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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Just been told dd needs glasses. AIBU to be quite gutted, and also a bit confused actually?

82 replies

PopBiscuits · 31/08/2011 11:33

dd is 7.5

Just been for her first eye test with absolutely no expectations of finding any problems.

I was gobsmacked to see her struggling to read the 3rd or 4th line of the chart with her right eye.

With her left, she read all the way to the bottom, no problems.

Optician has recommended that she wear glasses full time for 6 months in the hope that her right eye improves.

She is devastated about this, and therefore so am I, IYSWIM?

Also, am confused as optician said that if there is no improvement after 6 months then we can give up and not bother with the glasses.

Huh? Anyone been through similar and can explain?

OP posts:

landrover · 31/08/2011 15:37

Hi there, this happened to my daughter when she was five, frirst thing you need to do is ring your gp (or indeed ask your optician,) to refer her to your local specialist opthalmist for a proper look. (or orphoptist whichever one it is!!!) Gps are totally used to having to do this but is definately what you should do first. Get seen by a specialist who is used to dealing with this. My daughter couldnt see a thing with one eye! After 2 years of patching it is amazing, worth all the effort and appointments. When she is 12 ish she can wear one contact lense!!! in the bad eye. So make sure you see a specialist, do not just go along with your optician xx

landrover · 31/08/2011 15:45

I forgot to say that they say childrens eyes stop developing at 8 ish so ring the GP today and say you need to be referred to your opthalmist dept (usually at your local hospital.) This is really common and deffo needs doing rather than being seen by a high st optician (no offense opticians)

TheSmallClanger · 31/08/2011 15:54

I have the same problem as your DD, I think. I was given eye exercises to do, which made no difference. At 22 or so, an optician gave me a prescription for glasses, which I do not need to wear very often. I agree with whoever mentioned depth perception improving. Mine is quite poor and it probably would have helped if it was sorted out when I was younger.

It's never nice to hear that your own child is anything less than a physically perfect specimen, but I really don't think the stigma about glasses from our own childhood still exists.

smartyparts · 31/08/2011 16:07

I think it's natural to feel a little upset.

My ds2 has glasses to wear for the board and TV. He looks very cute in them and was absolutely delighted with them but unfortunately got teased at school and won't wear them apart from at home.

alistron1 · 31/08/2011 16:11

My 7 year old DS2 got his first specs last week. Like your daughter he is 'hyperopic' and 1 eye is markedly worse than the other, so he needs to wear the specs all the time to prevent a lazy eye developing. He is very pleased to have glasses!! Since my DD2 (who is very short sighted) got glasses a few years ago he has been desperate for them

Rowgtfc72 · 31/08/2011 17:57

Dd got her first glasses for her fourth birthday but we were also put under the orthoptist at the hospital I assume because of her age. She has had to wear a patch for the last four months as she is long sighted in one eye and has almost perfect vision in the other so it was causing a squint. We got our refferal for the hospital via our gp who was informed by the optician. Dont think it comes direct from optician. Dd loves her glasses and is gutted that after Christmas she wont need to wear her patches anymore. I would take it up with your gp in the first place who can get you an appointment with a hospital orthoptist who should be able to explain better.

youarekidding · 31/08/2011 18:49

popbiscuits have you seen the second optition? What did he/she say?

Original poster

PopBiscuits · 31/08/2011 19:14

Well I have been back to the optician with a few questions.

Her explanation was that the loss of vision in dd's right eye is very slight (6/9 she called it).

She also said that this loss is not correctable with glasses as it is due to a lazy eye thing, and not due to refractive issues with her eye.

So the glasses she recommends are not intended to improve her vision immediately on a daily basis. They to be worn in the hope that she might outgrow the lazy eye thing ( I am not sure how they do this).

If it does not start to work after 6 months then she says no point carrying on and she is stuck with the 6/9 vision for life.

But apparently this doesn't matter as 6/9 vision is good enough anyway.

Hmmmm. Clear as mud?!?!

OP posts:

Sassybeast · 31/08/2011 19:15

'Devastated' ? Really ? Heaven forbid you ever have to deal with a serious illness in your kids. Replace devastated with 'shallow' and get some perspective. Your poor little girl

Peachy · 31/08/2011 19:28

I don't agree with Sassy; I felt very upset when ds1 was diagnosed with very bad astigmatism, my kids have also now had a dx of asperger's, one of autism and severe language delay and am facing another of autism but still that first glasses upsret was real.

You feel how you feel, easy as that.

I would definitely speak to the local eye hospital; ds4 is having an asessment ATM (issues picked up last visit, astigmatism in one eye- no surprise, ds1 and I both have severe astigmatism and a glasses prescription next time) and get a full check over.

exoticfruits · 31/08/2011 19:31

Make sure that you stay positive for her.

Catsmamma · 31/08/2011 19:38

6/6 is normal vision, 6/12 is legal driving standards, so 6/9 is right in the middle of that.

it does sound like she has a lazy eye/amblyopia, the weaker eye has failed to develop the same acuity as the other eye. I'd certainly encourage her to wear the specs as much as possible once she has them, as children's eye do continue to develop until they are about eight, so some improvement is possible, and obviously do go back for the follow up in six months.

LadyBeagleEyes · 31/08/2011 19:40

I personally think small children in glasses look very cute, my friend's so wears them and looks lovely.

supersewer · 31/08/2011 21:47

Both my kids wear glasses, it is part of their identity. In fact I was really upset when school made ds remove them for his school photo as it didn't look like him.

ouryve · 31/08/2011 22:03

Staying positive for her is definitely important. There's nothing wrong with wearing glasses and most make pretty good fashion accessories.

DH and I both wear glasses - DH is very short sighted and I have a strong astigmatism. I also have a slightly lazy right eye, but when it's bothering me, as it does when I'm tired or run down (or in winter when the light isn't so good) I have to exercise it with a couple of pens. If your daughter's lazy eye doesn't buck up its habits, she will probably be given similar exercises.

It's looking increasingly like DS1 has inherited his dad's eyes, anyhow, so we're going to have to book him in for an appointment, soon. Getting him to keep them on and keep them intact will be such fun.

youarekidding · 31/08/2011 23:02

In fact I was really upset when school made ds remove them for his school photo as it didn't look like him. that is awful.

My mum made my DS remove his for a photo once, I was . He had only just got used to them and she made him feel they were something that made him look bad. I refused to remove mine on account I couldn't have seen the camera so wouldn't know where to look. (she didn't ask me to tho btw!)

I have no idea what 6/9 etc means. I understand it all as +/- 0.25, 0.50, 1, 1.5 etc. It goes up by 0.25 depending on how mcuh correction is needed.

youarekidding · 31/08/2011 23:04

Sorry to go off topic. ouryve do you have to do the ones where to follow the pens and go cross eyed?

I have astigmatism (-1.75 and -1.25) so moderate. I can't cope with any bright lights. I have a very slight short sightedness (-0.75) and have been told if it wasn't for the astigmatism I would need glasses to drive only.

AmyStake · 31/08/2011 23:28

I have amblyopia and astigmatism in one eye. Thanks to my cornea treatment would never have worked had I done it properly when I was younger but I literally can't live without my glasses. I feel sick when I don't wear them and I get bad headaches. Please encourage her to wear them :)

My bad eye is +4.50 / -2.50 with a va of 6/12.

Youarekidding visual acuity is measured like this. The letters on the chart have numbers above them. The bottom line is 5 and the top letter is 60. The chart is 6 foot away from where you sit.

So, if I could only read the top letter, my VA would be 6/60. Which would mean that I can only read the letter at 6 foot, where as most normal sighted people would be able to read that letter at 60 foot away.

So for my eye, I can read letters 6 foot away that you would be able to read at 12 foot away.

Shit. That doesn't really make sense. :/

Poweredbypepsi · 31/08/2011 23:50

Yanbu to be upset but hopefully your dd will get used to it pretty quickly.
I had my first glasses when I was 6/7 and made parents made it very much a non event, nothing special just "you wear these now" no big deal I think that made it easier to cope with.
My eyes now are quite bad -9.5 and I dh also wears glasses so u am just waiting for one of our dcs to need them tbh!.

ouryve · 01/09/2011 08:56

youarekidding yes I do. My astigmatism is stronger (can't remember the numbers, but strong enough for lenses to always have to be ordered in for me, so there is no such thing as one hour glasses) and yes, I do have terrible problems with bright lights. I wear sunglassses a lot, even when it's cloudy.

And stripes! I felt quite nauseous after ironing a stripy shirt, last week. DH has an old t-shirt with narrow strips and i can't look at him when he's wearing it because they go all psychedelic on me! (And that's with my glasses on!)

InPraiseOfBacchus · 01/09/2011 09:41

I was 8 when I got my first pair, and I loved them even though they were hideous! Nowadays, I still adore my specs. I love collecting and wearing different funky frames.

Make it into an adventure! If your daughter senses that you're "devastated" even a tiny bit, she will be too, simple as that. When I got my glasses, I associated them with being grown up and smart, rather than the fact that my mother was beside herself because I wasn't 'perfect'.

DumSpiroSpero · 01/09/2011 09:56

super interested in you comment re your son being made to take his specs off for schools photo.

My DD asked to take hers off for her photo and they wouldn't let her!

OP - I'm sure your DD will be fine. There are lots of nice styles to choose from and lots more kids seem to wear them now than when I was little (DD had hers at 4, I started wearing specs at 6). DD has had no problems with teasing at all and wears hers all the time (permanently - she is short sighted).

She did say to me a few weeks ago that "I don't look as pretty with my glasses on" which was , but we don't generally have any issues with it.

SardineQueen · 01/09/2011 10:00

DD1 wears glasses and has a patch 3 hours a day as well, this has been since age 2.5.

I was a bit upset when we were told, mainly because it's always upsetting when you find out there is something "wrong" with one of your children, and to discover that she was nearly blind in one eye and none of us had realised.

She is happy with her glasses though. Her dad wears glasses so she is "like him". It may help to find pictures of people she admires (sports stars / pop stars / film stars whatever she likes) with glasses and show her they can look really cool and that cool people have them. Also there are loads of styles and she can choose which is pretty nifty.

You will both get used to them quickly I'm sure

mrszimmerman · 01/09/2011 10:08

My niece had glasses for her whole childhood and my big sis was very self conscious particularly about school photographs. My niece is now nearly 18 and gorgeous with and without her glasses.
My sister was in tears the other day holding a school photograph of her daughter wondering why she wasn't overjoyed and couldn't see past the glasses. She also really regretted not getting a couple of school photos because the glasses made my niece's eyes look large. She can't believe now that she worried about it at all!
I think being a parent can bring out all sorts of paranoid anxieties, none of us knows how we'll react before it happens do we? But best not to beat ourselves up at the time or in retrospect!

TheSmallClanger · 01/09/2011 10:15

Mrszimmerman, that's really sad.

A good pair of glasses draws attention to the eyes, and eyes are a nice part of the face to emphasise, I think.

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