AIBU to find it funny that what goes round comes round?

[SuzanneJS]

I found out tonight that a girl who bullied me for two years, over a boy, some 24yrs ago calls her dog the love of her life on her Facebook status.
I'm aware of low self esteem etc, but my self esteem was at it's lowest back then.

YABU. Grow up, put it behind you and move on. There's no point in wishing unhappiness on someone else, whatever they have done. Uses up far too much energy.

I felt quite uncomfortable reading that.

Hmmm I think also be careful what you wish for and the higher you place yourself the further you have to fall. Can't think of any other cliches but I think we should always try to show compassion to everyone. Maybe she was in a shit place when she bullied you, doesn't make it right or any better but....

My ex's gf has been truly awful to me and I wished something bad would happen and it now has and I feel bad for hoping for it!

FWIW I was bullied at school. I couldn't give a shit what has happened to the bullies since. If I heard that they were leading happy lives I wouldn't feel hard done by. If I heard they were having a shit time I wouldn't go and help them I don't think but I certainly wouldn't gloat.

Shit happens to all of us at any time. Gloating over what you perceive to be someone else's empty life is just mean spirited.

I love my dog very much too and am fairly sure I may have put something similar as a status update from time to time.

Not perfect patties at all. There are plenty of single people on MN and it is a bit unpleasant to suggest that being single is some sort of punishment for being unkind earlier in life.

Some people are single because something has gone wrong in their life through no fault of their own. Plenty (shock horror!) are single because they want to be.

It is not some sort of punishment for wrong-doing. We are not in the 1950s where women existed solely to find a husband and should be pitied/scorned if they didn't manage to do so.

YABU to admit to feeling smug. Tut.

dont be her friend on FB, MOVE ON! my ex bully is on FB, from what I could see she is a massive fucking chav

Yanbu - I was bullied all the way through high school and I must admit I do feel a tad smug when I hear something not nice has happened to them, karma is a bitch! I do not need counselling nor do I feel sad or bitter about what happened. But I do sometimes wish I could bump into those people now that I'm an adult and tell them a few home truths!

Yanbu - I was bullied all the way through high school and I must admit I do feel a tad smug when I hear something not nice has happened to them, karma is a bitch! I do not need counselling nor do I feel sad or bitter about what happened. But I do sometimes wish I could bump into those people now that I'm an adult and tell them a few home truths!

As someone who was bullied as a teenager I can say that I'd feel a similar sense of satisfaction if I found out the bullies were miserable now. However, just because your bully is single and loves her dog, that doesn't necessarily mean she's unhappy.

Try to move on if you can. Rehashing the past is always tempting but it doesn't help, it just holds you back.

I'd feel a quick ray of smugness too, even if i was aware that it would be seen as 'unhealthy'.

Hi Suzanne, I think I know what you are getting at in your OP. I think that when you've been through something really awful and traumatising which has never had a clear resolution it can be very difficult to deal with even years after the event. From your posts I don't think that it is the bullying that you are focusing on, it sounds to me that you subconsciously want some kind of retribution for what you went through because there was never a conclusive end to it. I went through a really awful experience as a teenager and had to undergo counselling. There was never a conclusive end to what I went through, I was just told to stop talking about it. In the end other people did too. That, to my school and the police was enough but it wasn't for me. I've tried to avoid anything to do with that situation but because of Facebook occasionally someone involved with it will pop into my life again uninvited. Whenever that happens it can really shake you up no matter how far away it is from your mind in your day to day life. When you've suffered at the hands of somebody else it is completely natural and normal to want to see them suffer too. It doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, it means that you've been through something traumatic and are trying to work your way through it. I suspect that this bullying was particularly bad if you still suffer so many years later. If you feel that it is having an impact on your life now then a counsellor may be of some benefit to you and you can be referred through your GP. However, I suspect that this was just a one-off event that got to you so if you do want to talk it out with someone that doesn't get paid to listen but understands where you are coming from, please feel free to send me a PM.
I hope that you feel better soon.