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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

a minority group that must DIE

111 replies

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 29/08/2011 22:53

why do they wait until your are dieing for a wee and then just hiiiiiide at the top of the stairs with their 8 legs? You try to be kind, thinking NO NO, I will NOT kill the spider, but it is so gigantic it will not fit in the pint glass. It moves faster than concorde. It is possibly the size of a small country (give or take).

WHY!!!!!!

OP posts:

signothetimes · 30/08/2011 01:09

I hate spiders. Hate them. Alot.

My brother works in a warehouse unpacking and re-packing food for M&S. He told me years ago about a crate of bananas that were unpacked on his shift and one of those HUGE bird eating spiders crawled out of the box. Cue a whole bunch of grown hairy arsed men running screaming in the opposite direction. When they'd all calmed down a bit, they went back to see if they could capture it (none of that glass and bit of card crap - large metal implements were being brandished). They never did find it...

madhattershouse · 30/08/2011 01:11

Would love to have a link to the hairy arsed men running away from a spider..could end up as a u-tube fave!!

mais · 30/08/2011 01:12

Make sure and check the toilet bowl before you sit too, there was a gigantic one swimming in my toilet last week. I swear his legs reached all sides of the bowl, thank god I spotted him before I sat down. I was paranoid when going to the loo for the next few days that more might appear

madhattershouse · 30/08/2011 01:14

Now come on mais that's just not playing ball!! Talk about scaring the paranoid

Pixel · 30/08/2011 01:21

I hate those big spiders with a passion, I can feel my heart beating faster just thinking about them. I do the pint glass thing if dh isn't around and get dd to open the door so I can fling the spider out but then spend a good 10 mins shuddering and whining! Sometimes dh has come home from work at about 2am to find a spider under a pint glass in the middle of the kitchen floor and a big note on the door warning him not to kick it over. I did try not to pass my phobia on to dd, honest, but she is even worse than me now.

I also hate the outside brown and white stripey ones that put their webs across the garden at head height so when you nip out to the shed you walk through them and feel them on your face. That makes me totally freak out, goodness knows what the neighbours think!

smalltownshame · 30/08/2011 01:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ozziegirly · 30/08/2011 01:31

Pah.

I used to be scared of spiders in the UK. I then moved to Oz and have had massive huntsman spiders (think the size of a dinner plate and fast as a mouse) running across my car windows as I drive.

Christ.

SouthernFriedTofu · 30/08/2011 01:37

the ones in florida carry knives and they don't even need them, they just do it to freak you out

PurpleLostPrincess · 30/08/2011 01:53

They're horrible fuckers and they always appear when I'm at my most vulnerable. Had one fall off my towel as I was getting out of the shower once, then it ran towards me!!!! We've had 4 large black horrible ones in the past couple of weeks, they totally freak me out...

The routine in our house is to use the hoover, then put kitchen roll in the end of the hose while the hoover is still running (big wad so it doesn't go up the hoover), when it's secure, leave the hose facing upwards so if the fucker tries to get out it would have to climb up and would be stopped by the kitchen roll. Hoover is not to be used for a few days, unless for hoovering up large debris which would then ensure it is battered to death.

I don't hate many things, but I do hate spiders...

Bearskinwoolies · 30/08/2011 02:29

But...but...they do bite!

Attracted to warmth? OMG I'm never going to sleep safely again!

valleyqueen · 30/08/2011 02:37

Dd and I are currently living in my bedroom as the one in Thr livingroom is gigantic and we are petrified of it. We accompany each other to the loo and The kitchen.

If it comes in the bedroom I will be staying at the travel lodge down the road.

debivamp · 30/08/2011 03:22

Here is a cheery thought for you all...... Have you ever woken up with a start and had a coughing fit at the same time? You had just eaten a spider. It is generally accepted that every person eats at least 2 spiders during sleep in their life....... Fortunately I don?t mind them and have been called to neighbours? homes to 'deal' with a spider. My DD takes after me and also likes them, but I hate wasps. At least spiders eat nasty?s, unlike wasps, who as far as I can work out have now purpose at all except stinging people. She keeps asking for us to keep the big ones that come into the house and wants to give them names. DH on the other hand runs for a room and cries like a girl - bless.... They are all coming in from the gardens at the moment as it is getting cold and are looking for a warm place to hide out for the winter. Can?t blame them really.

Bearskinwoolies · 30/08/2011 03:57

I thought that whole eating spiders thing was an urban legend?

Bearskinwoolies · 30/08/2011 04:00

Phew! www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp

Will be sleeping somewhat better knowing this

Lunabelly · 30/08/2011 09:49

So why did I once wake up with one of those fuckers sitting on my face. Sure, it felt quite soothing (till I awoke and realised what it was), certainly more soothing when my cat woke me up at 3am by licking my eyelids (twelve kinds of Wrong) and mouth (infinite rings of Wrong), but what was it doing on my face?

I'll tell you what it was doing. Him and all his mates were playing Russian roulette / chicken with my mouth for adrenaline kicks. I'll wager the rest of them were lined up on the wardrobe, drinking red bull and vodka, awarding marks out of ten. Bastards.

ledkr · 30/08/2011 10:09

bears be only remotely soothed by that link. A lady in our village actually died in the summer from a spider bite,apparently had anaphlactic from it she had 3 young daughters tragic.

When my friend was staying over one night we were just getting ready to go up and i saw a massive black spider on her back. I was delerious with hysteria as i approached her brandishing my tea towell in whip mode,sensing thius she began to panic just as i struck.Merely tapping it,it decided to wander over her shoulder and onto her chest,we were screaming like banshees at this point and ds2 came downstairs like this i locked him in the room untill he had sorted things out.
He told me he had caught it and eviicted it, HE WAS LYING it was back the following day on my dining room wall,it had eyes on stalks.
This time i caught it myself in a spider catcher and took it about a mile down the rd as i believe they home!Like pigeons.

ViviPru · 30/08/2011 10:14

You people need to read Charlotte's Web

SDTGisAnEvilGenius · 30/08/2011 10:42

I have read Charlotte's Web, Vivi - but it never said anything about the nasty little bugger that crawled out of the Harvest Festival display of fruit and veg at church one year, crawled up my cassock (I was in the church choir) and ran over my face whilst we were singing "All Things Bright and Beautiful"!!

VeraCanSignChocolateAndWine · 30/08/2011 10:46

Ooh did someone mention that spiders are not a minority group - there's bloody hundreds of them! They outnumber the human members of my household about 20000 to 1!

Debated hoovering one up last week, but wouldn't have been able to face emptying the Hoover.

Bearskinwoolies · 30/08/2011 14:33

I don't really place that much faith in that link tbh - but I needed to get the idea of spiders in mouths out of my brain before I went to bed, otherwise I'd have woken up the household again having nightmares

We get the giant house spiders here, and even the dog won't go near them. My neighbour was bitten by one last autumn, and his hand ballooned up nastily.

eurochick · 30/08/2011 15:33

ARGH!

A couple of weeks ago I woke up with two double puncture wounds in the crook of my elbow. I couldn't work out what they were only to be told they were spider bites.

About 10 days later we found a MONSTER spider in our bedroom.

Cries

I hate this time of year. They all start to come in out of the cold to freeload on my central heating whilst scaring the crap out of me!

ledkr · 30/08/2011 21:33

they come in to mate i believe,what do they think i am,a cheap b and b ? Grrr
I had forgotten this thread but now i wont sleep.

rhondajean · 30/08/2011 21:47

Oh no I wish I hadnt read this. I am so bad that once when there was a ginormous spider in the bath I just closed the door and took the kids to my MILs to use the loo until DH came home to obliterate it.

When DD1 was small she was once at the far end of the living room when a huge thing zoomed from under the couch and stopped dead in the middle of the floor between us staring at me. DH to the rescue again although he couldnt stop laughing at me having complete hysterics (when he came into the room I was screaming , its got her! its got her! and pointing at spider/child in incoherent turns).

They are wrong oh so wrong and undoubtedly evil and all out to get me

lazylula · 30/08/2011 21:51

I moved my dishwasher out to clean behind it and found a huge spider. Ran for the trusty Dyson, told the children to stand back, aimed and pressed the on button. I got it as far as I could tell, but after leaving the hoover on for 5 minutes to make sure it had been sucked in up the pipe properly I emptied the hoover contents into a carrier and tied it in a knot. That bag is now in the bin outside and I am now worried about putting the rubbish out tomorrow incase it is still alive. I am pathetic, I know.

prettyfly1 · 30/08/2011 22:05

snort - I too have had an invasion of hairy backed feckers scuttling across the floor at innopportune moments - this thread has almost made it worth it though (pretty wanders off, pint glass in hand to ask mnhq to put this thread into classics.......)

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