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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...in wanting my teenager to get out of bed?

88 replies

woollyideas · 04/09/2011 12:51

It's nearly one o'clock... I've tried cajoling, encouraging, complaining, threatening, begging, reasoning, nagging, etc., but she's still lying there in a stupor. She has to be go back to school the day after tomorrow and I'm expecting her to be able to spring out of bed at 7 o'clock from then on! What are the chances?

[Frustrated]

OP posts:
alemci · 04/09/2011 16:55

I find it irritating when I need to leave the hot water on for longer because otherwise they will complain if there is no hot water for their shower plus they leave things in an untidy fashion. Sometimes I have cleared up the kitchen and then they make it messy again and do not clear up properly.

That sort of thing makes me cross or they leave cereal bowls lying around. I will be back at work tomorrow and I know I will get annoyed if i come home to mess when they have had nothing else to do as they are still off.

Original poster
woollyideas · 04/09/2011 17:11

DD is up! She surfaced at 3.30, ate a healthy breakfast of chocolate mousse Hmm...

Now she's doing her homework which she's known about for six weeks

Bless. She's lovely, actually!

OP posts:
insanityscatching · 04/09/2011 17:16

Our whole family except me rise late here even dd 8. I get up as soon as it's light even if like last night I didn't go to bed until 2am. I love the peace and quiet in the morning and quite often get 5 hours uninterrupted to do as I please. Today dd was first up at 10.30 and ds last up at 2pmGrin

dexter73 · 04/09/2011 17:17

woolly - your dd sounds just like mine but will occasionally substitute the healthy chocolate mousse breakfast for a nutritional Pot Noodle!

dancer13 · 04/09/2011 17:19

Yes teenagers do need more sleep due to their growing bodies, active minds etc.

What time they get up can also depend on what time they go to bed, so if we have an early start for a day out I suggest my daughter is asleep by 11pm the night before.

It seems to work and avoids stress in the morning. At other times I let her sleep untill she wakes naturally.

aliceliddell · 04/09/2011 17:25

My dp often does a bit of washing up at about 2am. Presumably, those of you who were up at 8am would not welcome being made to get up to help him and then be told you were lazy and disgusting for resenting the uninvited wake-up call? MrsTittlemouse is right; it's cruel to deprive teens of sleep in the mornings.

LineRunner · 04/09/2011 17:27

My DD 15 sleeps in and stays up late. She had a really frightening temper outburst last weekend. She eats crisps for 'breakfast'.

It's like a form of madness, isn't it? I mean, seriously. I read it in New Scientist. The brain rewires itself or makes final connections, and adolescence is like a temporary form of mental illness.

I don't remember it being much fun at times, myself.

I just try to let her know she's much loved, and that her room CAN actually have too much crap in it. I don't stress about the sleeping. She'll just have to get up for school next week, somehow. But that seems the least of our worries tbh.

ImperialBlether · 04/09/2011 17:28

Alemci, turn the hot water off before you go to work. If they're asleep all day, there's no point in having it on.

I phone before I leave work - about an hour before I get home. I ask whether the jobs/kitchen have been done. There's usually a stunned silence then a hasty retreat from the phone. When I get home, it's all done. I don't really care whether they do it at 9 am or 4 pm as long as it's done before I get back.

whackamole · 04/09/2011 17:30

YABU I can't WAIT till my kids are teenagers and I finally can have a lie in again

CrosswordAddict · 04/09/2011 17:31

Did you see that piece in the papers last week about a school in UK somewhere (can't remember where) which started at 10am and they say Hmm that the teenagers had better results in GCSEs as a result.
One of my DDs was so "Tired" this holiday that I took her to GP. He took the line that this is normal in a teenager and not to expect her to get up !
My line was that it can't be healthy for anybody of whatever age to lie in bed all day with the blinds closed watching TV. We agreed to differ Confused
Anyway it will all be back to normal tomorrow THANK GOD.

ImperialBlether · 04/09/2011 17:37

I just want a happy home. I was on my own with two teenagers and couldn't face battles every day, ruining any relationship we had.

Pick your battles. If they are rude then yes, discipline them. If they have no manners, sort that out. If they steal, call the police. If they sleep a long time, enjoy the rest yourself.

LineRunner · 04/09/2011 17:43

I'm in that situation Imperial and agree with you.

CrosswordAddict · 04/09/2011 17:48

Imperial I am beginning to agree with you. But a bit of me wonders how the human body can go so long without food or drink. Wink They seem to have superhuman powers when it comes to sleeping for 14 or 16 hours at a stretch. And doesn't it weaken their muscles if they don't get any exercise at all? Also they don't even get up to meet friends as they can talk to them on Facebook.

Original poster
woollyideas · 04/09/2011 17:55

What I don't understand is that her first words were 'I'm so exhausted...' Grin

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 04/09/2011 17:59

My parents used to point out that they'd been up for hours by the time I got up. I used to point out that they'd been in bed for hours by the time I went to sleep, but apparently I was lazy even though I probably had the same amount of sleep as them.

diddl · 04/09/2011 18:00

"when I need to leave the hot water "

Mine´s on a timer-but luckily for late risers it does seem to stay warm for long enough for afternoon showers!

ImperialBlether · 04/09/2011 18:03

CrosswordAddict, believe me, if they are hungry or thirsty, they will get up. Mind you, don't you find you have a lot less food in the fridge first thing in the morning? They go to bed later than you - that's when the real eating takes place!

LadyBeagleEyes · 04/09/2011 18:18

Yes, bowls of cereal or popcorn at 3 o'clock in the morning.Grin
And I can hear him chatting to others on msn with all the other teenage night owls.
It took a couple of days to get his sleep pattern back, but he leaves a 7.30 in the morning and comes back at 4.30 pm so he's usually ready for bed about 11pm.

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 04/09/2011 18:28

My mum used to wake me early during the whole week before going back to school and I hated it, ruied the last few days of being able to sleep, then I coudn't do right for doing wrong as I just seemed to be in the way all day.

I'd say leave them be....they will, honestly,wake on time for school, and if they are sleepy when they get home then they may just go to sleep earlier for a few days.

I'd probs say to them though if they wanted me to take them anywhere (for shopping, shoes etc etc) OK, but we are going at (eg) 10am, as im busy the rest of the day. That way, some of the time they simply have to get up earlier, or make their own arrangements.

Andrewofgg · 04/09/2011 18:30

Amazing people on this forum. Nearly all parents yet they were never teenagers . . .

CrosswordAddict · 04/09/2011 18:38

Andrew That's true but I think we should not forget the following:
Most of the recruits in WW2 were teenagers. How did they cope?
Teenagers in the 1950's and earlier got up at the crack of dawn to go to factories and apprenticeships. How did they manage?
Teenagers didn't really come into existence properly until 1960's and each generation of teenagers since then has a fresh approach to the "problem".
I'm just concerned for the ~DDs, that's all. How do you define the difference between Depression and Teenage?

jazzchickens · 04/09/2011 18:44

It's not worth getting stressed about. Enjoy the peace and the fact that they are not messing the rest of the house up.

They'll get up for school/college. If they don't & they're late - they'll have to face the consequences at school/college.

Mine just get chores to do in the evening. I throw clean bedding into their room for them to put on their beds. If they don't deal with their own washing - they wear dirty clothes.

HSMM · 04/09/2011 18:51

Mine has been getting up between noon and 2pm. Part of me says she will have terrible 'jet lag' when she has to get up at 7am on Wednesday, but another part tells me to let her sleep.

She got up at about 1pm today and came down to make herself a cheese wrap.

Having said that ... she has been remarkably easy to live with this Summer, so I will give her some slack.

ilovesooty · 04/09/2011 18:53

I'm wondering how those teenagers who are allowed to start school at 10am will cope when they discover people who have jobs are expected to arrive at work a good bit earlier than that.

Annunziata · 04/09/2011 18:55

Ilovesooty, my two oldest were both working at 8 this morning. Dawn of the dead, I tell you.

I can't stand anyone lying in their bed all day. 11 o'clock at the very latest in this house!