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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go ahead with my wedding 2 months after i potentially give birth?!

56 replies

owllover · 03/09/2011 23:59

Oh fuckity. Wedding planned, booked, paid for etc. Just found out I am 4 weeks with pfb (highly unplanned) so due 2 months before wedding which is June next year.

Would I be very unwise to go ahead with wedding or does 2 months sound an ok time to 'recover'? My dress is ordered in a size ten how in the bleedin Nora am i going to fit into it?
Please tell me your magical-baby-weight loss stories :o

OP posts:

Northernlurkerr · 04/09/2011 09:39

I would talk to the dress company about the boobs. After dd1 was born I tried on a dress that had fitted me the previous summer. Fitted fine except the boobs which were HOPELESS!

MrsBradleyCooper · 04/09/2011 09:39

I lost a stone and a half in the week after having ds - like you my wedding had been planned for 8 weeks post birth and we decided to postpone it when I found out I was pg. We ended up getting married a year later and I was a stone heavier!!
Wish we had kept the original date!
Congratulations!!

MrsBradleyCooper · 04/09/2011 09:43

Also, the stress of coping with a 1yr old teething, clingy baby at a wedding was a lot worse than a newborn. I had 3hours sleep the night before my wedding as he woke up at 3am and wouldn't go back to sleep....
I nearly fell asleep at the dinner table and had to drink red bull all night to keep awake - classy!!

Having a newborn can't be worse than that!!

Original poster

owllover · 04/09/2011 09:50

Wow, hats off to that lady egg, I also think it is a few too many 'firsts' within a couple of months of each other, but unfortunately the best laid plans of mice and men always go to pot.

If everything goes well i will have a lot of support from both families and a very keen grandmother-PIL's first GC.

OP posts:

Original poster

owllover · 04/09/2011 09:59

Oh MrsBradley I'm sorry but your story made me laugh :o, what a bummer. On a separate note, Bradley Cooper is about the only famous person i fancy well and jonathan rhys myers till he became a bit of an alco Great taste

I'm hoping the baby will sleep quite a lot at that age too.

Also i'm a slow typist so forgive if i don't get around to replying to you personally. But i really do appreciate your thoughts.

OP posts:

owllover · 04/09/2011 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBradleyCooper · 04/09/2011 10:02

Yes Mr Cooper is one hot piece of ass

And he is fluent in French and has an honours degree from Georgetown (I think) University.

(Not that I know much about him )

MrsBradleyCooper · 04/09/2011 10:03

Love the dress!

A friend of mine had similar - beautiful!

Peachy · 04/09/2011 10:12

I was married in AMrch after a December birth so not much difference.

Practicalities- sorry- I was still bleeding just before so bought a dark grey dress in fear!

The rest of it though- was fine. Wasy enough to orhganise a wedding with access to internet, even back in 2000 when we married. Quite fin to do between naps in fact, and makes you fee ( well made me feel) a little more glam when weighing about the same as a whale and at one stage bed rtidden.

I did have a white dress in the wardrobe but I wore a nice dark one from John Lewis: OK a bigger size than normal but I still like the pics- not for the frock but becuase we both look so happy and young, and as a bonus have a very cute tiny baby in our arms.

As for tiny babies- ds1 was tiny, 5lb 5oz. and has not ahd an easy run: food intolerances, Asperger's, allergies....... why would anyone wish for that?

Original poster

owllover · 04/09/2011 10:22

Ahh Mrs Bradley fluent in french and clever and he looks like he knows his way around a woman :o oh he gets me all frothy :o

Thanks for saying nice things about the dress, looks fairly dull, but is surprisingly nice on.

peachy sorry to hear about ds1, i certainly won't be aiming for a small baby, but in defence of fatlazymummy i think it came out wrong.

OP posts:

fatlazymummy · 04/09/2011 11:54

happymm who do you think you are calling other people idiotic? If my baby had been too large then my consultant would have induced me as the majority of mothers were in my local health district. I ate a healthy controlled diet without any junk food, sweets etc on his advice.
Amazing how so many people on Mumsnet think they know everything.

fatlazymummy · 04/09/2011 12:10

peachy I certainly wasn't wishing for a 5 pound baby. My 1st baby was 9 llbs. my 2nd 7.5, my 3rd 7.8llbs.
According to my consultant very large babies are also at long term health risks [diabetes,coronary heart disease], hence why he induced births once the baby gets to a certain size. Personally I would rather take his advice [someone who has cared for thousands of women and babies] than people who post on the internet.

Cleverything · 04/09/2011 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 04/09/2011 12:39

I was married at 5 months pregnant so not straight after, I'd bought my dress in a sale. Mine had a lace up back so the fitting ladies kindly inserted an extra panel behind the lacing to make it work regardless of the way the baby way sitting.

With regard to yours it is easy enough at the moment to ring up and say please can I can the size on the order to a 12 (there may be a small fee but given the circumstances I doubt it). The size 12 would give you a LOT more leeway and less pressure to return to your prepragancy size, but could also be altered down if you did (where as the 10 can't be altered up iyswim). If you leave it to a month before your wedding and your stress levels are through the roof and you have a newborn it may be the last thing you should really be worrying about.

Tanya2011 · 04/09/2011 12:47

Sounds like a great time! If you got wedding insurance you might be able to postpone the wedding under the insurance policy. Otherwise it should be a great day, wedding and a baby!

Cleverything · 04/09/2011 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

owllover · 04/09/2011 13:08

Postponing isn't much of an option tbh, lots of things booked, lots of very well prepared guests have already booked hotel, flights etc. Just not really the route i want to go down.

Being overdue/emcs are both things i've thought of, we will cross those bridges if/when we come to them.

I am going to phone bridal shop and ask to go and try on the sample again (think it was a size 14) and see what they say about things.

I also don't want to be much of a drama queen about this as i'm very aware things can still go wrong (miscarriage etc).

Thanks for advice :)

OP posts:

Peachy · 04/09/2011 14:12

You won't be the first PG bride they have had Owl, makes sense to call.

Original poster

owllover · 04/09/2011 14:16

Yeah Peachy, can't harm to call. Will do it tomorrow as think these places are usually pretty busy rammed at the weekend. They can't have put it on order already surely??

OP posts:

heleninahandcart · 04/09/2011 15:19

I made sure I ate well during pregnancy. I was back in my size 12 jeans within a week. No diet, just pinged back.

My ample thighs actually shrank during breastfeeding. Never had them so slim. My breasts, however, were another story. Stayed big for a year throughout breastfeeding.

Whatever your size you will look fabulous as its is your wedding day. Just enjoy it.

If you need backup, spanks for any wobbly bits, great bra, hold yourself properly, and for everything else there is photoshop

Peachy · 04/09/2011 15:29

Owl even if they have unless it has been altered it's usually exchangeable. Wortha sking. If not ebay it (explaining reason as some people funny about thinking a dress comes from a broken marriage) and use the cash!

WRT to BF it seems to be 50 / 50 whether people spring back or fail to lose much until they stop feeding, never worth placing bets, but a beautiful dres slike should sell well and maybe try some outlet places such as the Monsoon at Clark's village in Somerset or Bicester Whatever-it's-called. And never forget the sales; a too big dress bought there can always be scaled back a bit by a seamstress. Jst allow for soemthing to show off your boos well

HalfTermHero · 04/09/2011 15:54

I would say order your dress in a size 12. Of course it is possible not to put much weight on during pregnancy but for most of us several a few pounds creep on. I am always hungrier during pregnancy so eat more than usual.

Gincognito · 04/09/2011 16:22

I think you would be more than little mad if it's your first baby.

Two months after my edd my ds was 6 weeks old. He had colic, he never slept, he breastfed constantly and he screamed all the time. I was still enormous, my stitches hurt and I had developed pnd. I was severely sleep deprived. It was hell.

I hope this is not your experience, but it could be.

foreverondiet · 04/09/2011 18:38

I agree change dress to a 12 and be really careful with diet during pregnancy, can continue to work out right through. I switched from running to cross training at 28 weeks and to swimming / pregnancy gym class / aqua aerobics at 36 weeks each time. Switched from free weights to machine weights at 14 weeks (less risk of injury) basically did normal gym session (albeit without running) until 36 weeks.

I agree trick is to not gain too much in pregnancy, and switch to low fat, low GI diet, its healthier for you and the baby anyway and will limit weight gain. This is more important than the exercise.

It took me ages to lose the weight each time but I put on too much in pregnancy and ate too much cake after each birth, presumably you'd be more motivated to be really careful.

foreverondiet · 04/09/2011 18:44

In respect of the other comments, I'd stopped bleeding by around 4 weeks each time and even when I had loads of stitches & bruising with DD was all healed by 6 weeks.

I think though you need to be sensible and practical, eg maternity nurse (or other proper help) in couple of weeks before the wedding to make sure you are not overtired before big day, and accept that honeymoon will be different (or may need to wait). If breastfeeding need to schedule time into wedding to deal with that.

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