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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just been told dd needs glasses. AIBU to be quite gutted, and also a bit confused actually?

82 replies

PopBiscuits · 31/08/2011 11:33

dd is 7.5

Just been for her first eye test with absolutely no expectations of finding any problems.

I was gobsmacked to see her struggling to read the 3rd or 4th line of the chart with her right eye.

With her left, she read all the way to the bottom, no problems.

Optician has recommended that she wear glasses full time for 6 months in the hope that her right eye improves.

She is devastated about this, and therefore so am I, IYSWIM?

Also, am confused as optician said that if there is no improvement after 6 months then we can give up and not bother with the glasses.

Huh? Anyone been through similar and can explain?

OP posts:
milkyways · 01/09/2011 10:17

YADNBU - My daughter (aged 3) was prescribed glasses 6 months ago. I was really shocked and sad because she also has astigmatism that she obviously inherited from me and I felt it was my fault.

It took a few days to sink in, but she looks so cute in her pink glasses (when she agrees to wear them!) that I don't let it bother me anymore and I know they're helping her.

pippilongsmurfing · 01/09/2011 10:20

I don't know why the optician would say not to bother after six months Hmm If he had said that to me I would be looking for a second opinion.

My DD had a weak right eye and had to have glasses and also some "eye exercises" to improve it, the exercises and glasses seemed to work as after 18 months both eyes are nearly the same and she no longer needs glasses.

Cheria · 01/09/2011 10:24

Wow. YABVU. Glasses are cool, I love mine. And once she's a bit older, if she has problems with her glasses then she can get contact lenses.

youarekidding · 01/09/2011 11:08

ouryve Just wondered as thought it maybe the astigmatism as effects the light refraction (or something!!)

Amy thanks for that. It did make sense. None of the letters on the chart are clear to me Hmm. I have an astigmatism though and when thats corrected I can read down to 20/40 line I think (maybe 20/30 but it not easy) with my correction my vision is 6/5!! (guess that means better than normal Confused

AmyStake · 01/09/2011 17:09

youare Do you have astigmatism in both eyes? I only have it in my "lazy" eye (I hate that term!) but the axis of it is only 30 degrees. If my eye wasn't blurred anyway I'd probably notice the astigmatism more.

Your correct VA is better than 20/20! 20/20 is equivalent to 6/6. It's all relative, just different distances. I think mine corrected is 6/9 in the bad'un and 6/5 in the other.

I'm going for a laser eye consultation next week, I can't wait Grin.

ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown · 01/09/2011 17:29

I'm an optician; at 7 years old it's difficult to treat a lazy eye by patching, which is probably why your optician hasn't referred her and thinks she may not need the specs after 6 months (if they haven't improved things by then they probably won't). Specs for patients with lazy eyes are aiming to make the eye function better rather than siml

ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown · 01/09/2011 17:35

Buggeration, stupid iPhone!

*rather than simply correct long/short sight. If you would like your DD referred to an orthoptist you can request it from the optician (they'll write to the gp who'll write to the hospital.

I would say if you want a second opinion you'll need to pay for it; children's sight tests are paid for by the NHS and if you have 2 tests very close together without the 2nd optician coding it (which they can't for you wanting a second opinion) then you may get a nasty letter from the NHS accusing you of fraud!

Hth

herhonesty · 01/09/2011 17:45

i can see why you are upset, i would be. whilst not to make light of a medical situation can i just say

  1. little kids look adorable in glasses. imho.
  2. if you can, make her think she is very special for having glasses - no one else has the privilege...
  3. lots of other kids will be secretely jealous of the glasses (as I was, with my BF. so much so i went to the optician and tried to fake the eye test. i didnt work.)
  4. its better you have found out now than later because of a symptomatic reason, i.e. struggling at school, headaches.

yanbu, but dont turn it into a drama!

ouryve · 01/09/2011 18:49

Amystake - the axis for an astigmatism refers to the direction in which the eyeball is distorted - the corrective lenses are like a cylinder or tube instead of the jam jar bottoms needed for short sightedness and the axis is the direction the cylinder travels along.

ouryve · 01/09/2011 18:50

Forgot to add, that means that 30 degrees is no better or worse than 17o degrees - it just means the lenses bend along a different line.

ouryve · 01/09/2011 18:51

170

I'll get there in the end.

landrover · 01/09/2011 19:14

Sorry op, i really do think its important to get referred to your local specialist (ring gp up and they will arrange it, and of course you wont be charged or accused of fraud!!!) It is Always worth a try at patching before 8 years old, you have nothing to lose anyway by trying!!!! We did it for a couple of hours after school everyday on her ds (apparently that really helps) Please dont just go by what your optician says xx

aquashiv · 01/09/2011 19:26

I understand your confusion.
Our dd age 6 has just been told she as astigmastism and is long sighted. She has had trouble reading the white board. I feel awful I hadnt picked up on it. I was given really vague advice.
How long will she wear them for? A WHo knows.
When should she wear them? A When she needs them.
Will wearing them improve her sight? A WHo knows.
The glassses she has are lovely though.

Notinmykitchen · 01/09/2011 19:27

OP you'll be amazed how quickly you get used to her wearing glasses. My DS (3) has been given glasses in the last couple of weeks. I was not over the moon that he needed them, but he looks odd now without them. It doesn't seem to bother him in the slightest either. Luckily he has an older cousin who wears glasses, so he thinks they're really cool.

ouryve · 01/09/2011 19:34

We've just broken it to DS1 that we think he needs glasses and that he's having his eyes tested on Saturday and he sounds like he's going to be really disappointed if we're wrong! He wants to be like his dad!

Strawbezza · 01/09/2011 19:40

OP glasses aren't a medical appliance. Think of them as a piece of jewellery, and be excited that your DD can choose a lovely pair of her own.

CocktailQueen · 01/09/2011 19:57

YAB a bit U for being upset - glasses for kids are gorgeous now and there is loads of choice!

But how bizarre of the optician to say about trying for 6 months then givnig up - def ask about that next time!

AmyStake · 01/09/2011 21:01

ouryve Whoops, I was under the impression that the axis further affects your astigmatism, thanks for clarifying for me :). I guess I really don't notice it with my eye how it is!

Kids glasses today are so cute! We get lots of disappointed children with perfect eyesight. Hmm. Bench do some really smart kids frames but I don't think they'd be free on the NHS. :(

ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown · 01/09/2011 21:41

Landrover I didn't say op would get done for fraud for seeking a referral, I said she MAY get looked into for fraud if she took her DC for a second test without mentioning the first. The other option would be to ask for a retest at the original practice with a different optician, which would be covered under the first test.

youarekidding · 01/09/2011 22:24

Amy yes astigmatism is in both eyes. 1 eye is 1.75 at 12° and the other 1.25 at 180° - and I have no idea what it means.

Sorry wasn't clear with corrected VA. Without distance lenses (so just correcting astigmatism) it is 20/30 or 20/40 (depends on light) but with distance correction my vision is better than 20/20. Grin I only know because we were discussing whether to just correct astigmatism.

youarekidding · 01/09/2011 22:27

aquashiv that's what my DS wears glasses for, same problem with board. Thing with astigmatism is it can be affected by light so the damned white boards are a PITA for people who have it. The good news is his eyes are correcting so hopefully your see an improvement with your DD.

FabbyChic · 01/09/2011 22:29

The first time I took my son to an optician they said he would need surgery before glasses. I was scared. I paid £80 for a private consultant to tell me that he did not need glasses, that he had a lazy eye and that he could manage as it was.

That was 13 years ago, he still has the lazy eye and it gets blood shot sometimes where he studies for hours on end, but he has never been back to the optician and says he won't go and will go without glasses, however if he did need glasses he would need corrective surgery as they would pull his eye into his nose.

I'd get a second opinion the first Optitian I see scared the life out of me.

landrover · 01/09/2011 23:12

sorry disco

ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown · 02/09/2011 00:30

S'ok landrover :)

startail · 02/09/2011 01:09

I've worn glasses since I was 10 they are totally part of me. I didn't tell anyone I couldn't see the board for ages so being able to see was just magic. I very occasionally wear lenses and it feels really odd.
DD2 wears glasses too, she is a bit of a fashion queen so she is a bit fussy about what they look like, the last pair took a bit of leg work to find some she liked. However, she does wear the new ones because they are the right prescription (the previous pair got left off a lot. I now realise, because they weren't helping much).
Please be positive, OP, glasses are a minor pain. Having no 3D vision like a friend who's parents didn't get his squint corrected is a major pain.