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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel disheartened and that we will never be well off

32 replies

BimboNo5 · 03/09/2011 22:15

And have money to save for a rainy day like my parents/their parents did. That it will be a struggle to save for our kids to go to uni, never be able to afford to take the kids to disney world etc and after struggling each month just to make ends meet (both working full time, sometimes overtime) will have a measley pension to look forward to that will no doubt be taxed to the hilt.
Grr sorry to sound so god damn miserable but life seems like an uphill struggle to get NOWHERE at the moment

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 03/09/2011 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViviPru · 03/09/2011 22:22

YABU. If you've decided something will never happen, you're never going to try and make it happen.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 03/09/2011 22:23

Snap, i don't know when earning over 40k each made you poor, but in London ot doesn't go far and you wonder some days if its all worth it, especially when i see fb friends popping kids out left right and centre, and all funded by the state, we have to waot until ee can afford another... but on the other hand were very lucky; I wouldnt worry about what pension you might or might not have, my mum didn't live long enougg to draw hers, life is for today, not tomorrow...

Original poster
BimboNo5 · 03/09/2011 22:23

What, aside from working all the hours under the sun?

OP posts:
Claw3 · 03/09/2011 22:24

There is more to life than money and i say that as a skint person in the same boat as you Smile

Original poster
BimboNo5 · 03/09/2011 22:25

There is, but its nice though Grin

OP posts:
Bingbangbong · 03/09/2011 22:26

You will never be happy if you concentrate on negative things. Why not be thankful for what you do have?

Claw3 · 03/09/2011 22:27

Look on the bright side your kids might not even make uni, that should cheer you up Grin

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 03/09/2011 22:27

Yanbu, oh and those doing disneyland are most likely maxing out their credit cards, which will still have a balance when were drawing our crud pensions... justice :)

supadupapupascupa · 03/09/2011 22:28

i think it depends on how much it means to you. Where I live we have a very good standard of living on relatively small incomes. Housing is good and cheap and lots of countryside etc.

Would you be prepared to move? You only get one life, and sometimes I think you have to face tough decisions..... I appreciate the difficulties with moving though.....

BeerTricksPotter · 03/09/2011 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissVerinder · 03/09/2011 22:31

^^ what Beertricks said.

magicmelons · 03/09/2011 22:32

YABU, i was talking to my MIL about this and she said (sitting in her half a million pound home) that you never feel like your winning, something always goes wrong and i agree but i also think sometimes we are so consumerist we don't take the time to appreciate what we have.

Ismeyes · 03/09/2011 22:34

YABU.

I think you are looking in the wrong place for happiness, it will never come from having money. You are sad because you will never be able to afford to take your children to disneyland?

ViviPru · 03/09/2011 22:34

What, aside from working all the hours under the sun?

Yes, you can make it happen aside from that. The term 'well off' is subjective, if by that you mean financially comfortable, then working all hours is not necessarily the only way to become financially comfortable. You've proven that.

Working smarter is the way. Spending & investing more wisely is. True, being 'well off' often results from privilege and good fortune, but it can also be bourne out of attitude & your own actions and reactions. And I don't believe its ever too late.

Claw3 · 03/09/2011 22:35

Oh and yanbu to feel a little disheartened, everyone has down days. YABU to dwell on it.

Have a moan, get it off your chest and move on.

BeerTricksPotter · 03/09/2011 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 · 03/09/2011 22:36

Let your own dc pay for themselves through Uni if they want to go - its not the law you must pay for their education once they become an adult.

Disney isn't just or dc and I took myself when I was 19 and had a ball Grin

BeerTricksPotter · 03/09/2011 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 · 03/09/2011 22:54

Most of my parents generation only needed one wage coming in - my generation have mostly needed two wages - there are always changes, some changes will be positive and others will have a double edge or be negative

chickydoo · 03/09/2011 23:05

ivykaty you are right. My parents generation also seemed to only need one wage earner.....but they wanted less. Would never have considered more than one TV or car. Didn't think about holidays abroad, and eating out just wasn't done. The only takeaway was the chippy. Our generation have very high expectations. Many people see things on TV in magazines and want it all.
Perfume,cosmetics, phones,hairdo's, laptops, designer clothes, beautiful homes,holidays abroad, fast cars, amazing food etc, etc etc.
We should make the most of what we have, life is very short!

EnglishMumInSouthOfFrance · 04/09/2011 08:44

I would try to focus on the good points, how lucky you both are to have jobs ATM and a roof over your heads. It's tough for a lot of people right now, who knows how things will change over the next few years? By the time your kids are ready to go to uni there may well have been another shake up in the system, if not you could just send them to France, my degree cost me a whopping 300 euros per year (having said that, with the current gvmt things may not stay that way Hmm )!

mummymccar · 04/09/2011 09:21

Please don't worry about providing your kids with expensive holidays, paying for them to go through uni, etc. When they look back in years to come it'll be the time that you spent together that will matter to them, not whether they went to Disneyland. Just be there when they need you emotionally and that's all they need. Anything else is just a bonus.

exoticfruits · 04/09/2011 09:24

I agree with mummymccar.

catgirl1976 · 04/09/2011 09:35

YANBU to have a moan but going to Disney etc is not what life is about and whislt not having money is very stressful, it is not as important as other things in life. As for Uni - if and when your children go they go as adults and you are not responsible for paying for them. They can put themselves through, albeit by taking on a large debt, but one that does not have to be repaid unless they are earning at a level that means they can afford to.

Have a moan, then think about all the good things you do have.