Helicopters in the park

[deliakate]

the parents, I mean. This bugs me - DS is just 2, and I think he is old enough for me to be able to sit down on a bench whilst he plays. Keeping an eye obv for the one dangerous area - the swings - where he could get kicked. Normally I am the only mum attempting this, despite many of the kids there at the moment clearly being 5+. Sometimes dads are the worst. Can't kids learn to push each other around the roundabout, and actually have fun and make friends with other kids without their parents guiding them around what is essentially a small space designed specifically for kids to explore safely on their own???

Sorry if this has been done before.

I reckon they are all staying close to their kids because of the crazy lady sitting on the bench staring into space

It seems to me that there is too much of this "leaving kids to their own devices".
Wasn't that the ultimate cause of so many youngsters being involved in the riots? i.e. parents just leaving their kids to run riot without parental input or control.
IMO a little more input and playing together, is actually what is called for, so a big "congratulations" and "well done" to helicopter parents for showing an interest, and a big "bad person" to people who "leave their kids to explore"!

Well DH is an employer, and he thinks the latest crop of graduates are just rubbish - they have been dubbed the Helicopter generation within his practice. They expect to be spoon fed an amazing career, and be helped to all the best work immediately, not to start at the bottom and work their way up - and I just think that kind of thing starts young. So I was wondering whether the new style of parenting (new to me, this didn't happen when I was young) is contributing to another generation of kids who aren't self-starters, and don't know how to make things happen for themselves.

i think some young adults have always thought this though, you go out fresh into the world and think you're the bees knees, 'the best thing since sliced bread' isn't a new saying.

True, they are always keenos. But DH and partners have noticed a big diff in the last 7-10 years. I hear about it a lot on Radio 4 too. When I am busy ignoring my son in the comfort of our own home.

See what you mean, but IMO, as an employer, its nothing to do with exploring in a park when you are young. Its to do with the bloody lunatic left that want to give everyone free choice about everything and parents who aren't tough enough with their kids.
The solution is clear to me - back to basics at school - 3 sciences, maths, english grammar, geography, history, second language, sport - 2 years National service at 16 - back to A' Levels at 18 - followed by an apprenticeship.
Its either that or public flogging - take your pick!

Well, a lot of the parents keep a close eyes on their children in our local playground too, and that includes 4 and 5 year olds. I'm glad one mother/carer was 'helicoptering' yesterday, as she leapt forward and caught her four year old before he excitedly jumped off the climbing frame and landed on my 18 month old DS' head.

I was, however, really annoyed that another mother was nowhere to be seen - her 3 year old was trying to stamp on DS' feet as he was climbing up the steps to the slide.

I suppose it does depend on the playground though.

....or maybe ALL of it!!

Yes, Kalypso, playgrounds where the parents are all sitting chatting round the edge do seem to turn into Lord of the Flies...

Your kids are the type of kids that push my ds off ladders, shove past them when they are not confident with running across wobbly bridges and running up slides because the parents are not there to tell them not to.

While i am there making sure my ds doesn't do anything to other kids and also making sure he doesn't dive bomb off a height or run into swings as he has no sense.

I always think to myself while a kid has fallen face first off a climbing frame and is crying/bleeding why no one has rushed over to see if they are all right. This one time i had to hunt down a child's mum because she was just lying there screaming for ages.

Easy to turn it around.

YAB a bit U.

I've helicoptered in the past - to stop DS1 from assaulting other kids... No matter how laid back I don't think many parents would have been accepting of the savaging he used to be able to mete out to other kids in a matter of seconds as 'just learning to sort it out for themselves'.

Now he's older and all grown out of that I don't have to watch him really but DS2 has special needs that are not immediately visible and I do have to be with him pretty closely.

I guess it's all about knowing when to leave them to it. It's great that you trust your son to be play by himself but I didn't and I can't really see why it's a problem that others choose to be different.

And we get real helicopters in our park too! Ambulance ones. Massive excitement all round.

It really depends on the type of park, there are parks round where I live designed for small children and those for older children with more hazards. At 2 I think that they still need some help with the equipment, depending on the type of park, there is plenty of time to sit back and read a book when they are a little older. I do with my dd 4.5 but still occasionally helicopter (SN dev delay, AS traits) especially if she 'borrows' other children's things.

YABU. I wouldn't let a 2 year old just play on their own. Also when my children were small I went to the park with them to spend time with them. DD3 has learning difficulties and is Dyspraxic, when she was 5 she wouldn't have managed to go up the big slide on her own or manage the swings.

Depends on the park/facility.
At centre parcs we were sitting at a table by the infants soft play whilst ds (was 2 at the time) played.
There were so many parents in the soft play and a legion of them standing at the entrance to it that I cld not keep an eye on DS.
The flaming thing was designed around taking seating close by in view of the soft play and the helicopters ended up obscuring the entire thing.
A regular park, I would be more inclined to stay close.

YANBU

I can't stand this too. When did we become so obsessed about our children taking the smallest risk...? Of course it would be terrible for children to get seriously hurt but really falling over/falling off things/bumps/grazes/bruises etc are part of childhood. Most playgrounds today seem reasonably safe to me and have safety covering on the floor, for goodness sake let your children go off and PLAY unsupervised!

And apart from the safety aspect another thing that bugs me is parents getting too closely involved in normal childhood squabbles. 'Share nicely, it was his turn first, that wasn't very nice, let the little girl have a turn now' etc etc. How will children ever LEARN these things for themselves if they're constantly being stood over?

Ourplanetneptune - in this circumstance how other people choose to parent DOES affect me because when other children are being molly-coddled inside, MY children have no-one to play with!

My dd has social communication difficulties and does not know how to react socially as other children would, so yes sometimes I intervene, but now I am taking a step back and trying to let her get on with it, after all she starts school in September and I wont be there so she will have to adapt on her own.

At just turned two, my DD1 couldn't climb a slide or find the courage to go down it without a lot of encouragement and hand holding.

She was slow to crawl and walk and has never been physically confident and always needed a lot of reassurance. She's come on loads in the past year and now at just turned three can pretty much do anything.

I don't hover but I do keep an eye on her. She still has her moments where she'll corpse at the top of a slide and want me to carry her down. That's ok with me.

I'm wondering if you have much experience of other children because your post comes across as though you have no idea that other children may not be exactly like your son.

Depends on what the playground is like and what the child is like. Plenty of 2 year old need a bit of help with equipment and may have little sense of danger so might jump off a climbing frame or need a bit help with climbing if they aren't confident or are still a bit wobbly. Parents might hover because they know their child has a tendency to push, bite or hit other children. Playgrounds are a place for young children to play under supervision, children can still get hurt despite modern safety surfaces.

I hover when I feel it's needed or when they ask for help, e.g pushing a swing, but let them get on with it wherever possible.

Normally I am by nature a 'let them get on with it' type parent but due to the number of school-age kids in the playground at the moment I find myself hovering more- twice recently I've had to intervene when bigger kids were stopping my 3yo have a turn on something and their parents were nowhere to be seen! Only today some bigger girls were just sitting at the top of the slide chatting and telling DD she wasn't allowed to go down it

Of course parents should supervise their children and be nearby when they play. But I hear so many actually telling the child what to play on next, busying them around from thing to thing, not stopping for long enough for the child to actually get their bearings on it themselves. Ours is a small park, you can see what's going on in almost all spots, and listen out for any bullying behaviour or skirmishes, so I'm not worried DS is kicking sand in anyone's face.

My oldest son is the a big hulk of a boy, he has no fear and is very confident. Sometimes enthusiasm gets the better of him and he forgets his own strength, so I watch him because I would rather he did not accidentally hurt other children. My middle son is quiet and reserved, he prefers to play with his brothers and cousins. He likes play parks but can be easily intimidated and needs a bit of encouragement and handholding. I watch him because if I don't, he will be the one being pushed around. He is growing in confidence but it is a slow careful process. In a year or so he will not need me to be there.

The point Dancergirl is that while you are miffed that other people's children are being molly-coddled inside, MY children have no-one to play with. I'm only concerned with how to encourage my children to gain confidence (without the arrogance). I couldn't give two hoots about how other people are doing it, perhaps I should but I can't bring myself to care.

Is it just me or are ROUNDABOUTS a nightmare!!! One big accident waiting to happen!

The field across the road from me is the mountain rescue landing strip, so I've a seen a few helicopters land in my time.
If you've seen one you've seen them all imo. Noisy buggers they are, I can't hear my telly.
I don't see the connection of ignoring your 2 year old and your husband's employees either.

YABU. Sounds like you're looking for an award for Most Liberal Parent at the Playpark. I hope your husband is suitably impressed by your insights into the impact of early years parenting on producing a valued and worthy workforce.