business!

And I don't think there's a difference between using a buggy and using a car needlessly: imo a car is just a buggy for grown-ups Grin

saintlyjimjams · 06/09/2011 07:19

I have never noticed much less worried about it.

But I shall try to use 'snout out' at least once a week from now on....

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 06/09/2011 07:24

The problem isn't walking, it's traffic. My DS can walk for miles, but is definitely excitable with no road sense. If I'm near/crossing lots of big roads, then Ds2 goes in the buggy ds1 holds my hand.It's far safer than having him fight holding my hand, prancing around ten paces behind/in front of me.

pissedrightoff · 06/09/2011 07:26

My DD is 2.1 and my DS is 4 months old.My dog is almost 7.

I use a double buggy and will continue to do so until DD can be trusted absolutley not to run into the road.

Unless the OP has any better suggestions on how I walk all 3 of them to the shops?

dirtydishesmakemesad · 06/09/2011 07:27

My olest two were walking most places at around 3.5. We dont own a car so some walks were pretty long. Our school run was around a mile each way as ds was fine walking this at that age BUT i did have a double for when he was either ill or the weather was bad. During the bad ice and snow all three of them were stuck o the buggy, the younger two in the seats and the oldest sitting between theirs legs and all three wrapped in fleece blankets under the rain cover! I did get a comment about that but then that person left the school and climbed into her car to drive her shorter than ours way home.

Driving a 4 year oldis no worse than putting them in a buggy.

dirtydishesmakemesad · 06/09/2011 07:28

Thst should the the pther way buggy no worse than car - you know what i mean p. It to early for me Grin

Mitmoo · 06/09/2011 07:29

I love posters who think they can judge a person's lives and values by seeing a tiny weeny snapshot of them. They must feel so smug and superior in their perfect worlds while most likely getting it totally wrong most of the time

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