To be sick of hearing parents moaning about the summer holidays, minding their kids, not enjoying their kids

[professorsnape]

I've had to up to here with listening to parents moaning about minding their kids, wishing for them to be back to school and out of the house.

Sisters-in-law throwing her eyes up to heaven and sounding jaded when he DD needs a drink/help in toilet/help with a game.

Or friends who just want to keep children quiet by plonking them in front of DVDs, filling them with junk, etc in the hope they'll go off to bed at nighttime.

Look, we've all have off days, believe you me (have DD age 4, 1 year old twin DS) but do we not owe it to our children to have a better attitude, a more positive one? To pretend we have anyway!

FFS, I wish they would roll up their sleeves, switch off the telly, get out in the fresh air, and just enjoy their kids!!!

When they're teenagers and hate our guts we'll regret it!

Rant over

Not to split hairs, but finding the school holidays hard is an example of finding parenthood tough.

How many weeks off school do your children have, ProfSnape? Mine have ten. Believe me, that is several too many. Esp. as one of my children is autistic. Would you like to swap?

Ah. Yes. I have read more, and it's so true that the holidays are different for parents who work outside of the house for the rest of the year. Try being self-employed at home for ten weeks in summer with the children's 'help'.

One very ill mother who needs me to care for her, one autistic child who is having a hard time, and trying to get Avon Sales up and recruiting Avon Reps trying to fit it all in is a nightmare, a father who has seen him twice the entire holiday.

Yes damned it as much as I love my child I will be cheering as the school gates eventually open.

Perfectly put by Nesta. YABU.

YABU and I don't even have school age children.

But DD has been at nursery mornings only for the last school year and I have noticed the difference even with that. For the first week or so it was nice to not have to think about bookbags/permission slips/show and tell/random stuff it always seems necessary to remember to take to school. Not to mention getting 4.7 DD and 2.7 DS dressed and out of the house for the 30 minute walk to school.

BUT I have found the holidays tiring and expensive. God knows what it must be like for those with older ones. We had a week's caravan beach holiday before the schools broke up as it was so much cheaper. I work from home a lot which has meant doing a lot more at night once the DCs are asleep. We have been to Legoland, Lollibop, DD has been to fairy school and has done a week of arts/crafts lessons (2 hours a day). We have had a constant stream of different friends over to play who have trashed our house and required more food shopping and refereeing. We have spent a week at my (knackered) parents, been swimming and to softplay more times than I could count. I could write a book about children's playgrounds in north London. And we have still also pretty much exhausted our DVD collection and playdough/paint supplies.

I am almost looking forward to the school-run again (although I never thought I'd say that at the end of last term!). And I am very behind in my studies, which am attempting to do whilst working full-time with 2 pre-school kids. Ok, rant over.

OP - YABU. Although respect for coping with a 4-yr old and 1-yr old twins!

When I started to read this thread I honestly thought I was going to agree with you, OP, but...

I have just realised that I am subconsciously counting down the days until school, because I am knackered! My DCs are gorgeous, and luckily no trouble at all but I work part time and the holidays are far harder for me than term time. Holiday club is a godsend, and they love it , but it is expensive, my journey to work doubles in time and distance, and I gave to make packed lunches etc. Then I spend the afternoons doing "holiday stuff" so I feel that they had a proper summer, and days out at weekend. So the housework gets left until the evening, and I find myself ironing and sewing in bloody name labels at 10pm, night after night...

And work is busy, because everyone is on holiday, so clients are juggling around their hold etc.

I adore every second I have with my children, but I am completely exhausted right now (and it's bathtime and I've still got to unstack dishwasher, Hoover, and iron bedding for relatives coming to stay for the Bank Holiday!)

I am also going to moan about the fact that I spent the run up towards and most of the school holidays with a kidney infection that will not go away.

I think my patience may also be wearing thin because I've a very difficult daughter (doesn't sleep ever, always getting into trouble, especially crayons, moody and contrary) and she finally starts pre-school and this will be the first time since I was seven weeks pregnant with a toddler, in a wheelchair and on my own, that I am going to get any quality time to myself.

So yes, I am moaning, groaning, throwing myself around dramatically, and generally have had enough of two children fighting, telling me they are bored and being poo-poo heads to me.

We're off on holiday tomorrow though, so I've put moaning on hiatus until we're back, at which point we'll be on a seven day count down.

"smug, self-righteous cheerleader"

Not saying that's my personal opinion of the OP but by Christ what an absolutely marvellous phrase, SiamoFottuti

Have thought about this while sorting out yet another squabble, and I think I might have felt similar when my DCs were the same ages as the OP's. OP: entertaining pre-schoolers is a breeze compared to older primary/early secondary ones who really aren't happy to settle for feeding the ducks and splashing cutely in puddles.

I bumped into the mother of a girl in DD's class in town recently. I looked like the harrassed, unkempt person I always am, as I was trying to negotiate shopping, children, etc, etc. Said mother - perfectly dressed, and with hairdresser hair, as she always has - greeted me with, "don't you find the holidays are just too short?"

I didn't reply that if I had one docile girl (an only child), a gardener, a cleaner, and a husband who earns so much that I could afford to do nothing for ten weeks (all of which apply to said mother), I might have a very different take on the holidays.

As it was, I managed to say, "no, I don't find that really" before having to separate DS and DD, who think it's good entertainment to try to kick one another.

I AGREE with the OP. I love spending time with the kids in the holidays.
We don't have much money.
There's only 3 people I know that help me out ever (when they can).

It rains loooaddddsss where I live (same as the rest of the UK I know.
I work, have 4 kids from new baby to teenager.
There's always housework, washing, cleaning etc to be done.
Yes we all have 'off days'. I know I have shouty days!
Despite all this I have done my best, the kids and I have enjoyed ourselves. Some days we have just been for walks, been out for cheap lunches (wherever there are money off vouchers), been to local parks, watched films,
I am not trying to be smug, don't think the OP is either.
There are always people worse off than you. Like people who are disabled parents and find things really hard.
I don't know why people do have kids and moan about them (not the occasional moan we all have) but the ones that can't wait to get rid of them back to school and actually like not seeing them or spending time with them. Its very sad!

Then you can bite me as well.

does your total lack of empathy affect your life in many ways?

Yet another perfectly-expressed post, WoB

I especially like, "harassed, unkempt" and the kicking for entertainment as well as your "smile and nod while saying something entirely neutral" response. Now where is that "like" button?

DD has mercifully been at summer school all week and had a summer week (£ but well worth it) at her dancing class at the start of the hols.

Poor DS just doesn't know what is going on. He misses his sort-of routine with pre-school two and a half hours three times a week and is just settling in to being at home but soon he'll be going to school on a mini-bus from 8:30 to 3:30 and he's only just four

I do understand its hard for some people but what I mean is it even harder for other people. A friend of mine is a single mum with MS. She is in a wheelchair, her illness is getting worse. Her ex was violent, he doesn't help her in any way.
She never whinges about her kids and does lots with them (as physically possible)

They don't have much money.
What I mean is if she doesn't say how she wants the kids to go back to school and how tough it is then how can I? I have things easy compared to her, so do most people.
Make you realise how easy you do have it and that you should enjoy what you are able to do.

Who doesn't like seeing or spending time with their dc chipsy i know alot of parents and have never met anyone that this could be said of. We're all relieved to get a break sometimes, nobody is a saint and dc are very hard work but i don't think that there are many people who don't enjoy their children.

and i hate the attitude that because somebody else has it harder than you, you should not be allowed to complain.

Yeah I'd love an hour on my own! I am not saying I wouldn't. I am reminiscing about relaxing in the bath for an hour with a glass of wine, book and a box of chocolates now - a distant memory but oh well! Last time I went for a wee 2 of the kids came in to ask where their shoes were.

Oh OP, honestly once your dcs get a little older you will not be saying that. DCs get a lot of stimulation at school and they are tired of it by the end of term. So it is great to relax and spend time together, and - for parents - it is great not to have to do the school run.

But after four weeks, the dcs are ready to learn again - then they get a bit understimulated - and stroppy - and the sibling squabbling really gets going. God it is tiring. Personally I am pretty desperate for some me-time. Which I will get in September... Can't wait.

@ YABACC

WhiffofBath--You are me Hilarious!

Today I had to jump into a swimming pool fully clothed to break up my DSs squabbling in the pool (which I very mistakenly thought would abate in their "happy place"). Then I had to pick up my daughter from camp sopping wet. I am like the slummy mummy, except real.

Roll on School.

I have 4 dc, my eldest who is 11 has ADHD and the seven weeks he will have been off for have played havoc with his routine, Ive had to cope with several meltdowns which have got worse and difficult to manage at times.

My dd2 who is four has been bewildered by the change of routine ie going from school to no school and her behaviour has been a challenge at times. We suspect that she may have mild ADHD and now her sleeping has gone poor and she is now sleepwalking.

DD1 aged 9 broke her arm on her birthday in early aug and is in plaster up to her shoulder. She can't go on play equipment, go swimming, fishing, biking, or on long walks because she feel like crap (its slow healing too)

DD3 has not been very well either.

I have rolled up my sleeves, switched off tthe telly, got out in the fresh air and enjoyed my kids, many many times this holidays but when you are parenting kids with special needs, injured kids and you are a single parent with very little money and no car and public transport is SHIT and expensive then you may come on here and judge me.

What the hell do you know anyway op? you only have a 4 year old and 1 year old twins. I'm sure they are a challenge, not belittling that fact but you are hardly an expert on school holidays are you. Wait till yours are much older hey?

It all depends on your circumstances really - I'm in the middle of a house move, putting up with a controlling soon to be ex-h who hasn't taken any time off this summer for the DC, a very hyperactive, destructive DS (probably ASD) and a diabetic DD who refuses to eat when given her insulin - so, I've not really enjoyed this summer with them, although I know I'll miss them when they are back at school. Surely it's not quite normal to savour every second with DC when all you want to do is sit down for 5 minutes and have a cup of tea and not listen to anyone?

sheepgomeep, I empathise with your situation, I really do. Poor you, it does sound very hard. I can see why you're happy for your DC 1 and 2 to be back in their routines.

And I am no expert on school holidays, it's true.

I will challenge you on the 'you only have 4 year old and 1 year old twins' as the last year or so has been very busy and challenging of course (very prem babies, health issues, etc.). Of course it probably seems trivial though as you seem to have it tougher.

chipsycheese thank you for summing up my original sentiment in a better way.

siamofotutti I don't think it's a lack of empathy to particular situations. Of course every situation is different. I think it was a fault of mine to speak in general terms (of course not in specifics).

"a smug, self-righteous cheerleader" - what a ridiculous oxymoran! Made me laugh :)

I popped along to a under 5s tennis lesson with all four of mine, oldest two have been at the club for years and helped out. Mother of 1 pipes up with eyes rolled amd says "oh gosh how are your holidays?...... I replied that they were fantastic Thanks.