... to smile and make eye contact with people

[Bennifer]

I just wondered how other people feel about this. If I'm going along a fairly quiet street and I pass someone, I tend to smile and make eye contact (and maybe say Good Morning). Now, I don't do this walking down Oxford Street, but I grew up in the suburbs and just seemed something I was brought up to do.

I'm surprised at how many people don't do this. Is this normal? Is this some strange cultural thing that people have forgotten? AIBU to smile and make eye contact?

Interesting thread i have often wondered if its more or less common to say thanks etc to the bus driver as I do ever time i use the bus. I some times have a bit of a chat with them etc. It's common in my part of the country to have a chat at bus stops with strangers and chat with strangers on the bus etc.
I love visiting London but find it strange at the lack of general chit chat. I also say hi make eyecontact and smile when passing to strangers or people i vaguely recognise.
I walked up to a stranger recently to tell them that they were showing all their bum due their skirt being stuck in their tights.

I always say hello/morning/how are you to old people. I would most likely get stabbed if I tried to interact with anyone under 70!!!

I don;t like ye contact too much, but I have isues making eye contact with people I know very well. I have to work at it. Don't mind a random hello though. Always say thank you when getting off a bus, and a proper thank you too, not a "cheers drive"

yanbu.

I usually smile at the old people I pass in the street.

i come from up north... but live down south.

they dont make eye contact or smile or crack jokes... they look at me as if i'm mad!

but maybe i am!

I'm from Yorkshire, we are very friendly round here, couldn't imagine not making conversation with someone at bus stop, or at the tills in the supermarket. I lived in London for 3 years whilst at uni and I bloody hated it, no one spoke or smiled at anyone, it was a nightmare, couldn't wait to come home to friendly faces, even if I didn't know who they were!

YY, I've always done it. Lived in London most of my life, talking to random folks at bus stops, checkouts and the like. I actually find my current location of Nowheresville MUCH LESS friendly than London! Although it does feature a very high proportion of SN residents, some of whom love to chat. For which I'm thankful, as no other bugger wants to

I used to smile at everyone. 22 years living in London, and I now feel weird doing this.

Oh, I once read an explanation about why we don't make eye contact on a crowded Tube. When we're all squashed together like that, we have to take down our personal 'boundaries' (about 3ft per person, iirc) which makes us very nervous. We usually only get that close to people when being vv intimate or fighting. So avoiding eye contact is the only way we remain 'separate' - if we made eye contact as well as full-body contact, we'd feel overwhelming urges to shag 'em or deck 'em!

I don't know if you've noticed, though, but you can make eye contact with a person 5 or 6 bodies away from you; must be the correct distance!

My friends and I often used to get the whole carriage engaged in conversation, when it wasn't too full. Everybody likes that :)

I grew up in the countryside. You were arrested if you didn't bellow 'Hello!' really loudly at everyone you passed

Even if you smiled really nicely at the policeman and asked him how he was?

I also find it weird that people avoid eye contact/ignore as they walk past. I often walk with the baby on a pretty deserted cycle path and always look at people with a smile and they rarely look at me at all.

I mean FGS we are all the same species. We are all human so have that in common at least. Even dogs sniff each other as a greeting. I'm not saying we should go quite that far .

On a Sunday fine.
On a weekday morning yabu. Leave me alone, there's nothing happy about this time of the morning and the rest of us normal deeply unhappy people do not need your chirpy demeanour rubbed in our face.

I don't like making eye contact (AS) but it's a lot easier when it's just for a second and I don't even know the person, so I often do it and smile. But I don't usually say hello (esp. if I'm on my bike and can't breathe).

I smile at people I pass in the street, except for the woman who lives down the other end of my road who I caught giving my dc(toddler) a spiteful squeeze and yank on the arm. Considering her actions I think it would be only polite to smack her in the face everytime we pass. That ok?

It depends where you live:

If you live in a suburban town/the country where you will most likely see the same people regularly then YANBU - it's only polite

If you live in massive anon. city then you are being a bit U but nice

If you live in London, YABU and marking yourself out as a tourist

If you live in London and are doing this on the tube, YABvvvvvvU and may be thought of as mentally ill by other commuters

The only exceptions to the london rule are joggers, dog walkers and old people I've found

That said I live in a small town now and am actually a little angered and disgusted by how many people completely ignore DS when he says hello/good morning when we're out and about, but I am also "mates" with the lady who gets on the bus at the same stop as me, it's nice to connect with strangers and does make you have faith that human kindness is still out there

I'm a Londoner, and friendly eye-contact is non-existent. Eye-contact between strangers in London is either challenging, sexually-interested, blank-hostile, or blank-invisible.

Becoming a mother made a huge difference, because you make friendly eye-contact with babies, and that creates a common ground and allows friendly eye-contact between the adults. Even conversation!

Now that I live in a small town I have had to get used to a much more open friendliness. Total strangers smile, nod, say a few words in passing.

Although I've got used to it and find it quite pleasant, I do sometimes long for the anonymity of London.

YANBU

Your point about context is very valid.

I grew up in an isolated rural area and still live in a small village and know almost everyone here. Smiling and greeting each other is automatic and essential to village life but if I go up Penzance or St Ives (especially in summertime) then it's quite impossible to do that.

Bennifer, I lived in Exeter, but never met anyone saying goodmorning in 8 yrs...

I live in a village, every day when I walk my dog every person I come across smiles and says hello or good morning. When I go into town, no-one so much as even glances at anyone else. I suppose it is because there are so many people walking about, we would look a bit daft nodding and saying hello to everyone like nodding donkeys everywhere

Even the moody hoodie wearing teenage boys smile and say hello here (rural Northern Ireland)