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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think childcare is completely unaffordable?

131 replies

Sweetpea5 · 01/09/2011 13:24

i have 2 little ones and was hoping to send them to a childminder when I go back to work. I have been to see several childminders in my not very glamorous part of London and its going to cost between £50 and£60 a day which will be around £550 a week. So basically my entire salary will go on childcare. One of the childminders will also have one other child and 2 afterschool kids, the other will have one other childand one aftercschool.

How can it cost so much? How do people afford this?

OP posts:
Vinomum · 01/09/2011 13:59

YANBU to think that childcare costs are unaffordable for a lot of people. the amounts you have been quoted sound about right for London. We live in Surrey and pay £5.50 per hour per child, full time (60 hours per week per child). it really hurts seeing it on our bank statement every month! But...our choice was to have DCs close together, and even though it's a struggle financially, it's well worth it in other ways. We won't be having any more DCs though!!

porcamiseria · 01/09/2011 14:00

then think about having time out. if you think you can get back into your career later. Most people stay in work knowing it will be shit for 3-4 years but cos they dont want to lose footing on ladder, you are not alone! My DP earns less than £10ph so it was a no brainer, I work, he looks after the kids

I am OK paid, thnaks fxxx

Original poster
Sweetpea5 · 01/09/2011 14:00

Yes yes must embrace the poverty. They are worth it (usually).

Tiger i have 2kids so its £50 or £60 x 2.

OP posts:
Vinomum · 01/09/2011 14:01

50 not 60

Tigresswoods · 01/09/2011 14:01

Aah realised you had 2 kids. Duh.

Insomnia11 · 01/09/2011 14:02

We deliberately spaced our two out so that DD1 would be in school (or almost) when I went back to work after having DD2.

We pay for 3 days a week childcare and PIL have them the other day. DD2 is just after school in term time. It's still £650 a month though. More than that in holidays.

I am giving up my job to set up my own business and work flexibly so we won't need much paid childcare. It's not because of the cost of childcare though but because my current job + wrangling everything else has made me stressed, depressed and ill.

Original poster
Sweetpea5 · 01/09/2011 14:04

Glad to hear it porc. I dont want to give up my job. Actually I do wont to give up my job but cant do it as I feel I need to hold on to it to bring in some money to the family.

Ouch vino. Its reallygoing tohurt me too.

OP posts:
Bumblequeen · 01/09/2011 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 01/09/2011 14:06

YANBU.

We were looking at £1200 pcm for nursery (4 days per week) or £75 per day nanny share (plus tax and NI contributions, plus paying for her to be on our car insurance and paying for her petrol).

We live in Earlsfield, SW London and these prices were the norm.

I gave up work and am at home full time!

bonkers20 · 01/09/2011 14:07

My dh salary will cover mortgage, bills and food

So your salary is £2400. Is that net? You say your DH also has a good salary. About the same as yours? Do you have a net monthly income of around £5000?

I think you will be fine.

MrsTittleMouse · 01/09/2011 14:10

Yep, same as everyone else said - they either
have bigger gaps between their children or
have family help out.

To be honest, it seems to be the latter that's the biggest deal. I know a lot of grannies that have saved their families thousands upon thousands of pounds in childcare. Not always appreciated either. Hmm

The "DH's salary pays half" thing only works if there is some spare in the DH's salary. In our case, we need all of DH's salary to pay for the essentials, but he's on too much for us to get any childcare help (bought house recently in the SE, so housing costs are nuts). So my salary would have to pay for all the childcare costs, plus (almost certainly) a second car, plus all the other incidentals (like work clothes) or we'd be getting further and further into debt each month. :( The OP has to consider the costs of childcare versus the "costs" of staying home with the children, her DH's salary is a done deal. Of course, one "cost" of staying at home is lack of career progression and pension. Which can be a very big deal, but it doesn't affect the fact that she has to consider the day-to-day costs too. If she was the higher earner, or he had been a SAHD, then that's different of course.

Pootles2010 · 01/09/2011 14:11

You're right it is ridiculously unaffordable. We cope, just, but had ds been twins, we'd have been screwed. As in, would have had to sell the house and live with his parents .

Looking back I can't believe I was so cavalier about it all, when planning ds!

Baconsarnie · 01/09/2011 14:11

This is one of the reasons we stuck to one DC. We just couldn't make the maths add up for us if we had a second one. Not the only reason, mind, but definitely a factor. Childcare cripplingly expensive where we are (SE London), I don't know how people do it with more than one chid.

EasyFriedRice · 01/09/2011 14:17

I'm in Brighton and my childminder charges £5 an hour so a 9 hour day = £45. I think I take home net about £100 a day so it eats up a big chunk even just with one child (although obviously, my DH and I split the cost, and I get the £243 in childcare vouchers). Can your DH get childcare vouchers too? That would save a little money.
We're considering No. 2 and have worked out that with a 2.5 year age gap, DD1 will be in nursery school 12-15 hours a week when I go back after maternity leave so that's what we're aiming for. Our CM also offers a £1 an hour discount for a sibling so that's a saving of £9 a day or over £100 a month for a 3-day working week. Our CM is an absolute gem and I don't resent the fact that she costs more than a nursery would, I'm delighted with her care.
One thing to watch out for though, is that a friend found her CM charged her for the time her DD was in nursery school, for the simple reason that she couldn't have another paying child for those 3 hours. So she didn't save any money. Worth asking your CM about her T & Cs before you choose one and sign a contract.
Another thing is that our council have licensed childminders to go into the children's homes. So you can have a regulated childminder come and mind your children in your home. This is better than a nanny because the childminder is self-employed so you don't have to pay NI or any benefits, and they deal with their own tax etc. They may also be cheaper, one I spoke to quoted £7.50 an hour for a 2 child family. We didn't go for this option because my DH works at home and it doesn't work for our DD to be looked after by someone else while he's around as she just wants Daddy all the time. Also I wanted DD to socialise with other children.
HTH x

drcrab · 01/09/2011 14:18

We're in Kent and when we had 1DC, it was slightly over £40/day, so works out to £800/month. Ridiculous. We now have 2. And I'm back at work. Pay freeze but childcare costs have increased (not just because we have 2, but individually they cost more too - due to inflation and other things)... swimming has increased, so has gym, so has music. Argh.

My DH has just started his own practice - so we're going to put the kids in 3days/week and work 4 days each. It'll hopefully make sense. And of course, we get the 15h/week free since DS is now 3.5 years old... thank God for that. We have no P/PIL around to help and frankly, even if they were, I'd feel bad if we didn't pay them back someway...

When the first year nursery's bill arrived, we nearly fell off our seat - over £10,000... we didn't KNOW we had that much money!! Shock

Original poster
Sweetpea5 · 01/09/2011 14:22

Mrs tittlemouse - yes exactly like you describe it. Dh salaryis fully used up on essentials. Mine will be almost used up on childcare, plus travelcard to ge to work and work clothes. There wont be money for anything else, emergency repairs,random stuff and so on.

Bonkers dh earns about the same as me. I think we earn really well which is why I cant understand how everyone else does it as we earn above average and its going to be very tight for us.

Thanks for all the replies. Looks like i am not being unreasonable. Sorry to hear that its been difficult for others too.

OP posts:
Chestnutx3 · 01/09/2011 14:28

Why think about working using up all of your salary - surely childcare costs are both your responsibilities. I know very few people that work with 2 babies/toddlers/pre-schoolers in London/home counties, so I don't think you are right that everybody else does it - with 2+ children close together it is financially crippling for a couple of years until the eldest starts school, you either take the hit or quit working.

AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful · 01/09/2011 14:36

I also have two dc. Dc2 started in nursery when I came back to work earlier this year. I reduced my pension contributions to help fund the nursery bill and then HMRC decided I'd underpaid income tax and adjusted my tax code which totally wiped out all of the contributions saving. We are struggling so badly, funding the difference between income and expenditure on a cc which clearly cannot go on forever. If I don't get a bonus again this year then I'm royally screwed.

Dc1 starts school next month which will help ease the situation, but before and after school care certainly adds up Sad

The 3 year old funding really helped us out at the time, so it's not long until your dc1 gets that (until that gets taken away too.....)

YANBU and it really stresses me out, but what can you do? I have to work and a SAHP isn't an option.

AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful · 01/09/2011 14:37

Forgot it was September today (dur). Dc1 starts school next week.

onlylivinggirl · 01/09/2011 14:40

Can't your DH get the childcare vouchers as well?

KingHellfire · 01/09/2011 14:47

Our childcare didn't go down when they went to school. We still have to cover sickness and holidays. So we ended up having to keep our original childcarer on as we have no family help to cover emergencies/illness/holidays.

chandellina · 01/09/2011 14:53

it's never totally "affordable" but do check out all of your options. Some childminders and nurseries are much cheaper than others, and don't indicate any difference in quality of care. I paid £35 a day to a childminder in central London - next to Waterloo. in the same area I also briefly used a nursery charging around £200 week.

We now share a nanny at a gross cost of around £75/day. It's most of my net pay but there you go - I'm expecting my second child and am so happy to have good childcare in place, our outgoings will be massive when I'm on leave and we're losing the share element soon, doubling our cost, but it's only for a few more years! once they're in school, after school clubs and the like are much more affordable.

bonkers20 · 01/09/2011 14:58

KingHellfire Do you have lots of emergencies or illness to cope with?
Are you paying for your carer when the child/ren are in school - just in case?

Holiday we manage by taking leave separately (not much fun, but needs must) and some holiday clubs. It still worked out ALOT cheaper than daily, round the year pre-school childcare.

IndigoBell · 01/09/2011 14:58

You are allowed dependent leave from work to cover emergencies and illness.......

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/09/2011 15:27

YABU... As a singleton I could have taken the view that work wasn't very motivating seeing as it 'only' paid for all our living costs with not only nothing left over but my topped up with savings into the bargain ... but the prospect of losing my home, living on benefits and then having to restart a career a few years down the track was even less motivating.

I don't think you realise how lucky you are, to be honest.