AIBU and overly feminist to have been narked at this mans behaviour.

[redderthanred]

Back from a long weekend camping, went to the same site earlier this year and the man on the reception/welcome desk did the same then. I made no comment then, but this time i was very pissed off ( probably not helped by the rain, thunder and lightening)

Som Despite it being me, both times to call and book, despite it being me who booked in and paid both times, despite me being with no male ( one male in the whole 3 tent camping party) The man behind the desk still hand wrote the bill to MR redderthanred.

Fucks me off.

My stepdad - the only male in the party, thought it was funny i was narked, ,my mother understood.

So - AIBU, and should i say something next time, or will that just make me look like a loon.
( if camping in thunder storms hasnt already marked me as one)

Your OP said you had already paid ? If not I would of handed it back and said you just didnt have a clue who this person was and it wasnt your bill so therefore couldn't pay it

i would have said 'oops ha ha you've put mr " - it's Ms actually, thanks.

but then i always respond to that kind of subtle sexism with passive-agressive niceness... it drives them mad, much better than showing annoyance imo.

on the flip side, my OH (we're not married) has been called MR WITCH before!!! people unfortunately make assumptions - i work in a hospital and everyone ,patients, and even friends and family assume i'm a nurse (i'm not by the way), just because i'm female. couldn't possibly be anything else, could i????

Well, it would have annoyed me too. I would have probably pointed out that actually, I am a Ms so would he like to alter it or presumably I can't pay?

Perhaps he does not want to risk Mrs/Miss/Ms so just goes for the more generic Mr

YANBU. It may be only an assumption, or 'not thinking', but it's a telling assumption and people need pulling up on stuff like that.

I had a fairly large row with someone from a call centre who refused to speak to me about our joint account because 'it is the man who deals with the money'. In (slight) mitigation it was an overseas centre but I advised him he may want to check with his supervisor before coming out with that line again.

I booked our Sky installation. I am paying for the Sky subscription. Because DH happened to answer the phone once when installers called to check something, the subscription is in his name.

We had our old car for over six years. I arranged every service. I brought the car in and picked it up. I paid. They put me down as Mr Myinitial Mylastname. Every time I went in I mentioned this and they said "Oh sorry, dear me, we'll change that, I'm making a note of it now". I was still being written to as Me Myinitial Mylastname when we sold the bloody thing.

YANBU - it's really bad manners!

"Perhaps he does not want to risk Mrs/Miss/Ms so just goes for the more generic Mr"

Er, that's what Ms is for.

If the person prefers Miss or Mrs, then they can correct, and it's all fine.

But to put down Mr to avoid "risk" (!) is daft when there's a woman clearly dealing with the billing/etc.

Two routes,

Take it and say "oh good, my exhusband will enjoy paying for this"

or my prefered "Last time I checked I was Mz/ Mrs (whatever you are and have called yourself to him). Would you like to adjust that please as I find it deeply insulting that you continue to address me as Mr."

That would have annoyed me too, and I'd have asked him to change it.

On a similar note, our bank rang recently and addressed me as Mrs. DHfirstname DHsurname. I politely asked if I sounded like a DH-firstname (very definitely male name). Surely it would have only been polite to drop his first name and use only the surname? (I am actually Ms. Myname Mysurname, but they wouldn't necessarily have known that and I'd have been happy with Mrs DHsurname)

Forward your ex husband the bill - after all, it's addressed to him, not you.

A similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago. I booked a holiday in Egypt for me and my partner. I booked and paid for everything - flights, hotels,etc. At the time I earned more than double his salary so that was fine. When we arrived the tour operator gave us an envelope addressed to "mr hisname" with all of the paperwork, receipts and vouchers for the hotel and transfers in it.

It wouldn't bother me at all as I don't tend to care about stuff like that but if I did, I would have asked him to correct it. I get it a lot as IRL I have a uni-sex name so in my work people often send letters and e-mails to dear Mr Catgirl but it doesn't bother me.

I would so laugh and ask him if he really thought I looked like a "Mr". Passive-aggressive is my middle name.

I've mentioned on another thread that BT recently wrote to XH at my address (where he's never lived) with some billing option or other. I rang them up tout de suite to say eh, what, are you getting his phone bill mixed up with mine or something? No, apparently, they had him down as an alternative contact. Obviously I got them to change it, then made an acerbic comment about why when the account is in my name and the bills have been paid from my account for the last three years - and it was a new account I opened when we divorced, because the old one was in XH's name - they decided to address the offer to the second contact, even if he was a genuine second contact. The nice chap on the phone fairly wisely contented himself with a repeated apology and assured me it would not happen again.

I would have asked him to alter it, too. AS in, "This says MR. Please will you change that."
If the idiot chooses to try and justify himself after that, he deserves a flaming!

What pickgo said about restaurants & hotels, too. I've had that and made a godawful fuss.

Very simple to solve.

You pass the bill back to him and you say "You appear to have made a mistake. There is no MrX. I am paying the bill. I am MsX"

Because i am the main householder in this house dp has had mail addressed to Mr Myname.

Op- confront him. If you dont it will happen to a hundred other women.

Beat this, Lloyds bank asked me to put my husband on the phone to see if they could negiotiate a lower interest rate for a car loan, on my bank account which my pay goes into.

This was three years ago and they have since sent about 100 loan applications through despite being asked to stop time and time again. I went with Virgin for 9% lower. How stupid do they think I am. Rant over.

I've just had a phone call from a charity I make regular donations to, asking for a Mr. Frothy Dragon. After being corrected, she called me Mr Frothy Dragon twice.... A bit of a pain... (Especially as I'd signed up face to face and couldn't have looked more feminine if I'd tried, at the time) I'm with you on the being pissed off about this thing.

Have been married 20 years. Very, very traditional, often called Mrs, etc., often say "I might discuss it with my husband first". Things like the OP has described never ever happen to me. Just bought a new car - went on my own, chap at the showroom utterly delightful - we were on first name terms in seconds; my mechanic who I've used for about 25 years has never been condescending and neither have any of the tradesmen we use. Could it be that I'm insensitive or just don't care? I don't think so. I even once sold the house!

Tell him he has spelled your name wrong. When he asks for the correct spelling point out the missing 's' in Mr.

I booked a room at a hotel. I booked in using my name, paid for it using my credit card, in my name. Booking confirnation turned up addressed to, and was opened by, MrBrastraps, which rather spoilt my surprise

Next time just say "Do I look like a man?"