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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel mad that PIL gave 2 year old dd a McD's?

76 replies

mrsmusic · 29/08/2011 21:00

It was my sister's wedding this weekend and our dd's just turned 2. PIL came to the night do for a little while then took dd home to theirs when she got knackered. When we picked her up the next morning we were quite surprised she'd not gone to sleep until after 10pm (they left by half 8) and then was up at 5:30am! (She usually has 12 hours whatever; it must be over a year since she's woken before 7am; lucky us, we know). However we put this down to excitement of the day, winding down etc. Then we saw them today for a bbq when they announced they'd given her 3 pieces of (brandy-filled) wedding cake when they got there and then she'd had a full McDonald's on the way home. They thought it was funny as they never thought she'd eat a whole one! Don't get me wrong she has treats etc, but I really thought this was pretty selfish - I know they'd not seen much of her that day and such but surely home for bottle of milk before bed would've been on the cards? I know it won't have done her any harm in the long run etc but I feel livid. Like I say of course she has treats but we've never taken her to McDonalds and if we did it wouldn't be a full adult meal she'd be getting! AIBU?

OP posts:

ChumleeIsMyHomeboy · 29/08/2011 21:38

My grandmother gave my five year old DS a glass of Amarula cream once (like Baileys but even more sickly sweet) - he bloody loved it! Funnily enough there was no lasting damage and we laugh about it now! So I'm afraid, OP, that you are being U but at least you can see that!

maras2 · 29/08/2011 21:39

Fair play to you Mrsmusic.No way could I endure the wrath (views ) of Mumsnetters so good woman yourself. Mx.

upahill · 29/08/2011 21:52

mrsmusic i know you have answered but can I just say something?
my kids are older than yours, they are 15 and 11.
I rememeber my eldest being your DD's age and you would have thought I was the only person ever to have had a baby.
If my mum and dad (who I didn't see very often) looked after him and they did things 'wrong' I was up in arms about things.

DH pointed out that they didn't do a bad job of raising me and my siblings.

I think that's when it occured to me that as long as they were safety concious about the important things - which they were - most other things were pretty much unimportant and the kids will grow up fine anyway (Big Mac or not )

I'd never taken my kids to McDonalds, no paticular reason it's just a place that it never occurs to me to go but my dad took DS2 there when he was quite young. It became something that Ds2 and grandad 'did'

You are going to have numerous expierences over the next decade or so of people (parents of your children's friends, teachers, grandparents) doing things that you perhaps wouldn't. You have to learn to go with the flow for most things, which I know is easier said than done, but as long as safety and cultural beliefs aren't compromised it will lead to a more relaxing life.

It is too easy to get bogged down with stuff that doesn't matter too much.

upahill · 29/08/2011 21:54

Blimey I rambled a bit there Sorry!

I hope you managed to find my point in the middle of all that!!

YellowWallpaper · 29/08/2011 22:01

chill... if this is the worst thing your in-laws have done you are a lucky, lucky girl. You need to take stock and gewt a grip on what is important in the grand scheme of things.

YellowWallpaper · 29/08/2011 22:04

oops sorry OP should have read thread first, can see you did indeed chill...

ballstoit · 29/08/2011 22:17

Can your PIL take me home after a night out please? How nice would it be to be chauffered (sp?) around and fed brandy filled cakes and McDs?

halcyondays · 29/08/2011 22:30

YABU. A McDonalds meal is not a class A substance. If she had treats then they probably never dreamt that you would object. Just be grateful that your dd has loving grandparents who can spend time with her and that you were able to have a night off.

rubyrubyruby · 29/08/2011 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SinicalSal · 29/08/2011 22:35

ballstoit it sounds like a corker of a night out, in fairness.

sayithowitis · 30/08/2011 00:16

Not going to continue with the issue of the MCDs, since that has already been dealt with and you accept that YWBU.

WRT the 'brandy soaked 'cake, I am guessing that you were concerned because of the alcohol content? if the fruit was soaked or boiled in the brandy prior to the cake being cooked, then almost all the alcohol will have evaporated during the cooking process. If the cake was 'fed' with brandy after cooking, then depending on how much and how often, Brandy was poured onto it, again, a fair proportion of the alcohol will have evaporated. Whilst you still get the flavour of the alcohol, the actual quantity of alcohol in the cake is really quite small, so I would not be too concerned about your child being given some.

My own children had frequent access to alcohol soaked cakes when they were younger and it never did them any harm. Honestly!

DawnTiggaFashionGoddess · 30/08/2011 09:06

YABU and it's McDonald's not McDonalds.

PedanticForAChangeButFFSLivid?Tigga

Original poster

mrsmusic · 30/08/2011 10:35

Golly I can't believe people have still posted!

To reiterate, I was being unreasonable; was feeling a little emotional last night and 'livid' was too strong a word to put in the first place - if I was 'livid' I would have said something and I didn't.

I went to bed feeling suitably stupid about the whole thing - quite rightly and thank you to the mn jury last night :)

Now I promise I don't need reminding again. And again.

Apologies for the lack of apostrophe. For goodness sake. Remind me not to post on here again!

OP posts:

Original poster

mrsmusic · 30/08/2011 10:37

Thank you to the poster who put about the cake - I hadn't given it a second thought until my own Mum, who made it, seemed horrified that dd had had some. I feel very informed! x

OP posts:

Scholes34 · 30/08/2011 10:41

Just because they did it, doesn't mean you have to. My children were amazed recently when I directed some tourists to McD's in our town, as they thought I didn't know where it was because we don't go there.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles are great for doing things with you that your parents would never do! It was just a one-off.

Whatmeworry · 30/08/2011 10:42

PFB alert :)

If she aint dead yet, she will live...McD is fine in moderation, it's not devil food, it's just a bloody hamburger

ThePosieParker · 30/08/2011 10:44

Awwww....... we're all like this with our PFBs!!!

Whatmeworry · 30/08/2011 10:46

Oh didn't see OP post 5 mins before. YABU re apostrophe apologies :o

BustyStClaire · 30/08/2011 10:49

Shush, you ridiculous person!

LadyBeagleEyes · 30/08/2011 10:51

I do wish people would read the whole thread before posting.
I've lost count of the number of times the OP has agreed she was BU, and she has taken it all very, well, reasonably I suppose

NorfolkBroad · 30/08/2011 10:54

I do know what you mean in the sense that some people seem to love "feeding" your kids.....not as in just offering them food but "treating" them to the point of making them sick! My wonderful dad has just started doing that with my dd! I don't really know why!

Anyway, assuming it was just a one off I wouldn't worry too much. You did get to have fun at the party unencumbered. If it keeps happenind then say something obviously.

NorfolkBroad · 30/08/2011 10:56

Sorry, LadyBeagleEyes, you are right. We shall let it lie! We all have those slightly mad mum moments after all.

Loonytoonie · 30/08/2011 10:58

Ah OP, have a . I admire you for posting and accepting your numerous YABU's with good grace. I think most a few posters were hoping for a major flounce, in typical AIBU stylee so that a bun fight could start.

HipHopOpotomus · 30/08/2011 11:08

YABU but they do sound abit thick - ask them to stick to a Happy Meal next time.

diddl · 30/08/2011 12:06

I think U to be livid, but to me odd that they gave her such a heavy meal so late tbh.

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