To think that a hospital should have a female gynecologist?

[crazyspaniel]

My local hospital only has male gynecologists. If I want to see a female practitioner I have to travel 40 miles. In the end I went to my local hospital and found the whole experience somewhat traumatic - the fact that the doctors were male was part of the reason for finding it so horrible and humiliating.

Is it really so hard to hire a female gynecologist? I get that consultants are often of a generation when not many women went into medicine (and particularly surgery), but there are now more women than men becoming doctors and one of the doctors in the room was SHO level (or whatever they call them now), so not of that generation. I really think this is one area of medicine where there should be female quotas and where each hospital should have at least one female practitioner.

Perhaps you should consider counselling then in order to get to the bottom of it. Not having your smear done regularly or deciding to not have children (when you want them) out of fear of examination are things that may impact heavily on your life.

And no, I don't think there should be a quota for female gynecologists.

Are you suggesting that a newly qualified medical doctor should be forced to specialise in gynaecology because they are a woman, even though they quite fancied elderly medicine, or caridac care?

Because that would be the only way to guarantee a quota of women. Unless of course, you feel that those men are shoving the women out of the way to get themselves into the speciality?

YABU. Next should we only hire midwives who have had children, or pediatricians who have had children? Should we only employ male urologists?

If a hospital advertises an obs/gynae job and one of the requirements is being female they would be in breach of discrimination rules.

You had the choice to travel for a female, you chose not to.

It was a female SHO who completely destroyed my bits when having DS through a botched forceps and dreadful stitching. I have far more confidence in the male gynae who will be repairing the damage and spent a good 40 mins reassuring me that I would be fine to have another vaginal birth with DC2. But I put that down to skill and competence rather than gender. I don't think anyone looks forward to getting their nether regions out for a stranger but I don't give it a second thought as to whether that stranger is male or female. Thinking about it mind, I think the men I've seen have usually been far more discreet, making sure I was covered with towels etc and gentler than the women who are often quite brusque.

Actually i can see where you're coming from crazyspaniel..

A couple of years back i saw 2 Gynae consultants, and had various things done.. both were Male. Every time they dismissed my fears, and questions because they were 'routine' ops, and wouldn't be too painful, i did think How the feck would they know?.. I might of felt more relaxed if they'd been Female, and i've had 2 DCs.

However, please get your smear done - Make an appt with the head nurse at your local surgery, who will undoubtedly be female, and explain your anxiety.. I put mine off for ages after my Gynae experience, but it really was fine.

Some of the stories of gynecological butchery on here are not doing much for my phobia of examination.

I get that I'm being irrational. I know this is my problem. I will think about counselling, as suggested, since this is having an impact on my life. My husband is very understanding about not having children, but I know that if I said I was ready to go ahead he would probably be ecstatic. But I'm 36, and he is 13 years older than me so it's probably too late now.

crazy I completely get it how you feel and everyone coming on here to tell you that it's no biggie - well great for them - but they are missing the point. Of course doctors have seen all sorts but you are not used to baring all your 'sorts' Why shouldn't you see a female when you want to.
next time just travel whereever to see a female, stop putting yourself through unneccesary suffering .
I always ask for a female and I truly feel that yes you do get good and bad in every profession and that's normal but I still would rather a female.

Well, you see, nearly forty years ago a law was passed forbidding discrimination on the grounds of gender in education and employment. There are a very few exceptions but this is not one of them.

It has not been 100% successful because in the nature of things it's difficult to prove when it has been broken but an announcement FEMALE GYNAECOLOGIST WANTED might be bit of a giveaway . . .

When I was concerned about my prostate last year I was interested in the ability of the GP with her finger and thumb up my bum . . .not her gender.

I hate this double standard where you have to make special cases for women but not for men. They want the best person for the job. I don't see why gender matters.

You can see one-youi can travel the 40 miles if you are fussy.

omg get a grip and a bit of compassion and empathy people.
op and myself and a lot of people find the experience seeing a male doc horrible so would like to see a female doc.
perfectly normal and accepatable behaviour. Telling us to 'get over it' is just plain stupid.
Ops original question was why in a large hospital there were no female gynaes was quite an interesting one to be honest. She did not suggest a quota or anything

Of course it's not too late for you to have children - simply stop whatever contraception methods you use and let nature take it's course.

I gave birth at full term without having had any internal examinations or other scrutiny of my 'bits' save only for my lovely female midwife establishing dilation (a painfree procedure that is barely noticeable when you are in labour) a couple of hours before my dc appeared.

I'd far rather have another pregnancy and birth experience than visit a gynaecologist.

I had a female gynae examine me once who referred to my vagina as "your front passage". It did not inspire me with confidence.

I once had one refer to is as "your birth passage" I was 20 years old at the time and DC's were not on my mind. It made me cringe visibly. It's a vagina, call it that is what i would have said now that I'm older and wiser!

YABU OP. A doctor is a doctor. It's their job. They think nothing of examining women and so you shouldn't either.

I just think it is wrong to have quotas-the best person for the job is all that should count. Men should have equal opportunities to be midwives, nursery nurses etc.

I agree mamas12!

Shouldn't the priority here be, best person for the job?
You saw specialist, who examined you in professional way, gender should not come into it at all.
Personally I don't have a problem with male gyno, but I do have problem with female nurse, who on the last occasion was less then gentle or sympathetic while preforming my Smear test, she had an attitude of"It's not that bad just take it, it's not like I don't what it feels like".

Crazyspaniel,
YABU to expect the hospital to employ staff based on gender however I completely understand why you want that choice.

I have had a lot of fertility issues and at the start requested a female gynae as I just felt that bit more comfortable seeing a female for examinations than a man. It meant I had to wait an extra month and travel a bit further but to me, it was worth it.
It is one of those things that is incredibly hard to explain to people whodon't have the same issues. My sister thought I was mad! It certainly isn't a 'ses' thing. I would also prefer a gay female doctor (if wer're giing examples) than a male dr. I just feel less exposed.

On the subject of childbirth, this may reassure you a little. I didn't have any internals throughout my pregnancy - not deemed necessary by my consultant. Then had a c-section performed by my female consultant. ALl the others present were female (however, I was warned prior to this that of course this couldn't be assured).

I wish you all the best x

I agree with mamas12, but you will get quite blunt, straightforward responses on here because it's AIBU afterall

Please get a smear test done, that will be done by a nurse (ime female) at your GPs. That could be a good starting point for you to discuss your phobia, and ask for further help. Your fear of being examined by a male gynae is obviously having quite an impact on your life, so please seek help to overcome it.

As you can see from the responses here, most women just want a kind, competent gynae, male or female, so essentailly disagree with your belief that a certain percentage of gynaes should be female, so women always have the choice.

And no, you haven't left it too late to have children, I was 37 when my first one arrived.

Gender should not come into the hiring policy

That actually pisses me off. Of course it shouldn't in general but what should come before being PC in your hiring practices is making sure people get the help they need! WOmen who are very shy and modest or women for for religious reasons can't see male doctors may choose to ignore important medical concerns!

Good for you it doesn't bother you. Sucks for anyone else doesn't it? The majority of women will suffer form sort of sexual abuse in their life, maybe many of them would prefer not have to have male doctor staring between their legs. A male doctor in control of them and them in a very vulnerable situation.

OP YANBU

If you have a problem with having a male gynecologist, or having anyone examine you, then obviously that isn't something that you can just 'get over' and it isn't fair to make you feel bad for having an issue with it. However, as other's have suggested it might be worth seeing a counsellor about it, or doing something to try to deal with it. I had a molar pregnancy a few years ago and had more physical examinations and scans than I can remember, I really had no choice about which doctor did it, and I gave consent for students to be present (it was quite a rare type) because I was an 'interesting case'. Some of the examinations were uncomfortable, but for most of them I was able to zone out and do relaxation exercises that I had learnt in yoga.

Oh and 36 isn't too late, I had my first dc at 37 dd2 at 38 and ds at 41.

I think the OP is getting a bit of a hard ride here. I don't consider myself particularly prudish but this week had a HSG with two men and one woman in the room (the latter actually doing the procedure). At one point I was naked from the chest down with my heels together and drawn up and knees apart (think frog). The two men were radiology assistants not gynaes. Interestingly, the one who wasn't at my head end noticeably averted his eyes. I think he was as embarrassed as I was. The one at my head end was telling me that HSGs are his least favourite bit of the job because it is not very nice for the woman. I guess they hadn't chosen a specialism that involved looking up nether regions and so were not as comfortable with it as gynaes who do it every day.

I'm waffling but I did feel easier with the woman doing the procedure than the other two in the room. I barely noticed her but was conscious of them. I was much more exposed than for a smear or internal and felt very vulnerable.

SouthernFried - The majority of women will suffer form sort of sexual abuse in their life - are you sure about that?!