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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Relatives who drive you to insanity

30 replies

GeraldineAubergine · 26/08/2011 16:29

I have just been speaking to my aunt, whom I love deeply, but she drives me insane. I am a nurse and I work in theatres. It's quite specialised and I worked hard to do my training. My aunt refuses to believe that I have such a responsible job and even though I have told her a thousand times what I do, acts completely incredulous if eg we are watching a surgical tv programme and there is a scrub nurse, she will say 'oh but that's not like your job Geraldine'.
To make matters worse my brother used to be a nurse, then became a rep, was last registered 15 years ago. Any health prob she has she phones him straight away. I feel like screaming 'BUT IM A NURSE, HERE AND NOW, ASK ME!'. but obviously I never do. I just feel really exasperated by her. It's like she's doing it on purpose. I'm close to her since my mum died and she's lovely in most ways but this one thing is making me unfeasibly angry. Aibu or do other posters ever get this?

OP posts:
tuxedoprincess · 26/08/2011 16:36

I used to get the attitude from PIL that what I did wasn't a real job... as in it was just something I did for fun and DH was soooo hardworking until i pointed out that I had a degree and trained hard and they saw something in a magazine they had that named me.... instant respect. see how they feel now that I have been made redundant and will be relying on DH to keep me in the style to which i have become accustomed lol.

wheelshavefallenoffthebus · 26/08/2011 16:40

My mum is a nurse and used to get the same kind of thing. Her relatives would ask her for advice and then do what they wanted anyway.
I get it a bit (i'm a physio) with my MIL who recently tried to convince me that frozen shoulder comes on after sitting in a draught for too long!
I think it saves hassle to ignore any comments if you can or sometimes go into lengthy medical jargon full explanations if you feel like it!

Original poster
GeraldineAubergine · 26/08/2011 16:47

I do sometimes feel like telling her something really graphic but I think it's cruel. :)

OP posts:
LineRunner · 26/08/2011 16:55

Last summer I was at a garden party, sitting with two gentlemen. Both know that I have a PhD in a particular subject. Man 1 asked Man 2 for his opinion on That Particular Subject, threw a glance at me and said, 'Get us another cup of tea, love.'

featherbag · 26/08/2011 18:46

I get the exact same thing from DGM, I'm an ED nurse and got so sick of her implying all I do is make cups of tea for doctors and mop the occasional brow (supervised by a doctor of course, in case I did it wrong) that I put her on a strict diet of '24 Hours in A&E'. She still said 'oh, but at your hospital the doctors would do all that, wouldn't they?'.

LineRunner · 26/08/2011 18:49

But I expect that you are all terribly pretty.

rhondajean · 26/08/2011 19:00

My parents do this!! Drives me bonkers.

StealthPolarBear · 26/08/2011 19:02

lol at these
Are you all a bit hormonal Wink
[ducks]

Original poster
GeraldineAubergine · 26/08/2011 19:02

She just phoned me and said 'my friend is going in for her gallbladder out next week, you think brotheraubergine knows anything about that?' ARGH!

OP posts:
Original poster
GeraldineAubergine · 26/08/2011 19:04

He never bastard rings her anyway, even if he knew aid all about anything. Seethe, hiss, rant, mutter.......

OP posts:
LoopyLiz88 · 26/08/2011 19:04

my fil does this. No matter that DH and I are in the same profession and that I actually bring in more money. No no I couldn't possibly know more about immigration law than their precious son.

StealthPolarBear · 26/08/2011 19:04

ooh Angry what did you say?
btw is your brother a lot older than you? Are you seen as th baby?

kelly2000 · 26/08/2011 19:06

have you tried asking her why she behaves like that, she might not realise she does it? Maybe she just thinks of you as still being a little girl and cannot imagine you having a proper grown up job as you are so young. She probably boasts to all of her friends about her little niece who works in A&E.
Linerunner so did you get the tea?

StealthPolarBear · 26/08/2011 19:06

PILs are like this - will always ask DH about computer problems, even though we both worked in computers. Thing is though DH is very knwledgeable about hardware and networks and I am not, so that's probably why. But then their question would be "how do i put a picture in a word document?" and I'd try to tell them and they'd go Hmm and ask DH!

Original poster
GeraldineAubergine · 26/08/2011 19:07

My brother is 9 years older, she loooooves him, he's selfish and vain and thoughtless. I said 'if brotheraubergine ever rings you, you could ask him.' she once said when I told her I assist in actual surgery 'don't be silly Geraldine, that's what DOCTORS do'.

OP posts:
Original poster
GeraldineAubergine · 26/08/2011 19:26

Ty for all the replies ladies. I have calmed down now, sorry for those that have had similar shite experiences. I feel better for a vent. :)

OP posts:
kelly2000 · 26/08/2011 19:41

Why do you not just ask straight out "what is your problem with the fact I work as such and such, why do you always try to insist that is not what I do?"

Andrewofgg · 26/08/2011 19:50

Einstein said that two things were infinite, human folly and the universe, and he wasn't sure about the universe.

The only people who don't have any relations who annoy them are those who don't have any relations at all - so be glad you have this one.

skinnymuffin · 26/08/2011 19:54

My Grandma was very disappointed that I left university with an honours degree but without a fiancé - absolutely no point me going at all, apparently.

LineRunner · 26/08/2011 19:56

Kelly2000, No, I didn't get the tea! I took the piss out them, tbh. It's the only way.

LineRunner · 26/08/2011 19:59

skinny, My father says that I have 'degrees coming out of my arse' but similarly feels that my lack of rich husband is a tragedy.

On dark nights alone in bed, clutching my New Scientist, I do wonder...

But then I read few 'My DP's a twat' posts on MN and all is well.

skinnymuffin · 26/08/2011 20:03

Ooh linerunner, that sounds painful, your poor arse! Can you get some cream for that? Ask Aubergine's brother - he'll know :o

Theala · 26/08/2011 20:05

Linerunner, please tell me you beat them both to a bloody pulp.

LineRunner · 26/08/2011 20:07

Geraldine, skinny says that can we ask your brother about some cream for my academic arse?

LiegeAndLief · 26/08/2011 20:13

I have the opposite problem - I have a degree in medical microbiology and am a molecular biologist. My parents (and grandma) seem to think I am a doctor. I think it's something to do with the "medical" in my degree.

My grandpa was very ill in hospital recently and when the doctor who came to see us asked if we had any questions my mum said "better ask Liege, she's the medical one". Well, I am quite good at manipulating viral DNA, but not so hot on strokes. The doctor was terribly apologetic and assumed I was also a doctor Blush. I had to point out that I knew nothing and my family were delusional.

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