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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

should we be concerned - sorry may be long

61 replies

debtfreeiwish · 30/08/2011 23:16

my neice went on holiday to turkey on fri for 2 weeks with her daughter who's 3 and 3 female family members,last night she text her mum to say she was getting lots of attention from a couple over her daughter asking lots of q's about her age,her father what he did etc,then they went on to take photo's of her? then when she went to the toilet with her lo she came out to find the bloke standing outside? bit later on a group came over to them and said they had noticed the unwanted attention they were getting and walked them back to their rooms to make sure they were ok?(her mum told her to make it obvious but to get a photo of them)anyway today she took a photo of them in the background and the bloke covered his face,then at lunch when they went into the hall they noticed them sat quite far away so they sat down and then within 5 mins this couple had moved to a table near them?? not heard anymore since but are me and my sister right to be concerned by this or are we overreacting?? thanks mel

OP posts:
AnotherJaffaCake · 31/08/2011 08:38

freybean - I'm sure we're all thinking the same thing here, but no-one's yet mentioned any names. Perhaps the OP's sister would be wise to keep her daughter very close at all times, just in case. Moving hotels might be a good idea, and request a room above ground floor. Getting photos of the couple might also help, should anything further happen.

troisgarcons · 31/08/2011 08:45

There is also a lot of child-trafficking in Turkey. And Portugal come to that. Usually it's Roma children they steal. Mainly for adoption but not always. Unusual to lift tourist children.

However people do let their guard down on holiday.

southmum · 31/08/2011 09:07

TBH if I was your neice Id just be outright asking this weird couple WTF their problem is.

AND then report it to a rep

scrambedeggs · 31/08/2011 10:26

Contact the local police pronto.

lol and say what? these people are making small talk about my daughter?

they are looking up at a building, that may or may not be our apartment?

he was standing outside a public toilet once?

pippilongsmurfing · 31/08/2011 10:30

FFS, if they're that fricking worried why are they not talking to the local police or hotel manager/holiday rep instead of texting someone to post it on an internet forum??

kirsty75005 · 31/08/2011 11:49

What nationality are the couple in question ? If they're not British it may well just be cultural misunderstanding.

TBH, I live abroad and when I come back to the UK I'm surprised how little interest and questioning there is about my children. When you're used to the reaction that many foreigners have to small children British attitudes can seem very cold. When the first one was really little I'd expect any shopping trip to involve 2 or 3 people asking all kinds of questions about him and requests for photos weren't frequent but they did happen a few times. It's especially noticeable with northern European blond blue-eyed kids.

Round here what you're describing wouldn't really register as odd behaviour, though I understand that if you're used to British customs you might not feel comfortable with it.

SiamoFottuti · 31/08/2011 11:51

oh please....dodgy furriners looking to steal your blonde child?

Give me a fucking break. Hmm

Original poster
debtfreeiwish · 31/08/2011 11:54

she has spoken to the hotel manager last night who has took it series and has spoken to the couple and he has also told all staff to watch them at all times.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 31/08/2011 11:54

This thread is incredible. Sounds like a facebook frenzy of nothingness, with a bit of racism thrown in.

Delightful.

kelly2000 · 31/08/2011 11:55

This is going to sound a bit out there, but I was wondering if they thought the niece was another child like madeline McCann. I know that sounds wacky, but I have heard of a lot of cases where people are certain they have spotted her. There was a case in India recently where a man actually tried to grab a child from her parents because he thought she looked like madeline Mccann! In all probablity it is innocent, but just keep the little girl close and the other couple far.

SiamoFottuti · 31/08/2011 11:56

only if they think children don't age. Your one was 3 several years ago, she's not 3 now. Bloody ridiculous.

Racist, urban myth type boohockey of the highest order.

AgentZigzag · 31/08/2011 12:13

'Racist, urban myth type boohockey of the highest order.'

I don't agree, I think parents are aware of the behaviour of people around their children.

I'm not talking about a 'paedo round every corner' mentality, but if someone was taking more than a healthy interest in my children, it would make me wonder why.

You wouldn't siamo, and that's fine, but don't try to make out that anyone who would is a racist idiot.

SquongebobSparepants · 31/08/2011 12:17

When my mum and I went to Africa we were very wary of leaving the hotel grounds as everytime we did we were (literally) surrounded by people wanting a cuddle with DD's, or a photo, one woman wanted us to go back to her house to meet her mum Hmm and took DD2's hand to lead ehr off.

This had nothing to do with child abduction, more that they were unused to seeing a child with a strawberry blonde curly afro and bright green eyes, she gets attention at home but nothign like the mobbing we got in Africa...

By all means tell your family to take normal precautions, you shoudl always keep an eye on your children, but don't freak out because someone makes a fuss over them.

Original poster
debtfreeiwish · 31/08/2011 12:19

well hotel have concerns they have told the couple that if they don't back off they will be thrown out of hotel,and can i just say this is not a racist post in anyway or form, just a concerned family.

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/08/2011 12:25

To go back to your op it does sound like you and your sister are overreacting and I wonder what purpose it serves for your niece to have bothered to contact your sister and her get you involved. Sounds as if it is perfectly under control and she has already spoken to those locally who may be in a posiition to act if needs be, even if she is a tad paranoid. Very few children disappear while on holiday after all (assuming that is her concern), so few that 20+ years on we still remember Ben Needham.

southmum · 31/08/2011 13:03

Err Siamo and Scurry - have you actually read the OP? TBH alot of it can probably be explained but as a parent my hackles would be totally raised by this combination:

This couple have been taking pictures of the kid
Asking questions about the father
Asking the kids age (in itself not worrying I admit)
Someone took a pic and the dude covered his face
He was lingering outside a toilet (again on its own not worrying)
Sat far away in a restaurant and then moved closer
Its that noticeable that some other holiday makers have commented

I think the only overreaction here is from you two screaming the bloody racist card Hmm

SinicalSal · 31/08/2011 13:09

the whole point of the thread is that OP doesn't know what to think Hmm ever been in an ambigous situations and asked for opinions?
honestly.

kelly2000 · 31/08/2011 13:13

Why is it racist? The OP did not mention their race, and in fact only gave their nationalities when asked. And people were using their nationalitiy to defend them, saying some cultures do not have the same boundaries when it comes to children they do not know.

SarahStratton · 31/08/2011 13:14

Out of all of this it's the covering of the face when someone tried to take a photo that makes me Hmm

Siamo is being particularly useful this morning.

SiamoFottuti · 31/08/2011 13:20

I've read it thanks. OP isn't there. In fact I'd be surprised if anyone is there, and its not entirely made up.
I don't believe a word of it.

scurryfunge · 31/08/2011 13:36

It is an urban myth that does the rounds occasionally. southmum....read your own post - "a lot of it can probably be explained". Funny that.

AgentZigzag · 31/08/2011 14:13

If you're not sure the OP's real Siamo, then report the thread to MNHQ.

I'm surprised you haven't heard they'd prefer you to do that already.

Urban myth or not, there are manipulative and deviant people in the world who engineer meeting children, they are few and far between, but to totally brush off their existance is naive.

SiamoFottuti · 31/08/2011 14:20

I'm far from naive, I can assure you. Whoever wrote the OP certainly is though, and her family, if it in fact exists.

I'm no troll hunter, I really can't be arsed. I will give my opinion on the scaremongering nonsense contained in this thread, on this thread, though, if I so wish.

SquongebobSparepants · 31/08/2011 14:22

Asking what the father does - happened to us, he wasn't with us as he was working, they were naturally curious
Photos of the child - we get stopped a lot for people to take photos, mostly japanese weirdly enough, they are proper impressed with DD2.
Covered his face for a photo - who wants their picture taken by strangers without being asked they asked to take a photo of the child in question.

The rest can be explained by just paranoia. I am not commenting on the validity of the OP in question, that is not the point, just that vast VAST majority of people who take an interest in a child are just that, interested in the child, whether they are particularly cute, or intelligent, or friendly or whatever.

SquongebobSparepants · 31/08/2011 14:25

impressed with DD2's hair not herGrin